Shadith leaned over, took both scrolls, looked down at them. The names were written on the outside. She handed Tinoopa her papers and sat holding her own.
Allina flattened her hands on the table. “Kizra Shaman, you’ve been working up to leaving us.”
Shadith gaped at her.
Allina shook her head, “My dear, you have forgotten how small a place this is. Everything is known. You might as well have shouted it from the roof.”
“Oh.”
“Yes.” Matja Allina touched her tongue to her lips. She started to speak, changed her mind. For several minutes there was no sound in the room but the whine of the wind outside and their own breathing. “Mingas…” she said finally.
Shadith nodded. “You told Ingva,” she said. “Stupid, malicious, a weak man, a bad man.” She thought a minute. “And ugly.”
“Yes. Utilas has been the heir, Pirs… was the… the beautiful one… the one everyone liked…” Allina closed her eyes, pressed her lips together. She shook off the weakness, went on, “Rintirry was the baby, spoiled, you saw him. Mingas was the accident. He was a son so he was adopted into the family, but the Artwa never bothered to marry his mother. I remember her… she was still alive when I married Pirs… “ A long shuddering sigh. “Now he’s got his chance. I know he’s talked Angakirs into appointing him Paji’s guardian. Otherwise it would be Utilas coming with the… with the body.”
“When he finds out you let Ingva go…” Tinoopa tapped the papers on the curve of her knee. “What can he do to you?”
“Whatever he wants. Oh, not legally, but who’s to see out here? And he has his guards with him, like the pair he brought with him to the Nameday.”
“Thugs.”
“Yes.”
“What about Yla?”
“As soon as I can, I’ll send her to fostering. He can’t stop that. She’s too young for marrying. While they’re still children, girls are the mother’s responsibility.”
“Will he marry you?”
“Not during my year of mourning. Not marriage.”
Shadith stirred. “Look, Matja, you don’t have to take this. You should get out of here. With Yla and Paji. You could come with me, or go to the Brush.”
Allina tapped her fingers on the table top, a curiously restrained expression of the passion Shadith felt seething in her. She shook her head. “No. This House, the land, they’re Paji’s birthright. I will not let that viper steal them from him.”
“A pillow over Paji’s face, that’s all it would take to clear title, isn’t that right?”
“Oh, yes.”
“You want us to guard him? If you can’t stop Mingas, how could we?”
“You couldn’t, Kizra Shaman.” She twisted her fingers together, stared past Shadith at the wall. “I will. I will do anything I have to.”
“Oh.”
Allina shivered, flattened her hands again. “I’m still the Matja here. Until tomorrow night. I can give the two of you what I choose to give. Kizra Shaman has chosen her way, what is yours, chapa Tinoopa?”
“I’ll wait here, thank you. I’m too old and fat. And citybred besides. I know from jits, not horses. Fall off and kill myself two kays out.” She looked thoughtfully at Matja Allina. “You want to be very careful or you’ll bring down the roof on you and the children.”
“What?”
“Something happens to Mingas, hmm, the Artwa doesn’t like you, thinks you’re uppity. I’ve run into that myself. Way things are here… how old’s Utilas’ son, or is he the next heir?”
“You have it. The oldest inherits unless he’s totally unfit and Rulas isn’t. He’s… a lot like Pirs. Reelyn is the second son; he’s a little younger than Rintirry was. I don’t know much about him… which is… good.”
“Right. Then Utilas won’t be wholly hostile to… um… say Fate for giving young… what was it?… Reelyn a break. That’s a plus. What’s he think of Mingas?”
“Detests him.”
“Another plus.” Tinoopa frowned at the roll of papers. She made a circle of thumb and forefinger, began sliding the roll back and forth through the round. She looked up. “Mind some blunt speaking?”
Matja Allina smiled wearily. “I haven’t so far, have I?”
“Do you want more children?”
Allina touched her fingers to her lips. A sudden wave of grief and pain and loss rolled out of her, filling the room like fog. Tinoopa didn’t see it, but Shadith was almost drowning in it. “No,” Allina whispered. “Pirs is dead. I’m an old, old woman. No.”
