“Huh?” Gabby mumbles. “I’m lost. What the hell are you talking about?”
“Jeff Parkhurst. The night after Andrea’s party,” I clarified.
“But you were seeing Tenn,” Savannah says worriedly.
“I was,” I tell her with an embarrassed smile. “And Tenn knew about it.”
“I’m more than just lost,” Gabby says, her brow wrinkled in confusion. “What are you trying to tell us, Casey?”
Taking a deep breath, I look at Gabby with determination. This is for all the girls, but mostly for Gabby. “I dated Jeff for four weeks in high school. He told me he loved me, and I gave him my virginity the night that Brody was taken to prison.”
“I know that,” Gabby says in agreement. “I thought you saw him for a shorter period of time though.”
“It was a long time ago,” I say sadly, perfectly aware of how much of my life was wasted on these memories. “I overheard him about a week later talking to his buddies about me. I won’t get into the gory details but he basically said I was a great fuck but that was all I was good for. That I wasn’t good enough for his circle. He pointed out my dad was a fisherman and my brother was a felon.”
“What the fuck?” Gabby explodes and comes halfway out of her chair, causing the cups to rattle hard. “I’ll kill that asshole.”
“Pipe down,” Alyssa says with a restraining hand on Gabby’s shoulder. “Let Casey finish.”
I give Gabby a thankful smile… for having my back. Then I tell her as honestly as I can, “He ruined me, Gabs. That was when I changed.”
A light sparks in Gabby’s eyes, and understanding filters in. She knows me well. Now that she knows my motivator, she can easily figure out why I took the course I took.
“You only went out with men like Jeff Parkhurst,” she says in amazement. “Not just rich men… but men just as conceited and self-important as Jeff. You were gorgeous and fabulous and you made those men beg you for a chance, and then you walked away. You let them know they weren’t good enough for you.”
I nod my head in absolute shame, my eyes lowering to my cup. “Some of them didn’t deserve it.”
“You never led them on,” Gabby says, and she knows this about me because I’ve always been candid with not only my conquests, but with my friends when it came to how I treated said conquests. I openly shared my boundaries of no love, no commitment, and no hassles with friends and lovers alike.
“I didn’t,” I agree. “But regardless of the type of men they were, I guess no one deserved for me to take my wrath out on them.”
“I want to get back to the part about you going on a date with him,” Alyssa says.
“It was so stupid,” I say sheepishly. “I saw him at the grocery store and I had every intention of just laying into him, but then I thought… I should do to him what he did to me. So he really knows how it feels.”
“So you were going to do what?” Savannah asks in confusion.
“She was going to bring him to his knees with lust, and then she was going to walk away,” Gabby says confidently. “And yeah… that was a stupid idea, Casey.”
“I know,” I say with a grimace. “Tenn flipped out—”
“As he should have,” Gabby butts in and when my eyes flash at her, she says, “Sorry… please continue.”
“I never intended to cross any line with Jeff. It was only meant to be words to get him hot. And trust me, my dirty talk is really hot. I told Tenn that but of course, he was still pissed.”
“As he should have been,” Gabby mumbles, and I ignore her.
“But I couldn’t go through with it. I left him in the restaurant,” I tell her, and she smiles at me brightly. “And Tenn was right there waiting for me… ready to support me no matter what the outcome was.”
“And what was the outcome?” Andrea asks.
“Tenn totally roughed Jeff up, made him get on his knees before me to apologize, and then made him pee his pants,” I say with a wicked grin.
All four women break out in loud cackles, Savannah hunches over holding her stomach, Andrea slapping at the table, and Gabby with tears rolling out of her eyes. “Tell me you’re making that up,” she huffs. “Because that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
Shaking my head… chuckling with my peeps, I assure her, “I swear to God. He fucking peed his pants.”
“Oh my God,” Alyssa snorts. “I think I’m going to pee mine.”
“Tenn is like the most perfect man ever,” Gabby says dreamily. “Next to Hunter, of course.”
“So you see,” I say, bringing the conversation around full circle. “I really like him.”
“Oh, baby,” Alyssa says with a knowing look. “You more than like him.”
“Maybe,” I admit while nibbling on my lower lip. “I don’t know. I’ve never had these feelings before.”
“What does it feel like?” Savannah asks earnestly, her lovely face tilted in curiosity.
I close my eyes briefly, and the image of Tenn’s face magically appears in my mind. “When I’m with him, it’s so comforting. It’s like I’m continually immersed in my favorite smell of sea salt and coconuts or like I’m being wrapped in my grandmother’s old afghan. Tenn feels like that giddy first day of summer vacation, and my insides feel like a litter of wiggling puppies whenever he looks at me. It feels strange, and dangerous, and like I’m on the edge of falling into something great and mysterious with all the promise in the world.” I open my eyes, immediately seeing all four of my girls staring at me with romantic eyes and lips slightly parted in surprise. I smile at them, and lower my eyes shyly. “Yeah… it feels like the lifting of dark clouds on a rainy day… that moment when the sun peeks out and a rainbow magically appears.”
“Wow,” Alyssa murmurs.
“Dying here,” Savannah sighs.
“Speechless,” Andrea says.
“Holy shit, girl,” Gabby exclaims. “You are so in love with him.”
My entire body startles over her proclamation, and I immediately shake my head in denial. “No way. It’s not love,” I stubbornly assert.
“That is so love,” Savannah says with a knowing smile. “Except I’ve never heard it sound so poetic.”
“I don’t do love,” I practically whine. “I don’t know how to do it. I’m just now getting comfortable with the idea that I like Tenn. I’m just now able to be happy that he’s staying in the area. I’m not ready for love.”
“None of us were really ready for it,” Andrea says thoughtfully. “But when it comes… you just know it.”
“But I don’t ‘just know it’,” I maintain. “I’m having all kinds of doubts still. It feels awkward to me.”
Gabby reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “Push through it, Casey,” she says in almost a warning tone. “Don’t you dare let this guy get away. He’s the real deal.”
“How do you know?” I ask quietly… skeptically.
“Because… he’s the reason you’re even sitting here with us waxing poetic about rainy days and rainbows. You’re in a relationship, Casey, and while it’s awkward to you, I guarantee you that it’s fantastic too, right?”
I nod at her, my eyes filling with unmeasured hope. Could I do this? Could I push past my fears and really have something serious with Tenn? Could I really be in love?
“You need to grab onto it, Casey, and make it your bitch,” Gabby says with a wink and a smirk.
“Yeah,” Andrea says in affirmation. “Make love your bitch.”
“That should be a hashtag on Twitter,” Alyssa says, and Savannah gives another dreamy and romantic sigh.
Make love my bitch?
Hmmmmm. That sounds like something Casey Markham would do.
After having the most fun breakfast of my entire life, I swing by my place and grab Tenn, then proceed to take him around the island and show him five different houses for sale and three that are for rent. He didn’t like any of them.