I shrug my shoulders and offer, “I guess I was trying to avoid that look on your face right there.”
It’s not a good answer, I know that. It’s evasive and slightly condescending, but fuck… I’m a little off my game here what with just finding out my father died.
“And what look would that be?” she grits out.
“Judgment,” I say bluntly, completely on edge and poised defensively. “Don’t try to deny you’re not right now categorizing my family and me as entitled elite.”
“How could you possibly know what I’m thinking?” she counters heatedly.
“Because I know you, Goldie,” I say as I stalk up to her. “I know how you view men with money. I know what you think money does to people.”
“So you were just going to always keep this hidden from me?”
“No,” I say with a heavy gust of frustration. “I was going to tell you. I just wanted time first… to have you get to know me… away from all of this.”
“Because you didn’t trust me to accept you once I found out,” she supplies, and a bit of shame rushes through me that she’s struck so close to the real truth of what was driving me.
I turn away from her and stare out the window to the land that I love. God knows my lack of desire to be a part of this dynasty has absolutely nothing to do with all the beauty this ranch beholds. It always infuses me with peace and pride in equal measures.
She’s right. I guess, deep down… there was a part of me that didn’t trust her to accept.
“You know,” she says quietly. “I’m not quite sure how you can tell me you love me at the same time that you don’t trust me. And I thought I was the one that was clueless about love.”
That really robs the air from my lungs… the simple truth of that statement. It shames me and makes me defensive. Add on to the fact that I’m still reeling from my father’s death, not only because of the loss of a man I loved, but the way that this is going to change my course in life, I can’t help but lash out at her.
“Save the lectures on love, Casey,” I snap at her, directing my self-loathing her way. “You’re the last person I’d look to for a valid explanation as to what all this means.”
She gasps and her body jerks as if I slapped her. I might as well have because it was a completely shitty thing to say.
But I hold on to my anger, let my grief over the loss of my father, the loss of my independence, and possibly the loss of my love, overwhelm me.
Turning on my heel, I stomp out of the room and slam the door behind me.
Chapter 25
Casey
I wish I could be really mad at Tenn, but I can’t.
I get why he held back on me and I do think, given the right time, he would have told me all about his family. Unfortunately, death has a way of moving the timetables and Tenn got caught in a situation of nothing more than bad timing.
So, I’m only mildly annoyed at him and even that’s waning because my sympathy for him and what he’s going through is starting to take precedence.
Do I forgive him for his omission?
Absolutely.
Do I question the validity of what he feels for me now?
Absolutely.
It’s a very confusing time for me, but when it boils down to it, there are things that are far more important than my feelings at the moment. I still have a man that I care about deeply who is hurting and needs my support. I mean to give it to him, and we’ll figure the rest out later. This is an adequate, short-term solution for me, because let’s face it… I’m probably just as confused as he is.
Without another thought, I hurry to the door and throw it open, intent on trying to catch up to Tenn, as I’m sure I won’t be able to find my way back to the front door without a GPS locator. It’s disorienting at first when I slam into the brick wall of his chest as he stands just on the other side of the door with both of his arms raised and stretched out to hold onto the casing. I bounce backward slightly, which is good, because it gives me room to look upward to gaze at him.
Even though his lips are flattened out, I see a small flame of amusement in his eyes. I decide to take advantage of it. “What are you doing lurking outside my room?” I say indignantly.
“It’s my room, Goldie.”
“Since you left, I decided to claim it,” I counter with my chin lifted.
“That so?” his voice rumbles and his lips journey upward.
“Yeah, well… now that I know you’re all rich and powerful, I figured I should take advantage of it, you know?”
“Not funny,” Tenn grits out, his lips flattening once more.
I give a coy smile and step in toward him, laying my hands just below his breastbone. “Okay, that was bad humor, I admit. But I am trying to find the humor in this.”
Tenn’s gaze bores into me, his eyes hard and unyielding. I think maybe he’s really pissed over my attempt to lighten the mood, so I’m not overly surprised when he takes my hand and starts dragging me down the hall without another word.
I don’t think to pull away or be leery, because even though he’s moving at a quick pace, his hand is, as always, gentle on me. He navigates me back through the monstrosity of a house, that I have to admit is the most spectacular thing I’ve ever seen. When he gets to the great room, which is extremely great by the way, Woolf comes walking through.
He gives me a quick smile and then looks to Tenn, who quickly shakes his head. “Not now,” he growls. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
“But we need to discuss—” Woolf protests.
“Later,” Tenn says, and then we’re pushing through the front door. Tenn’s long legs eat up the porch steps, causing me to trot down them. He takes a left and heads over to the massive garage I had noticed when we pulled up, which is constructed of the same timber as the house. Tenn pulls me through a side door, hits a button on a panel that houses multiple buttons, and one of the garage doors lifts slowly.
“Get on,” he says as he mounts a dark green four-wheeler.
I scramble on after him, scoot close, and wrap my arms around his lean waist. Then we are off and roaring out of the garage.
Tenn operates the ATV with the same surety as he does his motorcycle and the horse I’ve seen him ride. Always in control. Always confident.
He drives us past the house, down another dirt lane, and through a heavily wooded area of a variety of trees I don’t recognize except for pine. Then he bursts out into an open field where I can see a large river up in the distance. He heads that way and in moments, we are its banks with water so crystal clear, I can see all the way to the large rocks scattered across the bottom.
Tenn gets off the ATV and easily lifts me from my seat. He sets me down on the rocky shore and takes my hand, walking me to the water’s edge. The Teton Mountains sit back several miles opposite of us with a flat valley in between. I turn my back to look at the way we came, and sure enough, I see the butte in the distance with the Jennings house sitting on top, except this time, I can appreciate how massive it is. It’s three stories that run down the side of the massive hill, and I can easily distinguish the center of the structure which I know holds the great room, as well as two distinct wings that branch off to each side.
Shaking my head with bemusement, I turn back to Tenn to find him watching me with deflated eyes. “I’m sorry, Casey. I should have been up front with you. I was always waiting for the ‘right time’ but truth be told, it was the right time every time I thought about it.”
“What’s the real reason you didn’t tell me?” I ask him with my head tilted to the side.
He ignores my question and instead sweeps his arm out to indicate the panoramic scene before me. “This was my favorite place in the world. I come out here every time I visit my parents. Spent a good part of my time growing up here fishing this river for cutthroat trout or hunting elk on the other side of the valley. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen, and I didn’t think it could ever be topped.”