“Right. I got to talking with a circle of Brushie heal-women. During the Shearing, it was. You’ve some interesting herbs on this world, hmm, when you’re feeling more like talking business, I know a drug prospector who’d be interested, we could work out connections with the Pharmaceuticals, improve your credit line. We started out, the healwomen and me, talking about contraceptives and abortifacients. Subject of rape came up. Told me sometimes tumaks come looking for Brushie girls, drunk enough they’ll jump anything with a hole in it and it’s safer to meddle with Brushies, no blood feuds or private wars brewed up that way. If the Brushie girl’s family catches him, well, they find themselves a s’met colony, bury him up to his neck next to a mound, and smear his face with sugar syrup.” She smiled. Not a nice smile. “My youngest daughter, I lost her to a diaper salesman. That’s not what you think, he sells children to pedophiles. I never found him. I ever do, I’ll bring him back here. Well, that’s beside the point. Sometimes, the tumak gets away. Keeps getting away. Comes back time after time. The healwomen go round the Mirps and choose someone, a woman, maybe even a girl, someone who doesn’t want children and is willing to take a chance on being killed. They prepare her, stake her out for the Sekerak, that’s what they call him, though I suppose you know that. Sooner or later he takes the bait, does the deed. Before the month is out, he’s dead. The girl’s sick for a while, the ointment dries her up inside and the antidote turns her eyes yellow, but they say she doesn’t mind and afterward she’s fine. Sterile, but fine.”
Matja Allina contemplated the older woman for several moments. “If I were wise, I would say interesting but nothing to do with me. I’m sorry about your daughter, that’s true.”
Tinoopa shrugged, “It was a long time ago.”
“In some things, time has no meaning.”
“No.” Tinoopa drew her thumb along her jawline. “You’re wrong there, Matja. It does have meaning, what I’m saying is this: grief heals and rage cools.” She dropped her hands onto her thigh. “But you’re also right, hate doesn’t die, it just gets old and cold and harder than stones.”
“Yes.” Matja Allina got to her feet. “Kizra, you’ll have to leave by dawn tomorrow so you’ll be far enough away by the time Mingas arrives that it won’t be worth the danger going after you. I can supply you tonight. Afterward…” She shrugged. “It’s short notice, I’m afraid, but you were going anyway. So. Make a list, let me know what you’ll need.” She didn’t wait for an answer but turned to Tinoopa immediately. “I will take supper in my room. When Kizra’s list is ready, bring it to me. I’ll mark what I approve and authorize you to dispense the materials. Be careful around P’murr. He isn’t liking me much these days so he’ll do what he can to make problems for anything I try.”
8
A knocking. “Kizra?”
Shadith rolled out of bed, pulled the robe around her and crossed to the door. Yawning, she let Tinoopa in. “That time already?”
“Not quite. Cook’s got breakfast ready for you, some sandwiches for later, she’s waiting to give you a sendoff.”
Shadith ran her hands through her hair, scrubbed at her eyes. “Gods, does everybody know? Some sneak.”
“Sit down a minute. Want to ask you something.”
Shadith dropped on the end of the bed. “Huh?”
“The Mindwipe didn’t take, did it?”
“There were um complications the operator didn’t know about. Things came back to me.”
“And you know where you’re going, what you’re going to do, who you’re going to call?”
“Yeh.”
“I thought so. Catch.”
The sac landed in Shadith’s lap with a series of dull clunks. It was heavy. She loosened the drawstrings, pulled the neck open. Coins inside. She raised her brows.
“Incentive,” Tinoopa said. “I’m a thief, remember? What I’d like you to do, get word to my son where I am. Jao juhFeyn. He runs a tavern called Kipuny Shimmery on a world called Arumda’m. Iskalgun 9. Let him know where I am. All right?”
“Consider it done.”
“Thanks. The Matja authorized hot water. At least you can ride out feeling clean.”
“Tinoopa, this Mingas… he’s mean, maybe a bit crazy.”
Tinoopa waggled a hand. “He’s not going to live long enough to be much trouble. If the Matja doesn’t get him, I will.”
“All I can say is, I’m glad I’m going to be somewhere else.”
“Interesting times.” Tinoopa straightened. “The Lady bless, young Kiz.” She left.
Shadith cupped her hand under the sac, hefted it. “Well.”
The weight of it makes all this real. No more dreams, no more dithering. In a few hours I’m going. I’m really going.
She felt like throwing up.
Terror, that’s what it is. Sheer sick-making terror.
Swearing under her breath, her legs shaking, she stood, tossed the money sac into the knot of quilts, and went out.