Axel said nothing. Torgny dropped the log to the floor and folded his arms. With his head cocked he stared at Axel as if evaluating an incomprehensible art object.
‘I never would have believed it of you, Axel, that you were capable of acting like an ordinary human. I thought you were happy out here in the suburbs, with your elegant house and your old lady, your perfect kids and maid and all that. She really must have turned your head around.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘All the success, your reputation, you’ve got everything. I never would have thought you’d give up all that just because your bollocks twitched a bit.’
‘Why don’t you come out and say what you mean before we both freeze to death?’
Torgny snorted a humourless laugh and picked up another log.
‘So, when are you going to tell the family?’
Axel felt that his limit had been reached.
‘Tell them what? Say what? it is you want, because I’m going back inside.’
‘You’re going to have hell to pay, you know that? When she doesn’t take her medication it’s like she’s possessed by the Devil. Good luck is all I can say, I’m glad to be rid of that bit.’
Axel could no longer feel his feet. The more Torgny kept talking, the more he realised the conversation was going to be lengthy. He sized up the situation and decided.
‘I presume it’s that Halina or whatever her name is we’re talking about? You make it sound as though we were planning some sort of future together. I don’t know what you two are up to, or what she may have told you, but I’m completely sure I don’t have the slightest thing to do with any of this.’
What he said was not, strictly speaking, a lie, and the truth gave him courage. When he saw the confusion appear on Torgny’s face, he grew even more confident.
‘I find this situation incredibly unpleasant, and I wish you would explain to me once and for all why I’m standing in my woodshed about to freeze to death.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘You heard me.’
‘You mean you haven’t proposed to Halina?’
‘No, I certainly have not.’
Torgny was silent for a moment.
‘But you have a relationship?’
‘Good Lord, Torgny. No, we do not. If you promise to keep your voice to a normal level, we can go inside and talk some more.’
Torgny was lost in thought. Axel assumed that he was doing his best to re-examine the situation. When he spoke again he did so softly and deliberately.
‘If you’re lying to me, I swear I’m going to kill you the day I find out the truth.’
Axel swallowed. But his words would always carry more weight than those of a woman with mental health problems. No matter what sort of claims she tried to make.
‘What more do you want me to say? Come on, let’s go inside.’
‘No, I’m not going inside.’
Torgny closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his beard.
‘Christ, she said that you two had it off back in Västerås while I was asleep on the sofa.’
Axel said nothing.
‘Then she’s sick again, running around somewhere. She packed up her things and took off. She said you were going to meet each other somewhere. She’s been going on about you ever since we were at that Book Day event in Västerås, so I believed her. I should have known there was something wrong. The other day she imagined that she’d got some sort of message in the newspaper. She didn’t want to say what it was, but she was convinced it was for her. I tried to make sense of it but I couldn’t find anything.’
He shook his head slowly.
‘And she has the boy with her too.’
‘What boy?’
‘She has a son a few years old. He’s not mine or anything, but I’ve grown quite fond of him. She doesn’t treat him very well when she’s ill.’
Axel no longer had any feeling in his hands.
‘We have to go in before one of us catches pneumonia.’
‘Damn it, Axel, I think I should apologise for what I said in there. Can we go inside and I’ll explain. Then there won’t be any more trouble about this whole thing.’
Axel’s immediate instinct was to turn down the offer, but he realised it might solve all his problems. If Alice had heard what Torgny said, nothing Axel could say would help. On the other hand, she would surely listen to Torgny. And Gerda would be given proof of his innocence.
‘Actually I’d be grateful if you would.’
Gerda and Alice were sitting on the sofa in the living room. Gerda perched on the very edge after being persuaded to sit down. It was Axel who insisted that she be included. Axel sat in the armchair with a blanket draped over his lap, and Torgny stood before them and made his little speech. Deeply humiliated, he apologised for his behaviour, begging them to forget what they’d heard in his unforgivable outburst in the hall. Alice’s expression was inscrutable. Axel glanced at her occasionally but couldn’t work out how much she’d caught of the insults. Torgny stumbled on, fumbling unhappily for words that would make amends for overstepping the mark.
‘It was stupid of me. Now I see that I got everything back to front. I was stupid enough to believe what she said. Unfortunately she has problems with her nerves. She’s a wonderful woman, but the past haunts her sometimes, and she has been known to imagine things. I didn’t think it was true this time, but I’m ashamed to say I did come to believe her. I realise that I accused Axel with no justification whatsoever, and I sincerely beg his forgiveness.’
Torgny took a deep breath, and Axel could not help being impressed by his recapitulation. He knew how hard this was for him, to be forced to denigrate himself. A vein in his temple pulsated, revealing his inner turmoil.
Only now did Axel understand how strong Torgny’s love must be, since he was prepared to undergo this humiliation and still defend her. The depth he had never suspected in Torgny was suddenly exposed, the need for love from which all creativity issues.
Alice, who so far had been fidgeting restlessly, stood up.
‘If I’ve understood this correctly, right now a mentally ill woman is running around who is in love with Axel and thinks that they’re a couple. Is that right?’
‘She isn’t seriously ill, and I have no idea why she said this about Axel. Maybe it was simply to hurt me.’
‘Either way, I think we should call the police. I have absolutely no desire to sit here waiting for some madwoman to show up. Who knows what she’s capable of doing?’
Axel put a hand on Alice’s arm.
‘Now, now, calm down.’
‘There’s no need to call the police. She’ll probably be at home by the time I get back, and if not I promise to find her. You don’t have to be the least bit afraid. There’s a greater risk that she might injure herself.’
Alice sat back down.
‘But why Axel, in particular?’
Torgny shrugged.
‘Perhaps because we met him in Västerås, I don’t know.’
Alice turned to Axel.
‘So you have met her?’
‘Yes, we talked a bit during dinner, that’s all.’
Axel looked at Gerda. He realised at once he’d made a mistake. For the first time during the conversation she looked up and stared straight at him. He lowered his eyes, but the damage was done. From her expression he was clearly able to read what she was thinking, and it had nothing to do with what he’d said. He had given himself away with his anxious glance.
‘As I said, I simply want to apologise. I should probably go straight home and see whether she’s turned up.’
Gerda jumped up from the sofa and preceded Torgny out to the hall. Axel stood up to follow them, but Alice stopped him.
‘If I see any sign of that woman I’m going to call the police. What does she look like?’
‘Quite ordinary-looking, dark brown hair, average height. It’ll all work out, Alice, she obviously just needs to take her medication. When she takes it she’s apparently as normal as anyone else.’