‘My mum’s here!’ she whispers.
21
We trudge through the garden in silence. I cannot imagine what we’re going to find inside. Zara hasn’t said that much about her mum before – I have no clue how she might handle ghost Nan . . . or Peg, for that matter. Will she just be standing in an empty kitchen? Will Peg be a bird, or a lizard? Will Nan even be there?
‘How did she find the house?’ I ask.
‘Oh, I told her you lived on the edge of the forest. She’s probably tried every one,’ Zara says. ‘I should’ve sent another text – I forgot.’
‘Well come on, then,’ I say. ‘She’s here now; we’d better go in and face the music.’
I push open the back door, wincing as all the bells ring out, and tread lightly into the kitchen, where Nan is pouring tea, a sweet little red bird on one shoulder. A woman with Zara’s golden eyes and brown skin sits across from her and looks up as Zara follows me in.
‘Ah!’ she says. ‘Here they are!’
She smiles, but there’s worry in her eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ begins Zara, fluttering about beside me. ‘We were—’
‘I’ve already explained to your mother,’ Nan interrupts smoothly, gesturing for us all to take a seat. ‘Fishing at twilight is rather special – though I note you didn’t catch anything.’
‘They weren’t biting,’ I say, sliding into a chair and plucking a yellow pear out of the fruit bowl. ‘I’m sorry we worried you, Mrs Nassar.’ I gleam at her, and her eyes soften, though she looks rather bemused. ‘The forest is so beautiful, and we lost track of time . . .’
‘You both look very cold,’ Nan says after a long moment. ‘Have some tea . . .’ She indicates for me to pour, and my hands are shaking, but I just about manage it without scalding us all.
‘It has been a pleasure to meet your nan, Stella. And I’m glad that Zara has found new friends,’ says Mrs Nassar. ‘But next time, Zara, a little more information, please – and answer your phone! It would have saved me some worry. You have a charming home, Mrs Brigg.’
‘Thank you,’ says Nan. ‘Rather old and dilapidated, much like me, but it serves us well.’
Peg the bird flutters from Nan’s shoulder to mine as I reach for a handful of berries, and he pecks at me until I feed him some.
‘And such a sweet bird!’ Mrs Nassar says. ‘Really, the whole place is somewhat enchanting.’
A rather awkward silence falls over the room, until Teacake, who has been sitting in my lap, decides to make a break for the jug of milk, which tips and spills across the table.
‘Teacake!’ I yelp, grabbing a cloth and swabbing at the milk before it reaches Mrs Nassar.
She jumps up, and after a startled moment watching Peg take flight around the room, while I slap at the table with my cloth, and Teacake scurries around trying to drink as much of the spilled milk as possible, she claps her hands together.
‘Time for home, Zara!’ she says brightly, picking up her bag.
There is no messing with that voice. Peg lands neatly on the mantelpiece, Teacake sits with her tail wrapped around her paws, a perfect picture of kittenish goodness, and Nan flaps her hands at us with a shake of her head. I note she’s getting thin already – it must have taken all her strength to make tea and conversation. I blow her a kiss, and we trail after Mrs Nassar to the front door, calling out our farewells and smoothing down our clothes.
I take a long time saying goodbye to Zara and her mother, but in the end, the car is gone, and I cannot delay the inevitable any longer. It’s time to have that talk Nan promised so sternly earlier.
‘What a day you’ve had,’ Nan says, just about visible as I settle opposite her, Teacake back on my lap in seconds.
I nod. I don’t even know where to start.
‘How is Yanny?’
‘He’s OK. Back at home. Thanks for letting me go—’
‘Tell me about it?’ she asks, and she looks completely uncertain, in an utterly un-Nan-like way, and not very angry at all, so I do. I don’t hold back anything; I just let it all come out. Peg whistles when I get to the end, but Nan doesn’t look impressed at all.
‘So now you know,’ she says eventually. ‘You’ve seen what it’s like – what I’ve been trying to protect you from.’
‘But they’re all in danger, Nan.’
‘And what do you plan on doing about it?’ she asks with a sigh.
‘I’m going to search for the palace,’ I say.
‘I thought I had more time,’ she says. ‘To train you, to teach you of the dangers.’
‘All you’ve ever done is teach me of dangers! What about the good bits? The magic, and the families in there who are helping each other every day?’
‘When I returned to care for you, I swore I’d keep you away from the forest until you were grown,’ she says, staring into the fire.
‘And now I am.’
‘So show me.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Undo the glamour I put upon you. If you are ready, you’ll be able to.’
Her eyes shine in the firelight. Peg watches, and so does Teacake, whom I’ve placed on the floor beside me. But no matter how deep I dig, what words I mutter, how much I want this right now, there is no shift in me. I remember how I glamoured Yanny, and I try to find the edges of what she’s done to hide me, but nothing shifts.
Nothing changes at all.
‘Nan!’ I burst out eventually, stars in my eyes, infuriated with her and all the world.
‘There is great power in you, Stella,’ she says. ‘You can do this, in time. Your parents and mine were part of the longest period of peace Winterspell has ever known. It was a golden time; we did not know how lucky we were. There was food, and there was laughter. There was the palace, where the fae danced and where nothing was impossible. Many fae forests have disappeared; many destroyed. Many fight for their existence daily . . .’ She shakes her head sadly.
‘But our forest is one of the greats; one of the oldest. It was protected by man, and so it thrived. It is still protected, from man’s interventions. But what you fight is far wilder. Your father’s heart is twisted, and his eyes see only darkness. His shadows have spread through the trees, and you have seen for yourself, they are still destroying the forest now. They take the light, and the energy. They are a curse, and that is why your friend’s wings are the way they are. Because of the curse the Shadow King laid upon Winterspell when he retreated into the palace and let his shadow stag run free. You cannot fight that, until you are all that you can be.’
I sit on the bench by the fire. Peg makes more tea in tinkling cups, and Teacake bounces back into my lap again, curling up with a wide, toothy yawn. Nan watches me.
‘Rory said I was full of darkness, that I drew the shadows . . .’
Nan is silent for a moment. ‘You are not full of darkness. You are the opposite, and that is what attracts the shadows. Whatever we may feel, Stella, there can be no darkness without light, and no light without shade.’
‘Why can’t he see that? Why does he let this happen, Nan?’
‘He is lost,’ she says, her voice barely more than a whisper. ‘The fae king who was your father is gone, Stella. I am so sorry. I wish it weren’t so. I wish I could tell you that you can help him, but you must not go in there hoping for such. When you go in there, it must be with one thought only: to wrest the power from him, to undo the curse, and send the shadows away.’