“What’s his name?” she blurts out, and my reprieve is gone.
I sit back up and face her. “Tenn.”
“Like the number?” she asks curiously.
“No, like the poet, Tennyson. He’s thirty-three, from Wyoming, visiting the area with Andrea’s brother Kyle, and he’s hung like a porn star. He fucks better than a porn star.”
“What does he do for a living?” she asks me, resting her arms on her knees as she leans forward.
“Used to be a mechanic, but he said he’s in between jobs right now.”
“A mechanic?” she asks in disbelief. “An unemployed mechanic?”
“Yes, a mechanic. He’s also been a Marine and a cowboy,” I tell her, and then I imagine what Tenn would look like naked in chaps.
“But you don’t date mechanics,” she says dumbly. “Or Marines or cowboys for that matter.”
“I’m totally diverse,” I grumble.
“Not when it comes to money, you’re not,” she points out. “And I don’t think mechanics make the dollar range you aim for. I know for sure unemployed ones don’t.”
“Well, maybe my tastes are changing,” I tell her, and then immediately regret it. I’ve just invited her to start really nosing around.
I expect a barrage of questions now, but Gabby does the unexpected. “Look, Casey… I love you. You’re like my sister, and there isn’t anything you can’t tell me. But I also don’t pretend to fully understand you either. I think there are things that are driving you… things that make you uniquely you. I can’t say I’m not worried about your choices sometimes but one thing I do know… you’re an immensely smart and loving woman. If you’re changing, then it’s only because you want it to be so, and you will find what you’re seeking. That’s how much faith I have in you.”
My eyes get a little moist and I have no clue what to say, so I instead lunge forward and wrap my arms around her, squeezing her so hard she gasps in my ear. As she squirms out of my hold, I whisper, “I love you too.”
When I release her, we give each other grins and then settle back in our chairs.
“So, when do I get to meet this guy?” Gabby asks conversationally.
“Not sure,” I tell her. “We’re not dating or anything. You know I don’t do that.”
“Then what are you doing?”
I shrug my shoulders and tilt my face back again. “Lots and lots of sexing for sure. He’s coming back into town in a few days.”
“Well, bring him to Andrea’s birthday party,” Gabby says. “I promise I won’t make a big deal of it.”
“Whatever,” I scoff and to change the subject, I ask, “Anything else I need to do to help with the party?”
“I’ve got it covered. I stopped by the bakery yesterday to order her cake.”
“Sweet,” I murmur, feeling the sun start to make me drowsy.
“Oh,” Gabby exclaims, and she slaps me on my thigh again. “You’ll never guess who I ran into at the bakery.”
I turn to glare at her. “Who?”
“Jeff Parkhurst,” Gabby says, and my insides clench violently. “He’s visiting with his fiancée, and they were there checking out wedding cakes. They’re apparently going to get married next summer on the island. His fiancée was heading back to New York today, but he’s apparently staying for a while to visit with his parents. She’s really nice too… and pretty, but I mean… hello, this is Jeff Parkhurst we’re talking about.”
Gabby’s voice drones on and on while bitter rage wells up inside of me. Rage for what he did to me and bitterness for what he’s made me into.
“Didn’t you like date him for a little bit in high school?” Gabby chatters on and then giggles. “I mean… I think it was all of like two weeks or something. That must have been when you decided to become a man-eater, right Case?”
Yeah… that’s when I decided to become someone different. That’s when I decided that open and trusting did me no good. That’s when I realized that love was stupid, overrated, and most likely a lie.
Gabby has no clue what really went down with Jeff and me. No one does for that matter, unless you count Tenn. He knows Jeff’s name, and he knows he had something to do with the way I am.
I think of Tenn… gorgeous, smiling face, carefree ways, down-to-earth nature. All things that I really started looking at and appreciating. All things that I knew were treacherous to a woman like me and so treated my interest with a measure of caution. I’ve certainly enjoyed replaying the memories of my time with him, and I’ll admit I’ve been eager to reconnect with him.
But now, with Gabby’s innocent mention of Jeff Parkhurst, it all comes flooding back to me. The sour memory of having my first taste of love destroyed in a very humiliating way, and at a time in my life where I needed love and stability.
Brody had just been sentenced to prison, and my world had been shattered. Prior to that, high school had been one endless and glorious event for me, and I was halfway through my senior year riding high on happiness. I was popular, fun to hang around, had amazing friends and I was dating the best-looking guy.
Jeff Parkhurst had it all. Sandy blond hair, gray eyes, and a winning smile. His body was to die for, and every girl wanted the captain of the football team. His parents were loaded, and he drove a hot sports car. To a girl on the verge of womanhood, these were the most important things ever. It’s what defined my life.
Gabby is a little off in her recollection though. We had been dating almost a month when Brody became a sentenced felon, and Jeff was everything I could ever want in a boyfriend. He was sensitive and let me cry on his shoulder… I mean, like all the time. He put a stop to ugly rumors that started swirling around school about me… the baby sister of a murderer. He treated me reverently and with care. He told me he loved me and would love me forever.
On the night that Brody was taken away to serve his time, Jeff took me out to the beach and held me while I cried some more. Then he kissed me sweetly and murmured all the things that a girl as lost as me was desperate to hear. That I was beautiful, that he would offer me up the world, that he would take care of me, and that he would love me no matter what.
His kisses went from sweet to hot.
Jeff was skilled and he was not a virgin the way I was. He touched me in just the right way and then fed me more promises that made my heart fall further slave to him.
So on that moonlit beach, when he asked me for my virginity, I gave it up to him without another thought. I gave it willingly and blindly and I didn’t regret my choice in the slightest.
Not until about a week later when everything I thought I knew about love came crashing down.
I snuck out of my parents’ house late one night to go to a party that Jeff was throwing at his house. His parents were out of town, but my parents wouldn’t let me go. Jeff assured me it was fine and it was okay if I couldn’t come. He’d miss me and all that, but that we’d hook up the next day at the beach.
He was completely cool with hanging without me but as a young woman in love, I wanted to be by his side all the time. So I snuck out and I went to the party.
I think it would have been easier on me if I had found Jeff in some compromising position. Maybe in that respect, I could at least rationalize a man’s baser instinct and capacity for infidelity. But that’s not what I found.
Instead, I came up on Jeff while he was standing in the kitchen with a group of his rich buddies. They were all standing around and laughing with beers in their hands. Jeff’s back was to me, and I remember taking a moment to appreciate his stylish hair and the cut of his clothes on his well-muscled body. I thought about surprising him with a small pat on his ass or something equally sassy.
When I walked up behind him though, I was stopped dead in my tracks when I heard him say, “I think I’m going to ask Tory Capps to the prom. Her dad does some investing with my dad and it’s a good connection to have.”
One of his buddies whistled low and shook his head, “She is one hot piece, but seriously dude… you’ve got Casey Markham. Why do you want to mess with Tory?”