A teal-blue Jeep.
After I park my bike and dismount, I take a quick peek at my watch and see it’s closing in on six PM, which is exactly when Casey’s shift ended the other night. Part of me considers leaving, staying away for a bit, and giving Casey a chance to leave the bar. Another part of me wants to see her immediately… like right now, to prove to myself that I can give her a glance and not need anything further from her.
And the slightly vindictive part of me… that small part inside of me that actually might be filled with some measure of womanly estrogen, hell bent on making someone jealous, wants to head inside with Mallory on my arm and let Casey Markham know that she’s as easily forgotten as I was the other night.
I contemplate my options while Jenny and Mallory exit the car that’s parked beside our bikes.
Thirty seconds later, I’m walking through the bar with my arm around Mallory’s waist.
Chapter 7
Casey
I stare out at the crowd listlessly. It’s pretty packed for a Wednesday night, but then again, the summer season is upon us and it will only continue to get busier while the months get hotter.
“Can I get another beer, Casey?” Roy asks as he slides a five-dollar bill toward me.
“Sure thing,” I say absently and trudge over to the taps. Pouring the beer, I watch the foam head rise as the golden ale swirls below, round and round, stuck in the same place. I realize my life can be boiled down to this moment… to watching the futility of ale stagnating while foam rises.
Turning the tap off, I slide the beer over to Roy. He gives me a toothless smile and says, “Why so sad, Casey? Had your heart broken?”
I snort and shake my head at him. “Gotta have a heart to break, Roy. I don’t think I have one of those.”
Before he can lay any pearls of wisdom at my feet, I turn away and meander over to the register. The clock on the digital display says I can get out of here in five more minutes and then I can go home, put on my rattiest of pajamas, and crawl into bed like I have every night for the past four nights, where I can stare out my window and reflect on how fucked up I’m feeling.
Over Tenn.
Over that amazingly gorgeous biker who smiles like a saint and fucks like the devil.
For all I know, he’s not even around anymore. And let’s face it… I don’t know much. I only know that I gave in to my base desires to have the man, and then he systematically managed to dismantle me in just a few hours’ time.
God… the man made me come again… for the fifth time with just a few hard strokes inside of me and even as I was coming down off my high, I knew I wanted him again and again. He pulled up on my hips, practically lifting my feet from the floor as his entire body lurched into me over and over again, hitting me so deep… hitting me in such a remote place, that I knew I’d never be the same again.
When he came, he did it with the force of a hurricane, throwing his head back and roaring out his release. The noise… the noise of his pleasure struck at me hard, because never in all my sexual years have I heard a man orgasm like that. I literally felt his release in my ears, and I stared at his reflection in wonder of it all.
When he leaned over me and wrapped his arms around my chest, pulling me up straight so he could hug me from behind, all while his cock was still hard within me, I felt something within me crack. And then he laid his chin on my shoulder and whispered, “Christ, Goldie. I’m ruined.”
His voice was so soft… so full of contentment… replete with peace, that a wave of arctic coldness rushed through me and I put my mental walls up immediately. I pulled out of his embrace, mumbled about needing to use the bathroom, and then paced back and forth across the floor while I repeated to myself, Stay away from him, Casey. He’s dangerous.
So I cut him off at the knees. I was cruel, aloof, and I told him I was done with him, even as my heart screamed at me that I was the most stupid bitch ever to walk the face of the earth.
I left his hotel and sat down on the curb, trying to compose myself before I called Gabby. I hadn’t called her like I had told him, but rather told that lie so I wouldn’t have to ride on his bike back to my Jeep. I knew if I touched him again, I’d give in. I’d relent to his magnetic pull.
And for the first time since I was eighteen, I sat on that curb and I let tears caused by a man fall from my eyes. I went ahead and let myself mourn for something that I knew I wanted but was too afraid to take. I let it out and when my tears dried, I reminded myself that it was better this way. That this tiny bit of longing and hurt would serve as a reminder of why it could never go any further. I reminded myself that I did what I did for protection. I did it to keep my heart safe.
And so, I plugged along, day after day, continually thinking of my time with Tenn but refusing to let myself wonder what could have been if I had stuck around. I put my friends off, missing out on my weekly Monday breakfast meeting with my girls, Gabby, Alyssa, Savannah and Andrea, claiming a nonexistent sinus infection had kept me in bed. I declined a dinner invitation from Brody one night and then another dinner invitation over to my parents the following night.
I wanted to be left alone.
Alone is what I did best.
“Got big plans tonight?” Kent says from behind me, and I turn to see him stepping behind the bar.
I give a slight shake to my head and offer up a tiny smile. “A frozen pizza and a Monk marathon sound big?”
“Sounds interesting,” he conceded, and then walked up to the register to begin his nightly ritual.
I turn, grab a rag from the bar, and bend over the sink to wash it out. A generous wiping down of the wooden bar top and I can head home.
“We need a few beers, Casey,” I hear from directly on the other side of the bar, and my shoulders tense over that rich, rumbling sound that I know comes from one sexy-as-sin biker.
My head slowly lifts up and Tenn stands there, a genial smile on his face. Immediate warmth floods through me, relief that he’s still around, and happiness that he’s standing here in front of me, and then comes lust and desire as I look at his pale blue eyes staring at me in interest.
“What do you want?” I ask with a wink, hoping he catches my double entendre, and just that easy, I’ve thrown out every bit of resolve and common sense where Tenn is concerned.
“Let me see,” he says, and then my stomach drops as he turns slightly away from me to reveal a pretty woman standing there with curly, brown hair and large, almond-shaped eyes of the same color. His hand reaches out and touches her shoulder, causing her to turn her head to him. “What do you want to drink, Mallory?”
Stupid fucking name… Mallory.
“A white wine spritzer,” she says, and then looks to the woman behind her. “Want the same, Jenny?”
The other woman, who is pretty in a haunted goth sort of way with straight, black hair that comes to her shoulders and several facial piercings, nods.
Kyle steps up beside Tenn and my head turns to him in surprise, and a bit of relief that Tenn isn’t here with two women. “We’ll take two Buds and two white wine spritzers,” he says as he reaches into his wallet. Then he inclines his head toward Tenn and says in a low voice, “And what the fuck is a white wine spritzer?”
Tenn doesn’t answer Kyle but turns his gaze to me, and if I’m not mistaken, looks at me expectantly. As if he wants a reaction from me.
“On a double date?” I ask, and then internally wince as I realize how catty my voice sounds.
He smiles big at me, his eyes crinkling with tiny laugh lines at the corner. His lips curve up in a smirk, and he says, “Yeah… something like that.”