“Who was that you were talking to?” Tenn asks casually as we walk side by side through the parking lot.
“Jeff.” I answer him honestly because I have no intention of hiding this from Tenn.
Tenn’s hand on my arm stops me in my tracks. “Jeff, as in THE Jeff?”
“That’s the one,” I say, pulling my arm free. “Now hurry… I need to get home because he’s picking me up at eight for dinner at La Papillon.”
Tenn puts a vice-grip hold on my elbow this time and I expect him to pull me to a stop again, but instead, he propels me forward to the back of the lot where his bike is located. His long legs eat up the distance and I have to trot to keep up with him, which is fine by me… I need to hurry so I can get ready.
When we reach the bike, Tenn spins me around and his face is thunderous. “What the fuck? Are you going out with that guy tonight?”
“Yes, but it’s not what it seems because—”
“You’re going out with the same guy that for whatever reasons caused you to lock yourself away from relationships?”
“Yes,” I tell him impatiently. “I had this idea—”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Casey,” Tenn barks at me, and his eyes are blazing with fury. He steps up to me, leaning down before gritting out, “You’re fucking going out with another man?”
“To get revenge,” I assure him quickly and then attempt a confident smile. “Make him suffer.”
Tenn spins away, drags his hands through his hair, and then clasps both of them behind his neck. He turns back to look at me and shakes his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m entertaining this stupid as fuck idea, but just exactly how are you going to make him suffer by going out with him tonight?”
“I’m going to make him crazy with wanting me. I’m going to make him think he actually has a chance with me. I’m going to make him beg like a dog, and then I’m going to tell him fuck off because he’s not good enough for me.”
I think it’s a brilliant plan now that I just said it out loud.
Tenn just stares at me hard, a muscle popping at the corner of his jaw. Then he quietly asks, “And just how are you going to drive him crazy?”
“Well, I’m not sure—”
Stepping back into me, Tenn wraps his huge hand around the front of my throat, gripping me lightly. He pushes up, causing my face to tilt so I can’t help but look at him. “Are you going to touch him?”
“That’s probably—”
His hand squeezes a little. “Are you going to give him a bit of a hand job first? Just to work him up good?”
“Tenn, that’s—”
His hand now tugs on me, raising me on my tiptoes until his nose is almost touching mine. With barely controlled rage, Tenn asks so softly. “Are you going to let him kiss that mouth? Especially after you used it on my cock just this morning?”
“Please, Tenn. You have to understand—”
He releases his hold on me abruptly and asks in a strangled voice that causes my heart to squeeze painfully. “Are you going to do any of those things, Casey?”
“No,” I say immediately, and I know it’s true. While I may not have thought this plan through all the way, Tenn has made me consider my options, and there is no way in hell I can let that sleaze touch me. My body belongs to Tenn and no one else at this point in my life.
“It’s a stupid plan, Goldie,” he murmurs. “I don’t know what this guy did to you, but it’s not worth breaking down everything you’ve been working to build up.”
“What do you mean?” I ask cautiously.
“I mean, you become just like him if you engage in this mind fuck.”
“I am nothing like him,” I snarl, stepping forward. Poking him in the chest, I say, “You have no idea what he did so you can’t possibly know how important this is to me.”
“Then tell me,” Tenn pleads as his arms come to my shoulders. “Tell me what he did and let me kick his ass for you, but don’t go through with this.”
Shaking my head, I turn away and walk up to Tenn’s bike. I grab my helmet and with my back to him, I say, “I’m not talking about it. You’ll just have to trust me when I say it was bad enough that I have to do this. That I think this is the only way I can get some type of vindication. Some type of peace.”
Then I turn to look at him and with imploring eyes, I say, “I’m asking for your support on this and to trust me that I won’t cross a boundary that’s disrespectful to you.”
Tenn’s shoulders sag and he steps up to the bike, grabbing his helmet. He stares at it thoughtfully for a moment and then says with resignation, “The mere fact you would do something like this… that would cause me worry… that would tear my fucking guts up to even think of you making sexual promises to that fucker… well, I’m sorry, Casey… but that’s already disrespectful to me.”
“What are you saying?” I ask as I can feel my lungs starting to deflate in anxiety.
Tenn turns those beautiful blue eyes my way and says, “I’m not sure I can handle it. When I said you’d be breaking down everything you’ve been working to build up… I’m not just talking about you, Casey, and the way you’ve changed. I’m talking about what you’ve built up with me.”
He’s giving me an ultimatum. He’s telling me that if I go through with this, which to my way of thinking is just going to be dinner with me getting Jeff worked up with fake promises, he’s going to break up with me. Clearly, he doesn’t trust me. Clearly, he doesn’t understand or support the importance of this to me.
I stick my chin up and even though I know in my heart this is probably the wrong thing to do, I say, “So be it.”
Tenn’s eyes go distant, and he gives a sad smile. “Get on the bike. Guess I need to get you home for your date.”
I go ahead and climb on, my feelings raging an absolute war inside me that causes my chest to ache and my stomach to roll with queasiness. I’m doing the right thing… I can feel it in my bones. The only way I can let my past go is by standing up for myself and making Jeff understand exactly how it feels to have someone reject you. While I know his ego won’t be as fragile as mine was at the tender age of eighteen, I know it will hurt him just a bit. And at least I’ll be able to expel all of my bitterness at him. That has to be psychologically beneficial, right?
The ride to my house doesn’t take long. Tenn doesn’t turn the bike off and the loud rumble doesn’t exactly make it conducive to a fruitful discussion. But I do try one more time as I take my helmet off and hand it to him. After he stows it in the saddlebag, he turns to look at me.
“Tenn… please don’t hold this against me,” I ask beseechingly.
He shakes his head and gives me a wry smile. “I won’t,” he says simply, and my heart lightens. “I’m going to hold it against me that I even thought to get involved with someone like you. Tired of the fucking games, Casey.”
Tenn doesn’t spare me another glance, which means he doesn’t see the tears that immediately start pricking my eyes. Instead, he puts the bike in gear and rumbles off down the road, and I watch until he fades off into the distance.
My first real relationship already over.
Chapter 16
Tenn
Christ… that woman is maddening.
She’s stupid, ignorant, willful, and bratty.
Heartless.
That’s what she is… absolutely fucking heartless.
She’s a woman that’s been hurt, a voice says inside of me. It changed her into something no one should ever have to be.
Not my problem though. Not up to me to try to change her.
“Fuck,” I yell out to the wind as my bike motors down the highway. I figured I’d go to The Last Call and get fantastically drunk tonight. Maybe Hunter and Brody will be there, and I can rant to them about what a stupendous idiot their sister is.