And although she tried not to meet their eyes, the first folk she passed on her way to the gate did look her over slowly and mistrustfully, but she realized after a moment that this man and woman were doing so only because most of the other travelers were dressed and clean for market: Briony was a dirty stranger, not a typical stranger.
“The Three grant you good day,” said the woman. She held her gape-mouthed child tightly, as though Briony might steal it. “And a blessed Orphanstide to you, too.”
“And you.” The greeting startled her—Briony had almost forgotten the holidays, since it had been on Winter’s Eve that her world had fallen completely into pieces. There certainly hadn’t been any new year’s feasting or gifts for her, and now it must be only a tennight or so until Kerneia. How strange, to have lost not just a home but an entire life!
She did not turn to watch the man and woman after they passed, but she knew that they had turned to look at her, doubtless wondering what kind of odd thing she was.
Go ahead and whisper about me, then. You cannot imagine anything near so strange as the truth.
Worried about attracting any kind of attention at all, she decided not to continue to the market, but passed through the gate and briefly into the bustle of the crowd on the main thoroughfare before turning down a narrow side street. She stopped at the first ramshackle house where she saw someone out in front—a woman wrapped in a heavy wool blanket scattering corn on the puddled ground, the chickens bustling about at her feet as though she were their mother hen.
The householder at first seemed suspicious, but when she saw the silver piece and heard Briony’s invented story of a mother and younger brother out on the coast road, both ill, she bit her lip in thought, then nodded. She went into her tall house, which crowded against its neighbors on either side as if they were choristers sharing a small bench, but conspicuously did not ask Briony to follow her. After some time she reappeared with a hunk of hard cheese, a half a loaf of bread, and four eggs, not to mention several children trying to squeeze past her wide hips to get a look at Briony. It didn’t seem a lot of food, even for a shaved fingerling, but she had to admit that what she knew about money had to do with much larger quantities, and the prices with which she was familiar were more likely to be the accounts for feeding an entire garrison of guards. She stared at the woman for a moment, wondering whether she was being dealt with honestly, and realized this was perhaps the first person she had ever met in her life who had no idea of who she was, the first person who (as far as this woman knew) owed her nothing in the way of respect or allegiance. Briony was further shocked to realize that this drab creature draggled with children, this brood-mother with red, windbitten face and mistrust still lurking in her eyes, was not many years older than Briony herself. Chastened, she thanked the young woman and wished her the blessing of the Three, then headed back toward the gate and the place outside the walls where Shaso waited.
And, it suddenly came to her, not only had no one recognized her, it was unlikely anyone would, unless they were Hendon’s troops and they were already looking for her: in all of Marrinswalk only a few dozen people would know her face even were she wearing full court dress—a few nobles, a merchant or two who had come to Southmarch Castle to curry favor. Here in the countryside she was a ghost: since she could not be Briony, she was no one.
It was a feeling as humbling as it was reassuring.
Briony and Shaso ate enough cheese and bread to feel strengthened, then they began to walk again. As the day wore on they followed the line of the coast, which was sometimes only a stone’s throw away, other times invisible and completely absent but for the rumble of the surf. The valley walls and trees protected them from the worst of the chilly wind. They slipped off the road when they heard large traveling parties coming and kept their heads down when they couldn’t avoid passing others on the road.
“How far to Oscastle?” she asked Shaso as they sat resting. They had just finished scrambling up a wet, slippery hillside to go around a fallen tree that blocked the road and it had tired them both.
“Three days or more,” Shaso said. “But we are not going there.”
“But Lawren, the old Earl of Marrinscrest, lives there, and he would...”
“Would certainly find it hard to keep a secret of your presence, yes.” The old man rubbed his weathered face. “I am glad to see you are beginning to think carefully.” He scowled. “By the Great Mother, I cannot believe I am so tired. Some evil spirit is riding me like a donkey.” “The evil spirit is me,” Briony said. “I was the one who kept you locked up for all that time—no wonder you are tired and ill.”
He turned away and spat. “You did what you had to do, Briony Eddon. And, unlike your brother, you wished to believe I was innocent of Kendrick’s murder.”
“Barrick thought he was doing what had to be done, too.” A flood of pain and loneliness swept through her, so powerful that for a moment it took her breath away. “Oh, I don’t want to talk about him,” she said at last. “If we’re not going to Oscastle, where are we going?”
“LandersPort.” He levered himself up to his feet, showing little of his old murderous grace or speed. “A grand name for a town that never saw King Lander at all, but only one of his ships, which foundered off the coast on the way back from Coldgray Moor.” Shaso almost smiled. “A fishing town and not much more, but it will suit our needs nicely, as you will see.”
“How do you know all this about Lander’s ships and Coldgray Moor?”
His smile disappeared. “The greatest battle in the history of the north? And me master of arms for Southmarch? If I did not know any history, then you would have had a reason to hang me in irons in the stronghold, child.”
Briony knew when it was a good time to hold her tongue, but she did not always do what was best. “I only asked. And merry Orphanstide to you, too. Did you enjoy your breakfast?”
Shaso shook his head. “I am old and my limbs are sore.
Forgive me.”
Now he had managed to make her feel bad again. In his own way, he was as difficult to argue with as her father could be. And that thought brought another pang of loneliness.
“Forgiven,” was all she said.
By late afternoon, with Kinemarket far behind them and the smell of smoke rising from the cottages they passed, Briony was hungry again. They had sucked the meat from the eggs long before, but Shaso had kept back half the bread and cheese for later and she was finding it hard to think about anything except eating. The only rival to food was imagining what it would be like to crawl under the warm, heavy counterpane of her bed back home, and lie there listening to the very wind and rain that were now making her day so miserable. She wondered where they were going to sleep that night, and whether Shaso was saving the last rind of the cheese for their dinner. Cold cheer that would make.
Look at me! I am a pampered child, she scolded herself. Think of Barrick, wherever he is, on a cold battlefield, or worse. Think of Father in a stone dungeon. And look at Shaso. Three days ago, he was in chains, starving, bleeding from his iron manacles. Now he is exiled because of me, walking by my side, and he is forty years or more my elder!
All of which only made her more miserable.
The path they had been following for so long, which had never been anything more than a beaten track, now widened a bit and began to turn away from the coast. The cottages now were so thickly set that they were clearly approaching another large village or town—she could see the life of the place even at twilight, the men coming back from the rainy fields in their woolen jackets, each one carrying some wood for the fire, women calling the children in, older boys and girls herding sheep to their paddocks. Everyone seemed to have a place, all under the gods’ careful order, homes and lives that, however humble, made sense. For a moment Briony thought she might burst into tears.