But I don't dare move, or breathe, or do anything to give myself away. So I just crouch there, stock-still, waiting for whoever to leave. I hold my breath as I hear another footstep, drawing closer still. The person pauses, and I hear sobbing from someone out in the hallway. My heart hammers in my chest so hard I swear whoever is there can hear it, but I don't dare move as the sound of the footsteps stops.
Right.
In front of.
My door.
And then, to my absolute horror, the knob turns. I watch, frozen, trying not to cry, as it turns until it clicks, and then the door swings wide open.
The first thing I see is the man's boots: dark and placed right outside my door. Then, slowly, I lift my gaze up to his suit pants, then to his tux and black bowtie, then to his square jaw, and then, finally, my gaze settles on those same, icy blue eyes I know all too well.
Sebastian gives me a small smile as he walks over to the bed. "Ready to begin, angel?" he says.
If my stomach could sink so low that it falls out of my body, mine just did. He keeps a gun trained on someone outside, looking between me and whoever it is. "Come here," he coos in his sing-song way, but I don't move. I'm rooted in the spot, shaking like crazy, the tears streaming down my face.
When I don't obey, the smile leaves his face and fury replaces it. Sebastian looks sinister, his nostrils flaring and lips curling into a smirk. "Out. Now," he yells, and points a second gun on me.
A sob racks through me, but I have no choice but to obey. I stand up and walk numbly over to him, trying to process what's going on, why Sebastian, my Sebastian, looks like he wants to kill me. My heart keeps on hammering and my blood chills and chills, and I can barely make out anything but the throbbing in my head. I feel my vision starting to fade out, feel the room disappear and everything else leaving me, but I force myself to focus, to take one step after another until, finally, I reach the door.
A pained smile spreads across Sebastian's lips. "Good, my angel," he coos once I reach him, stroking my hair for just a second. His eyes seem sad, though, almost apologetic, which catches me off guard. "Very good."
Then, he hands me a gun. A pistol, I think, but I don't have much experience with guns. I take it, my hands still shaking furiously. I don't understand why he's giving it to me, but I'm too scared and confused to question him. I look up to meet his gaze. He looks different than usual. His eyes are hard and fierce, and not in the same loving kind of way. They're angry, almost apologetic.
I swallow hard.
I hear a crash somewhere downstairs, then shouts, and then an earsplitting crack. A gunshot, I think. My legs go weak. Sebastian must hear it too, because he glances down the hall and then looks back at me, his face and voice suddenly urgent.
"Use this," he says, pointing at the gun he gave.
"For what?" I choke out. I have to force myself to continue breathing. I look at the gun, then him, then back at my feet.
The sounds of people running are approaching. I pray with every fiber of my being that they're cops, but I don't even know anymore. I don't know what's going on. I don't know why the man I thought I trusted just possibly killed someone, and is now looking like he wants to do the same to me.
Sebastian grabs my arm and shoves me out into the hall. He points at a girl lying limply on the other side of the hall, blood pouring out of a gunshot wound in her leg. Time seems to slow as my gaze settles on the face.
It's Ash.
The bleeding girl is Ash.
A scream escapes me, and I thrash and try to run toward her but Sebastian holds me back, his grip like iron. My headache grows and I feel sick, so sick, and then everything but the shallow beating of my heart seems to fade away.
Distantly, I hear Sebastian yell, "Protect her, angel. Men are after us. Bad men. I don't have the resources to bring your friend with us." Out of nowhere, I'm struck by how full of genuine care his voice sounds, but the thought is gone as quickly as it comes.
Shouts fill the air as several armed men race upstairs, clicking of their safeties. Everything blurs. This whole thing is like a nightmare, and I don't know what to do but stand and shake and stare at Ash while Sebastian moves to the end of the hallway, his gun locked and loaded. "One of the men shot her," I hear him say. "I killed him but she's really banged up. Save her, angel. If these men get her they will give her something worse than death."
My head spins, and my stomach is so queasy and my muscles so rigid that none of this even feels real anymore. I try to focus on holding up the gun, but I can't even think straight anymore. I feel my mind fading in and out, like my eyes are a camera zooming and unzooming back and forth and back and forth. I just watch Sebastian, watch as he flattens himself against the hall and points his gun at the stairwell, takes a shot at the oncoming me, then steps back and stares at me urgently. His eyes burn into mine for one, single second that feels like an eternity. They are so full of something, something deep and dark and hurt, and it looks like he wants to say a million things to me, but nothing comes out.
Sebastian doesn't say a word. He just stares at me so intensely I swear it bores a hole into my skin, but his lips don't move. It's like his eyes are apologizing, like he's telling me he already regrets whatever is about to happen, and the thought makes my stomach twist.
Then, just like that, he grunts and looks away. I gasp for air immediately, because his gaze was so intense I realize I forgot to breathe.
Sebastian steps out from the cover of the hallway and takes several shots down at the men coming up the stairs, whoever they are. I hear another scream, then the thud of someone falling.
Desperately, I clutch the gun in my hand and stare back down at Ash, my hands shaking wildly. Ash's eyes are wild and crazed, and she lies there, so limply, the blood rushing out of her body. I see her long blonde hair, the mascara running down her eyes, and the crimson staining her pale skin. I see the fear in her eyes, the way she feels life slipping away from her, and the pain of the thought is almost unbearable.
I crouch down beside her as Sebastian continues to shoot at the oncoming men, tears pouring down my face. I look at my gun, which I'm holding at the space by the top of the stairs. The safety is off. I know enough about guns to tell. I know how to shoot them too. When I was considering suicide, I taught myself all about them, how they work, but guns always felt too messy. Felt wrong. And they still do.
"It's going to be okay," I whisper to her, but my body is shaking so hard that my voice cracks, and I don't believe my own words for a second.
I don't understand what's going on.
I don't understand why Sebastian is shooting people right before my eyes.
And I don't understand why these men want to kill us.
My hand is shaking like mad as I hold the trigger. I hear more people running up the stairs, the barking of orders and sounds of guns being loaded. I know I don't have much time. I know they're almost here.
"They're coming, angel!" Sebastian roars back at me, and his bloodshot eyes meet mine for a single instant. Fear pulses through me as more gunshots go off, and he screams, "We have to go!"
I don’t move, though. My body is shaking so hard and I just keep staring at Ash. Everything starts to fade out, and I'm absolutely paralyzed, unable to move.
"RUN!" he screams again, taking one last shot at the oncoming men.
But I can't. I can't move. My feet are absolutely rooted in the spot. I clench the gun so hard I swear I'm going to break my hands, and so many tears rush down my face at once that my whole cheek stings. My vision blurs, but distantly I see Sebastian running over to me, screaming something I can't make out, and I feel myself reaching out to Ash, trying to grab her arm and hold tight to her, but my hand misses.