His lips parted but nothing came out.
She cleared her throat. “I want a true commitment.” It made her feel a little dizzy to admit that but it was just nerves. The worst he could do was walk out. “Not just someone in my life when they can fit me into their busy schedule. I realize it’s a lot to ask. You would have to remain here instead of enjoying the more exciting adventures you must have with the task force. It’s also more dangerous working for them. You deal with the kind of men who came after me. They are bad and dangerous. That can’t be good for you to see that every day. We’re free now and should embrace the good things life has to offer. Maybe you enjoy the work but you enjoy sex too. Your team can’t give you that but I can.” Her hands gripped her hips. “I can’t compare work stories with you since I’m not permitted to hold a job as a Gift because it would put me in contact with too many men but I could give you a good home you would enjoy living in. I will worry about you while you’re doing your job. It matters to me what happens to you and while they may be your friends on the task force, what I feel is stronger. I’m sure of that.”
“Beauty… I—”
His features softened. He probably felt sorry for her. She refused to give up and cut him off. He couldn’t just walk away.
“I know we didn’t have much time together but I’m offering you all that I am. You can’t just ignore that, Shadow. You owe it to both of us to see where we lead. I think we could be happy. I know I want us to be. We’re both damaged but that makes us more suitable. There’s something special between us, something strong, and it’s not just sex.”
“I—”
“Don’t tell me you won’t at least consider what I’m offering. You have to stay at Homeland to get to know me better.” She took a shaky breath. “I won’t beg but I won’t be a doormat either. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t leave me here to go have a life but expect me to wait around for you as if I don’t have one.”
He lunged and jerked her against his body. “Do you ever allow a male to speak?”
She gripped his biceps through the material of his shirt, wishing for skin. “I don’t want you to say something I can’t stand to hear.”
He softly growled as one of his arms released her waist and he reached for something inside his back pocket. He held up a crisp, folded sheet of paper. “Do you know what this is?”
“No. Your orders to return to the task force?” It was her best guess.
He shook his head and then released her completely. He lowered to his knees in front of her. He licked his lips, his features tense. “Mate papers. I had it drawn up. We just need to sign it. It’s just one paper actually but it’s a less involved process to bind us together than the ones involving humans. The outside world holds no claim on us that they might ever try to sever.”
Her legs turned rubbery and she ended up on her knees in front of him.
“I packed up my belongings because there wasn’t a reason to keep a room at the men’s dorm. I want to be with you and you’re here.” He cleared his throat, staring deeply into her eyes. “I came to ask you to be my mate and tell you that if you agree, housing is being made available to us soon. We can have a house next to my best friend and his mate. She’s nice and I think she would be a good friend.” He took a deep breath. “I’m offering you everything too, love. Me. I don’t want adventure or to leave Homeland. You aren’t there and I just want to be with you.”
“Yes.” She nodded frantically, blinking back tears again.
“We are both damaged.” Shadow suddenly grinned. “I wouldn’t have it any other way if it means I get you.”
“You’ve got me.” She held out her hand. “Let’s sign them. Is that all we need to do?”
He grinned. “We should also have a lot of sex to celebrate afterward.”
She managed to rise to her feet and dropped the towel. Shadow’s gaze lowered, halting on her breasts. Sexual hunger sharpened his features and the soft growl of approval from him turned her on.
“Why wait? I want you now.” She smiled. “But there is one thing I want to do.”
He pulled his focus away from her body. “Name it. It’s yours.”
“Take off your uniform first.”
He put the paper on her coffee table and bent to rip off his boots. She grinned at his haste. He nearly fell over sideways at one point but then righted, shoving his pants down. He really did want her. The clothes were gone, leaving one aroused man standing just feet away.
She lowered to her knees again and he bent a knee to follow. “Don’t. Stay just like that.”
He straightened and held immobile. She walked on her knees closer. “I read about this and I wanted to try it. You can stop me if you don’t like it but at least allow me to do it once.”
Beauty reached up and wrapped her fingers around his stiff shaft. He gasped at the sudden move or perhaps the implication. She licked her lips to wet them and dropped her gaze to his sex. He was beautiful all over but his cock fascinated her.
“Maybe I should sit.” His voice came out gruff and husky.
She lifted her gaze, appreciating his muscular abs, wide chest, and settled on his handsome face. “Why?”
“You have no idea what the sight of you there does to me.”
“Tell me.”
“I’ve never wanted a female more. I hurt from the need. It’s a physical pain.”
“You do the same to me.”
“You know female Species never do this, don’t you? I can’t come with your mouth around me though. I might choke you. I shoot semen hard. It would be too much.”
“I just want to play a little. Will you allow it?”
“You can do anything you want. I’m yours.”
Emotion swamped her. “I love you, Shadow. I hope you’ll learn to love me back.”
He suddenly pulled out of her grasp and reached down, gripping her under her arms. It was her turn to gasp when he lifted her, spun and stormed into her bedroom. She clung to him.
“What are you—”
When they landed on the bed it jolted her to silence. They were on their sides facing each other. His mouth was on hers, kissing the breath right out of her a split second later. One of them moaned—she wasn’t sure who—and it didn’t matter. His hot skin plastered against hers felt incredible.
He broke the kiss, panting. “You love me?” His blue gaze studied hers. “You are sure?”
“Yes.”
“Good. You’ve made me very happy. I’ve never loved before but this has to be it. You are everything I want and need. You make me complete and having you in my arms is the most right thing in my world. Every thought involves you and how to keep you close.”
“I was afraid it would scare you away if I admitted my feelings.”
“The only frightening thing would be if you refused to sign the mate papers.”
“Do you want me to do that right now? Let me go and I’ll get them.”
“Later.” His mouth brushed hers. “There’re so many things I want to do to you. I can’t decide which should come first.”
“Roll onto your back.” She splayed her fingers across his chest, pushing lightly. “You said I could play. That is on the top of my list.”
He turned, lying flat. “I’ll be a good mate.”
“I know you will and so will I. We’ll figure it out together.”
Her hand brushed along the length of his cock, enthralled when it moved, jerking slightly. There was a lot about men she didn’t know but she’d learn. It would be fun to discover everything that turned Shadow on and have him do the same to her.
“I don’t read much but I have watched a lot of videos.” Shadow smiled. “Ever hear of sixty-nine?”
“The number?”
“The position.”
“Is that a sports thing?”
“Um, no.” He licked his lips. “You want to play with me with your mouth and I want to play with you with mine. You put your knees right here.” He pointed to just above his shoulders on both sides. “Face toward the headboard. Do you understand?”