Over and over she looked up at the sky in supplication, waiting for the dawn. The night had always passed quickly while she was fighting, but on this night in particular, her enemies coming at her in an endless torrent, it went on fearfully long. Over and over she dropped the sword and was covered in wounds before she could retrieve it. About the time when she finally saw the first signs of daybreak, she also saw the silhouette of one of the white trees.
Youko rolled under the branches of the tree. The hard trunk bruised her back. But that sense of being pursued ceased. Beneath the branches, as she collected her breath, she knew they were still out there, waiting. After a while they slipped away into the rain.
The sky brightened. Her enemies vanished. She began to make out the outlines of a surrounding grove of trees.
"I made it."
She took a deep breath. Raindrops fell into her mouth.
"I actually made it."
She paid no mind to her throbbing, mud-grouted wounds. She lay down, caught her breath, looked up at the sky through the white branches of the tree and waited for the gray day to come. As her breathing steadied she became quite cold. The branches did not stop the rain. She needed to slip away from here and find shelter from the rain, but she didn't move.
She desperately clutched the jewel as if to store up more of the strange energy that warmed her fingertips. Exerting great effort, she rolled over and crawled out from under the tree and dragged her body towards the lower part of the slope. Crawling over the wet grass and ground was not difficult.
She had tried her best to stay to the road, but in the middle of the night, driven on by her foes, she couldn't begin to imagine how deeply into the mountains she had wandered.
Clinging to the jewel and to the sword, she stood up.
She was well aware of her injuries. She understood the nature of the severe pain she was feeling. Still, she could not say exactly where she hurt. With each step she braced herself to keep her knee from buckling.
Half-crawling, she descended the slope and came upon a narrow trail. It didn't look like the main road. She saw no ruts or wheel marks. It was hardly wide enough for a horse cart to pass. This was the end of the line. Sinking to her knees, she dug her fingers into the bark of a tree to support herself but her hands were of little use to her.
She had been headed towards the wrong road all along. And now she couldn't move another inch.
She held the jewel tightly in her hands. It brought forth no warmth or comfort. Whatever energy they could supply her with, more was washed away by the rain. The jewel had reached the limits of its miraculous powers.
So this is where I die, she thought, and laughed.
Among all her classmates, Youko alone would die the beggar's death. They belonged to a different world. They would always have homes to return to, families who would protect them, futures sure to be free of want or hunger.
She had done the best she could. This was it. She didn't want to give up, but no matter how she tried she couldn't raise a finger. She had endured to the end, and if an easy death were her reward, she supposed she could find some value in the struggle.
Mingled in with the sound of the rain there sounded a clear, high tone. She raised her eyes. The faint light was shining out of the sword lying next to her cheek. From where her head was resting on the ground, she couldn't see the sword itself, but she could see the faint images rising up in the mist from the pounding rain.
And Youko Nakajima? a man's voice asked.
The vice-principal was sitting there. She couldn't make out where he was.
"Youko was a kind and diligent student. At least as far as her teachers are concerned, she was the most agreeable of all our students."
The vice-principal was speaking to somebody. She could hear the interlocutor's voice. It sounded like the voice of a big man.
"You ever hear anything about her getting messed up with the wrong crowd?"
"I wouldn't know."
"You wouldn't know?"
The vice-principal shrugged. "Youko was the model of a perfect student. There was never any reason to question what kind of life she was living or whether she ever strayed from the straight and narrow."
"A strange boy showed up at your school, isn't that right?"
"Yes, but my impression was that he wasn't an acquaintance of hers. But the truth of the matter is, I just don't know. It always seemed like there were aspects of her character that were a closed book to the rest of us."
"A closed book?"
The vice-principal's answer was accompanied by a sullen expression. "That's not quite what I meant. Let me put it another way. Youko was an honor student. She was on good terms with her classmates as well as with her parents, or so I've heard. But that's simply not possible."
"Not possible?"
"I may be out of line saying this, but teachers will see things in whatever light favors themselves. Friends do the same. Parents tell you only what's convenient for them to tell you. They all fashion their own image of the student and try to impose it on everybody else. Now, the opinions of these three parties are never going to agree. A student trying to meet all the expectations of his teachers and parents would find it intolerable. A good kid to you or me won't be to somebody else. What it comes down to is, in being all things to all people, Youko never got close to anybody, either. It might have been a convenient way to play things, but I suspect it never amounted to much more than a convenience."
"And how about yourself?"
The vice-principal frowned. "I'm talking about your gut type of reaction, okay? But for most teachers, the few hard-to-handle students--the ones you keep your eye on--they're the ones you find endearing, memorable. I always thought Youko was a good student, but I'd probably forget all about her the day after graduation. And at a ten-year reunion, I wouldn't have the slightest idea who she was."
"Of course."
"Whether Youko acted this way on purpose, or whether it was the result of her simply trying to do the right thing, I don't know. If it was done with deliberation, I can't imagine what she was trying to hide. And if not, once she realized what she was doing, at some point it must have struck her as an awfully empty way to live. Wondering what she was doing with her life, seeing it all as meaningless, I don't think that would have been unusual at all for her to just want to disappear."
Youko stared with amazement at the vice-principal. The image faded. In his place a girl appeared, a student, one of Youko's closer friends.
"I've heard you were one of Ms. Nakajima's best friends."
The girl flashed him a severe look. "Not really. We were never really that close."
"No?"
"Yeah. Sure, we talked now and then at school, but we never got together outside of school, never talked on the phone. That was true for most of us. That was about as much as we ever got to know about girls like her."
"I see."
"So, frankly, I really don't know anything about her. I don't have anything bad to say about her, either."
"Did you dislike her?"
"She wasn't particularly unlikeable, but she wasn't all that likeable, either. I got the feeling that, no matter what, she would always try to say the appropriate thing, you know? She wasn't interesting enough to actually dislike."
"You don't say."
It was another girl who came right out and said she didn't like her. "Youko, she was a little two-faced brown-noser."
"Two-faced?"
"Yeah. Like, you know, sometimes you badmouth somebody? If she was there, she'd nod and say, like, yeah, me too. But when somebody else was badmouthing us, she'd do the same thing. Always kissing up to whoever she was with. That's why I couldn't stand her. There's no way a person like her has real friends. She was fine to complain to, though. She'd go along with whatever you said. That's about it."