I kind of thought Tenn would jump on me the minute we walked in. I didn’t expect him to ask me questions or look around with interest. I certainly didn’t expect him to mosey on out to the deck and check out the scenery by moonlight.
This is not good. This is all too friendly and intimate. It’s all just too much, especially after the way I prattled on to him at the diner… letting him in on a secret not one other person knows about me.
I feel itchy and tense and fuck… now my palms are sweating. I rub them furiously on the hem of my shorts and realize that I need to get this turned around. Quickly trotting over to my stereo, I put on some music and completely luck out with R. Kelly’s Bump N’ Grind.
Straightening up, I turn toward the back door and see Tenn standing just inside of it. I get a sinful pull of his lips upward as he gives a nod of his head toward the stereo. Sliding the door shut behind him, he says, “That’s some pretty sexy music you got on there, Goldie.”
Taking a deep breath, I let it out. I also let out all the warm and fuzzies I’ve been feeling for Tenn this evening. The friendship and bonding. I empty it all out and as I suck in a deep breath to replace it, I fill myself up with sensuality. I think about all the things Tenn has done to my body, and I let the need to feel it all again cram the void. I turn myself into the sexual creature that has sustained my need for touch by questing for an orgasm. I’m Casey Markham… the woman who only cares about physical pleasure, leaving the joys of the heart to other poor saps.
As Tenn takes a few steps into the living room, I start to prowl my way to him, sexily rolling my hips as I let my fingers flirt with the edges of my shorts. He comes to a stop and watches me, his eyes running down my body appraisingly. He even mimics my patented move—pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth while he imagines all the dirty things we’ll do to each other—and fuck… that’s really, really hot when he does that.
No wonder it works so well.
Stepping up to him, my fingers dip down into the waistband of his jeans. I crane my neck to look up at him and my breath never fails to get robbed by his sky blue eyes, those provocative lips, and that kick-ass goatee.
“Something occurred to me,” I tell him with a throaty purr.
“What’s that?” he asks, his eyes heating up over the promise in my voice.
“You bestowed all kinds of oral pleasure on me the other night, and I never even got to return the favor.” For good measure, I stick my lower lip out into a pout as my hands reach for his belt buckle. My head dips down but I raise my eyes up in coy flirtation, knowing my long lashes framing my eyes will look spectacular to him from that angle.
As I unhook his belt from the buckle, I lower my eyes to my task and whisper just loud enough for him to hear, “You have no idea the things I can do with this mouth.”
A low growl thunders in Tenn’s chest, and I smile inwardly. When I pull the black leather free from the loops, I look up at him directly as I drop the belt to the ground. “I bet Mallory—which is a stupid name by the way—could never suck you down the way I’m going to do it.”
Hot breath rushes out of Tenn’s mouth and gusts over the top of my head. My fingers deftly maneuver the top button of his jeans open but before I unzip him, I press my palm to his erection, pushing hard against the denim. “Oh, baby,” I murmur. “Trust me… this is going to be the best you’ve ever had.”
Tenn reaches a hand up, threads his fingers through my hair at my temple, and curls them around my head. “Wait a minute, Casey,” he murmurs, but surely he doesn’t mean it. There’s no way in hell he wants me to stop.
I pull his zipper down, peel the fly apart, and my mouth actually waters as I get a glimpse of the mushroomed head of his cock sticking up past the edge of his boxers. Odd… never had my mouth water to get a taste of a man before, but right now, saliva pools over my tongue.
“Be warned,” I say with a soft moan as my fingers graze over the tip. “I’ll bring you to your knees.”
“Casey… stop,” Tenn says as his fingers dig slightly into my scalp.
I ignore him and push my fingers past the elastic of his underwear, curling my hand around his length. “You’ll be begging me to finish you off—”
“Just stop, Casey,” Tenn growls and pulls away from me completely.
Feeling like a wave of ice-cold water just doused me, I look up at him and blink in surprise. His jaw is hard and his eyes are frosty.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as an empty pit starts forming in my stomach.
Tenn huffs out a breath of frustration and holds his arms out to the side. “What’s going on here, Casey?”
Hmmmm. I thought I was being obvious, but apparently not.
I step back up to him, and my hand reaches toward his dick. “I’m going to make you feel good, baby,” I say, and then I’m stunned when he bats my hand away.
“You can suck my cock later,” he snarls at me. “But I want to know what the fuck you think you’re doing? What’s with the act?”
“Act?” I ask, dumbfounded.
“Yeah… act,” he says with exasperation, and then he mimics me, “Oh, baby… I’m going to have you begging. Oh, baby… you’ve never had it this good. Blah, blah, blah.”
My mouth drops open in stunned surprise. “I don’t understand. Don’t you like dirty talk?”
“I like dirty talk just fine,” Tenn says quietly. “But only when you mean it. When you do it to ramp up both of our pleasure. But just now… what you were doing? You sounded like a robot. It sounded rehearsed. Christ, Casey… is that what you do to get all your rich men hot and horny?”
I just stare at him, so completely shocked to hear this revelation about myself.
“I’m not into playing games, Casey. I want you. You,” he emphasizes again by placing a finger gently in the middle of my chest. “Not some shell of a woman that operates on auto pilot because she’s afraid to feel.”
“I don’t—” I start to say, but he cuts me off quickly.
“You do,” he rolls right over me. “You’re problem is you’ve never had anyone tell you the truth, but I’m fucking telling you right now… this shit you’re doing? It ain’t fucking sexy to me at all.”
Oily, black, sludgy shame rolls through me, and my stomach actually pitches sideways. Is this what I’ve become? Have I been reduced to someone who operates on a nonexistent plane just to keep myself untouchable? Have I done this with my friends? My family?
My face lowers to the ground, and all I can do is whisper, “I’m sorry.”
Strong arms immediately wrap around me, one around my upper back and the other cradling my head. Tenn pulls me into his chest and his lips come to the top of my head. “It’s okay.”
Shaking my head, I manage to mutter in to his chest, “I’m not sure I know how to be any other way.”
Tenn squeezes me gently. “Not true, Goldie. You know. You’re just too afraid to try it out.”
He’s right. I’m a fucking coward for sure. It’s so easy to be that other Casey… keeping everyone at a distance, completely shielding myself and depending only upon myself to fulfill my own desires.
Unfortunately or fortuitously, I’m not sure which at this point, but Tenn has pointed out some ugly truths about me and I have to decide if I want to continue to be an ugly person.
Pulling gently out of his embrace, I screw up my courage and lift my eyes to his. “I’d like to try this again,” I say softly, and he gives me an accepting smile in return.
Taking him by the hand, I lead him all the way into the living room and over to a small corner chair that I got at a garage sale. I turn him so his back is to the chair and bring my fingers up to the edge of his boxers again. His erection hasn’t diminished a bit, and that gives me heart.
“Can I try again?” I ask him hesitantly as I look at my fingers hovering right over his hardness.
Tenn slips a finger under my chin, and he raises my face to his. His eyes are soft and his smile is tender. “Yeah, Goldie… try it again.”