Someone had left a plate of food for me on top of the clothes chest at the foot of my bed. Thanking whoever had the foresight to know I wouldn’t be up to facing the entirety of the resistance fighters and the emissaries from the Iron Wood, I ate sitting cross-legged on my bed. I was still exhausted, in that bone-deep, head-aching way that always followed overtaxing myself with magic. But recovering here, where there was magic in the air, was much quicker than recovering out in the vacuum outside.
The recovery was only superficial, though. I wouldn’t be able to recharge my magic unless I could harvest it from someone.
Then, with a rush, it came back to me—Nina. Parker and Marco had seen me siphon away her magic. They knew what I was, or at least what I was capable of. And by now they could’ve already told everyone.
I had to find Wesley and figure out a way to minimize the damage—some lie that would convince the resistance that I wasn’t dangerous. Either that, or some way for me to get out of here before it was too late. I already knew how these people felt about shadows—how would they feel about me? Whatever I was.
I lurched off the bed and reached for the door latch. I stumbled when it failed to give, my momentum carrying me forward and into the door, where I had expected it to open.
Blankly, I gave the latch another shake. Nothing. My heart froze. The door was locked from the outside.
Though I couldn’t be sure without any way to keep track, it felt like several hours before the clank of the lock alerted me to the presence of someone outside. I scrambled to my feet as the door swung open. It was Wesley.
My protests died on my lips when I saw his face. He looked grim and weary. “Come with me,” he said shortly. “The others want to talk to you.”“Nina?” I managed, heart pounding.
Wesley paused in the doorway, looking back at me. “She’s alive,” he said finally, making relief sing through me. “But she won’t wake up. Her body’s okay, but it’s like she’s just not in there.”My relief soured, stomach roiling. “What do the healers say?”
“They don’t know.” Wesley stepped aside, making room for me to slip past him into the hall. “They’ve never seen anything quite like it. Their best guess is that she’s in some sort of coma. There could be damage to her brain because she stopped breathing for a while.”
I swallowed as Wesley shut the door again behind me. My feet felt like lead. “Parker and Marco, they’re okay?”
He nodded but didn’t say anything else, turning to lead the way toward the War Room. He didn’t speak again until we were just outside the doors. I could feel Renewables in there— I thought I detected the particular signatures of Parker and Marco, but I was still tired and not completely sure.
“Lark,” said Wesley in a low voice, “it’s time for you to tell the truth now. I can’t lie for you, not when there are witnesses. And if we’re being completely honest, I’m not sure I want to lie for you now.”
“Were you close to Nina?” I whispered.
His expression flickered briefly, but I couldn’t identify the emotion that passed through it. “We’re all close to each other here. This is our family. But that’s not why. You’re dangerous, and it was irresponsible of me to keep that danger from the others. No matter how valuable that power of yours might be.”
I kept my eyes on the door, fighting back when my sight started to blur. I wasn’t going to cry, even faced with losing one of my only allies. This was, after all, what I deserved. Like Oren, I was a monster hiding in plain sight. But unlike him, I never stopped being myself, even when I killed.
“For what it’s worth,” Wesley added, softer still, “I think you may have made the right choice. From what I’ve put together from Parker and Marco, and the leader of the group that you rescued, you’d all have died if you hadn’t gotten that door open.”
He reached for the handle of the door, but paused before opening it. “And I think they’ll probably still want to use you, because even more now, you’re the best weapon we’ve got. I’m just not sure they’re ever going to trust you.”
Wesley left me swallowing the lump in my throat and pushed the doors open, leading the way into the War Room. I recognized Dorian and a couple of other Renewables from the Iron Wood there, clustered in a group. Parker and Marco were there too, and both of them snapped their heads up when I entered, their gazes dark and unreadable as they fell on me. The others were no different, watching me with wary suspicion.
As if it could smell their fear, the shadow inside me stirred sluggishly. I could feel it flickering as though scenting the air, tasting each golden beacon of power in the gathered Renewables. I shoved it back down with a shudder, drawing my shoulders back and lifting my chin.
Good, then. If they were afraid, well, they should be. Wesley was right. It was time to stop hiding what I was. “I’m from a city south of here,” I began. “Where there are no Renewables. There isn’t anyone with this ability there, either. I think my brother may have been like me, but he’s gone now. As far as I know, I’m the only one.”
“And what are you?” That was Parker, who hadn’t moved from the back of the room. His shoulder blades pressed back against the wall, as if he half-wished he could retreat further.
“I don’t know,” I replied simply.
I told them about the experiments the architects had run at the Institute and how my brother and I were the only ones to survive the process. How they’d turned us into something that looked, on the surface, like a Renewable, so that we’d be able to survive beyond the Wall. How my brother had made it this far, only to get captured once Prometheus started rounding up Renewables. I told them about the Iron Wood and how it was only when I’d used the last of the power the Institute gave me that I discovered the emptiness inside me and the way it could absorb the power in others.
I didn’t tell them about Oren, though. If I was going to be branded a monster, it made no sense for us to both be outcast. As long as Oren stayed below ground, he was safe, and he’d never become a shadow again. He might as well be able to live free.
“I never wanted to hurt Nina, or anyone else.” My voice was growing hoarse, and I had to clear my throat several times before I could go on. “If you want me to leave, I’ll go. Take the route we found up to the surface and never come back. But not before I find a way into Central Processing to save my friend, and avenge my brother—and get rid of Prometheus. I’ve been tortured the way he tortures Renewables. I’m not letting it happen to anybody else. I’ll go by myself if I have to.”
I fell silent. Under the weight of all their stares, I could feel myself starting to sweat in the warm damp that pervaded Lethe. My muscles were still stiff and sore, and my arm arched. I longed to sit in one of the empty chairs at the edge of the table closest to me, but I knew I couldn’t.
I’d go alone into Central Processing if I had to, but if I wanted any chance of reaching Prometheus before the Eagles overwhelmed me, I was going to need help. I thought of Oren and the way he always stood when hissing orders at me in the wilderness—strong, tall, sure. Competent. I willed the Renewables in the room to see that in me. My plan was a good one, and that I was something new and different didn’t change that. If anything, it gave us the edge we’d need to win.
“Do you have anything else to add?” asked Parker. He sounded tired too. One of his hands was bandaged, but he seemed otherwise unhurt—on the outside, anyway. He was gazing at the table in front of me and not meeting my eyes.
I swallowed. “No.”
“Then Marco will escort you back to your quarters, where you will stay until we’ve made a decision about what to do with you.”