My parents are alive.
I lost dance because I thought they were dead.
I almost died because I thought they were dead.
But they were just hiding the whole time.
And Sebastian saw it eating away at me, and still, he kept it from me.
They betrayed me. They all betrayed me.
My vision starts blurring, going in and out, and now I have nothing but anger left. I want to scream. I want to run away. I want to end this--somehow.
The man I love betrayed me.
Sebastian betrayed me.
The tears start pouring out now, racing like the beating of my heart, and I just keep shaking my head, backing away from Sebastian and my parents and toward the stairs.
"So you were behind all this?" I whisper to Sebastian, tears stinging at my eyes. "Their death almost cost me my life. It sure as hell cost me everything else. You saw how it hurt me and you did nothing. You--you--" My voice cracks then, more tears rushing out.
Sebastian's eyes flare up now, such an intense blue, and I feel them on me, feel their intensity, as he steps toward me. "You're right." His voice is low and rough still, but I see the passion building up, the love he doesn't know how to control. "I did see how it hurt you. And you know what? It fucking hurt me too. No, it killed me to see you hurt like that! But I couldn't tell you what I'd done… and what your parents had done. I was too scared. I was too scared it would hurt you even more. I--I made a judgment call. I'm--"
"Sorry?" I scream. "You're sorry? After lying to me all this time, keeping things from me like this, and jeopardizing my life so many times, all you are is sorry? You don't know what sorry means, Sebastian! You don't know what you have cost me!"
"But I do!" he shouts right back, stepping toward me and reaching out his hands, trying to wrap me up in his arms and make the pain go away like he always used to, but I just keep stepping back, not letting him, shoving him away with my hands. "I do understand your pain! I do know what this cost you! That's the point, isn't it? I do know. I'm the only who is fucking broken as you are! I know you. And you know me. We were meant for each other, angel, don't you see? I screwed up, and I'm sorry. But I did it all for you. I did it because I loved you!" His eyes feel like they're on fire now and his face is red from shouting, but I feel something break inside of me. I don't know what it is--hope breaking? Happiness? Love? But whatever it is, it kills. It feels like a bullet, right to the heart. And I just keep shaking, taking a step down the stairs, then another, and another, still facing Sebastian.
I can't do this. I can't go on like this. I have to leave. I have to get away from here.
And then hits me.
What I need to do.
It hits me as I lock eyes with Sebastian's intense blue. It hits me, the memory, and I know I have no choice.
"But that's not enough," I whisper, my voice trembling. The intensity in Sebastian's face seems to shatter, and I see the ache of defeat, of hopeless, spread across his features. I see it because I know what it's like. The worst part is that I believe Sebastian despite myself. That something in his voice, something deep inside, makes me know with every part of me that he never meant to hurt me.
But I have to do this.
I can’t take being here anymore.
I have to end this, once and for all.
So I lock eyes with Sebastian, take a deep breath, and hiss, "I'm done, Sebastian. I'm done, for good. Them," I whisper, nodding to my parents. "Them, I can understand lying to me like that. Them, they never cared about me. Them, I wish were fucking dead after all the lies and pain they put me through. But you, Sebastian. I never expected you to betray me. I trusted you. I loved you! And this is what I get? The second I put my heart out there, entrust the shards of me with someone else, I just get it ripped away? My heart just gets shattered more than it already was? Was that your plan all along?" I scream, shaking all over. "Was your plan just to hurt me more than before?"
The genuine pain in Sebastian's eyes is almost unbearable. "Angel, please," he pleads, reaching out a hand to me one last time as I keep backing down the stairs, but I push it away, shaking my head. "You know that's not true."
"We're done, Sebastian," I whisper, tears streaming down my face as I take step after step down the stairs. "We're done."
Then I turn around altogether, squeezing my eyes shut to keep more tears from falling, and I sprint down the staircase, to freedom. All three of them watch me go, sad and crushed, but they don't stop me. My whole body screams with pain and confusion and betrayal, but I try to push it away, focusing on just taking step after step, even through my blurry eyes.
And then, once I reach the bottom floor, I remember what Marco said. If you ever change your mind about Sebastian, I'm always waiting at the dance studio.
And so I spin around to face Sebastian one last time, anger pulsing throughout my body. "So that's why Marco didn't kill me in that little supermarket. He wanted me to lead him right to my parents and you. And you know what?" I scream, my voice cracking through the tears as I start sprinting toward the door to get way away from here. "I will."
Chapter Eighteen
The dance studio in town is small, much small than the one I used to go to. This one doesn't appear to have been used in years, and it's overgrown with thick plants and trees, shoved off into the corner of a parking lot away from the rest of town. The bricks that compose the studio are crumbling, white paint peeling off the walls, and the place looks more like a century-old garage than it does a dance studio.
I keep my head down as I walk over to it. My heart is pounding.
I know what I have to do. I know I have to leave Sebastian.
I know this is my only choice.
Several cars race by me and people pass me on the beat-up sidewalk, oblivious to everything, to the way my eyes are filled with dried tears, to the absolute shattering in my heart that I'm sure is blatant in my features. I feel changed, changed from before I met Sebastian. I feel less hopeless, somehow. I feel strong, like if I can make it through this, I can do anything. But thinking about my parents and Sebastian… about what they did to me… it hurts. It hurts too much to handle.
One thing is clear, though: I have to go with Marco. I have to escape. I can't even look at Sebastian anymore without my heart hurting, and as much I hate myself for leaving, I know I have to do this.
Music pulses from within the dance studio, and a man smoking a cigarette eyes me suspiciously as I walk over to it. I stare back at him, hard and unwavering like Sebastian taught me to do, letting him know I mean business.
Sebastian taught me a lot of things. Never back down is just one of them.
The man starts to step in my way when I head straight into the parking lot toward the studio, past a few broken-down houses.
"Where are you going, missy? You sure you're in the right place," he says, blowing a puff of smoke into my face.
I glare at him. "Your boss would be pissed if he knew you interrupted me."
He raises an eyebrow, amused. I don't stop glaring at him. "Is that so?" he says as he takes another drag of his cigarette.
"Yes," I say. "I'm precious cargo."
He starts to laugh, maybe to scream at me and shove me away, but then his eyes lock on mine for the first time, and I think he realizes who I am, because he looks suddenly startled and uncomfortable. "My apologies," he says quickly. He motions me to the door, then swings it open. "Right this way."
I smile at him, cold and annoyed, and step inside. He immediately closes the door behind me.