"Youko Nakajima, I heard she ran away."
Her friend's familiar-sounding voice got the ball rolling. All at once a storm of lively chatter rained down on Youko's ears.
"Ran away from home? You're kidding!"
"It's the truth! She wasn't sick, yesterday. She ran away. Last night I got a call from her mother. I was totally surprised!"
This must be from some time ago.
"I can't believe it!"
"And she was class president!"
"Yeah, with those serious types, you never know what they're up to when nobody's looking."
"That's for sure."
Youko had to laugh again. Her reality was so different from what they could imagine.
"Like there was this weird guy who showed up and took off with her. I heard he was a real gangbanger type."
"A guy? You think they were doing it?"
"Yeah, you think they eloped?"
"I heard that, too. You know how all the windows in the principal's office got broken? It was her boyfriend who did it."
"Serious?"
"Hey, this guy, what was he like?"
"I don't really know, but he had this long, bleached hair that gave off a real creepy vibe."
"I never would have figured that Nakajima was into the metal scene."
"Or something like that."
Keiki … .
Youko hovered there like a ghost, unable to move as she watched the commotion play out before her.
"Like, everybody knows she dyed her hair."
"Didn't she say it was her natural color?"
"There's no way! I mean, nobody's hair naturally turns that color."
"But I heard she left her backpack and coat in the classroom."
"Yeah, what was that about?"
"It was yesterday morning, somebody said that Moritsuka found them."
"But she ran off with that guy, didn't she? And with just the clothes on her back!"
"Don't be stupid. But if she didn't run away, then that means she just up and disappeared."
"Scary … . "
"Sooner or later, we're going to see those posters up at the train station."
"Stuff up on billboards, her mom walking around handing out flyers."
"Like, have you seen this girl? That kind of thing."
"Hey, you guys are getting way carried away with this."
"Yeah, it's got nothing to do with us."
"She ran away from home, that's all."
"That's right. It's only when it happens to an honor student that everybody gets all bent out of shape."
"She took off with her boyfriend. Nobody wants to admit it, but when a girl falls for a guy like that, nothing she does is going to make any sense at all."
"That's harsh. You were friends with her, weren't you?"
"I never did much more than talk to her. To tell the truth, I didn't like her that much."
"I know. It was always like she was better than the rest of us."
"Definitely."
"I heard her parents were super strict, always on about how she was supposed to be a 'young lady.'"
"That's what I'm saying. But it sure was useful, her always getting her homework done on time."
"True, true. Fact is, I haven't even touched today's math assignment."
"Hey, me, neither"
"Didn't anybody?"
"Nobody besides Nakajima."
"Youko, come back, please!"
Bright laughter gushed forth. At once the fraternal scene before her blurred, grew dim. The images bent and distorted, the figures dissolved away. Then in a twinkle vanished. The light went out and all that was left was the blade of the sword.
4-6
Youko lowered the sword, now painfully heavy in her hand. She had known all along, deep in her heart, that those she called her friends were not her friends at all.
For a brief moment of their lives they had been stuck together, shut up cheek by jowl in a little cage. Next year they would end up in different homerooms and forget about each other. After they graduated they would probably never meet again.
Even so, the tears welled up.
She knew these relationships were temporary at best. Yet, and perhaps all the more so, she had hoped to discover some greater truth hidden inside. She wished she could fly back to that classroom, plead her case before them. How would they respond then, she wondered.
They were living far from here in a peaceful country, young women who undoubtedly believed they experienced much misery and woe in their lives. Once upon a time, the same had been true of her.
The thought made Youko laugh so hard she ended up rolling around on the ground clutching her stomach. Curled up like that in a fetal position, it struck her that she was alone, truly alone, totally cut off from the rest of the world.
When she fought with her parents, when she had a falling out with her friends, or when she simply felt down for a spell and told herself how lonely she was, hadn't that been little more than an indulgence? She had a home to go home to, people who would not turn against her at the drop of a hat, who would console her. And if all that went away she could make more friends soon enough, even if they were only fair-weather friends.
Just then she heard the sound of a voice that, as many times as she had heard it, she still could not stand. Curled up on the ground she grimaced.
"You can't go back, I keep telling you."
"I don't want to hear it."
"But as long as you are thinking about it, shall we consider the substance of your hypothetical? Even supposing you could go back, nobody would be waiting for you. You simply are not a person worth waiting for."
In some way, the monkey's appearances were connected to the visions she saw in the sword. The blue monkey always showed up immediately after she saw a vision. It never did her any physical harm. It's just that he never said anything she wanted to hear, and in that grating tone of voice. Moreover, Jouyuu did not react to him in the slightest.
"My mother is!"
There came to her mind the image from another vision of her mother petting the stuffed doll. Even if she could not call her friends real friends, she could count on her mother to stand by her. A sudden welling up of homesickness made her chest hurt.
"My mom was crying for me. That's why, someday, I know I'm going home."
The monkey laughed all the harder. "But of course. She's your mother, after all. It's always so sad for a parent to lose a child.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Youko raised her head above the underbrush. There was the monkey's head, bathed in blue light, close enough to touch with her outstretched arm.
"Oh, she's not sad because you have gone missing, little girl. She's sad because her child is gone. Her sorrow amounts to nothing more than that. Can you not even understand this much?"
It was like getting hit in the stomach. Youko couldn't think of how to respond.
"If, for example, the child in question were not you--were perhaps the black sheep of the family--she would react the same. That is the kind of creatures mothers are."
"Enough."
"Oh, now don't you go giving me those angry looks. I tell you nothing but God's honest truth." The monkey howled with laughter, laughter that resounded brightly in ear-piercing shrieks. "It's the same as any domesticated animal. You raise the creature and it gets attached to you, now, doesn't it?"
"Shut up!" She sprang to her feet, brandishing the sword.
"Oh, I'm scared, I'm scared." The monkey went on laughing. "You miss your parents, don't you? Even parents like yours."
"I'm not listening."
"I understand, little girl. There's no place like home, there's no place like home. Not that you're absolutely dying to see your parents again. What you want to go back to is a warm house and your playmates."