Tucker became the living symbol of all the things I did not want my life to be. He was random and maudlin, an obnoxious drunk with a terrible temper who could be on the verge of violence one moment, on the verge of tears in the next.
The only thing I liked about living with Tuck were visits from his old friend and partner Joseph Egret, an Everglades Indian of mild humor and gigantic stature. Why Joseph put up with Tuck and his constant racist badgering, I never understood. The two of them were dedicated to each other, which was the only valid endorsement my uncle ever received as far as I was concerned. I liked Joseph a lot, but he wasn’t around enough to make a difference, so I left.
As punishment, Tucker tried to leverage me with guilt whenever he could, and he called me Duke, a nickname he knew I hated but used anyway.
What good would it do to explain the whole sad relationship, though, to Ransom, who really was the man’s daughter?
The band was playing again.
I worked around in the lab until there was nothing left to do, locked the door behind me, went into my house, and switched off the turntable.
Through the screen window, I could see the lights of the marina casting saffron columns across black water. I could see the Japanese lanterns aboard Tiger Lily, lucent paper blooms of green, strawberry, and blue. Could hear Danny Morgan singing another Buffett song: “Cowboy in the Jungle.”
Appropriate.
It was a song that always conjured up images of a cowboy who’d spent a lot of his life in one kind of jungle or another-Tucker Gatrell.
I went to the table, picked up the envelope and opened it. Inside were two sheets of yellow legal paper covered with the man’s sloppy block hand.
I opened a beer, poured it over ice, then cleaned my glasses. Finally, I took a seat in the overstuffed chair by the reading lamp along the north wall, and I read: Dear Duke, If you’re reading this, it means I’m dead and so is that black-hearted son-uva-bitch Sinclair Benton. I hope to hell I had a chance to piss on the gold-toothed bastard’s grave, but I got no way of knowing as I write this. So, if I didn’t, please piss on his grave for me. I’m serious. Throw some seed around and try to get the birds to shit on his headstone, too, while you’re at it. He’s got it coming. Something else it means if you’re reading this is you met my little girl. Ain’t she a dandy? I wanted to name her Roscoe after my favorite horse of all time, only her mama wouldn’t stand for it and changed it to Ransom ’cause that’s what the beautiful little girl was worth to her, a king’s ransom. Her mama’s name was Rumer and she liked the letter R. It ain’t easy for me to explain how it was I come to father a child I never claimed openlike. Maybe it is all men got a secret little place in their hearts, a place where we keep all the little lives we live but ain’t supposed to live. Not out of shame but because in some places we are one person and some places we are another, which is how men are. It was like that with me and Ransom. I only got to be with her eight times. The last five of them times Sinclair Benton and his goat-humpers tried to beat the fire outta me. I never had to break so many colored noses in my life but they weren’t quitters, I’ll give them boys that much, and they bout succeeded in killing me twice. Didn’t matter. I kept going back to see my little girl whenever I had the money and could. Sinclair Benton, he and me hated each other. When I met Ransom’s mama, she was bout the most beautiful woman I ever saw, white or colored. Almost as pretty as Munequinta, my little Cuban girl. Smart, too. Rumer, she could cipher arithmetic and write and read almost as good as me. I loved that woman and she thought the sun rose over my head, and I don’t blame her an ounce for giving up on me and marrying an islander, even if he was a no-account coconut-picker who spent most his time away and drunk. Which is why it was easy for Benton to catch Rumer when she was all alone, no one to help, and do what he did to her. Benton didn’t take to the idea of her having a blue-eyed child, so he cast spells against her and when the spells didn’t work and she wouldn’t stop seeing me, he used his fists. Understand now what I mean? Piss on that old witch’s grave a couple times for a purty lady who cared for your old uncle. Duke, there was only one way for me to hurt Sinclair Benton, and Joe and me worked it out slick as can be. We hurt him real, real bad. He knew it was me but could never prove it, which shows just what a smart plan I come up with and probably pissed him off every remaining day of his life. I surely hope so. Trouble was, after that, it got real, real dangerous for me to go back to Cat Island. Even so, I was the best daddy I could be to Ransom. Sent her and Rumer money when I had it and little doodad presents. I thought more than once of having them two brung over to Florida, but quit the idea each time. It ain’t no secret that I’m a rambling man, no husbandly good to any woman, but that’s the cards I drawed. It’s a short life and a dangerous world and as I told Joe more than once: Why’d the Good Lord give us tallywhackers and trigger fingers unless he expected us to use them? Trouble is, when you live the life I’ve lived, you lose the folks you love. One way or the other, you lose them all. Rumer died last year and it nearly broke my heart hearing about it. Nothing makes you feel older and smaller than when a woman you loved and bedded passes from her own aging. Here’s the thing: With me dead, that little girl’s got no one else in the world to look after her. Which is why I told her you’re her brother. That ain’t such a bad thing, is it? Why let someone feel lost and alone in the world if all it takes is a lie to make things sunnier? One thing that ain’t a lie, Duke, is that Ransom’s gonna need your help. I’ve tried my best to protect that girl, which is what I’m doing right now, writing this letter and giving it to Judge Flowers. What I’m doing is setting it up for her to get her inheritance in a way that Benton’s goat-humpers can’t steal it from her. I can’t risk them taking this letter or finding out in some easy way where it was I hid what I hid. There’s gotta be a couple safety stops in there to make sure it’s Ransom and you who find it, nobody else. I’m begging you to do this, Duke. I’m dead now and you got no more reason to hate me for what I did even though it has hurt me and haunted me every breathing day of my life. I wished I coulda come right out and say what I’m saying now, but I’m a lowlife, stubborn son-uva-bitch and I admit it. Everytime I tried to do something good in my life I ended up doing bad. The worst thing I know is, I am the cause of my own dear sister’s death, who was your mother and, if I burn in Hell for that, I will not feel no more pain than I did shouldering the guilt when I was alive. Please don’t blame Ransom, who is your own sister, for that. Good luck from the grave! Tucker M. Gatrell
PS-I think my horse Roscoe’s nuts have grown back because of water he drunk out of a spring that’s here at the ranch! I’m going to call you and see if you still hate me, cause if you don’t I could use some help to figure how much to charge for water that seems to have lots of strong vitamins in it.
I checked the top of the first page-it wasn’t dated. Typical.
I read one of the paragraphs several times before I folded the yellow paper and slid it back into the envelope. As I did, I noticed a smaller piece of paper inside that I’d overlooked. Took it out and saw that it was another handwritten note, but the handwriting was much different. It had the beautiful flowing loops and curvature that I associate with a people who learned to write before typewriters were common, a precise pencraft that is more like calligraphy. It was from Joseph Egret.
I read: Dear Marion, Your Uncle Tuck is drunk as usual and passed out, which took longer than most nights because it’s after midnight. He give me this letter to address and send, so I decided to write you a letter of my own. I’m sleeping out in the barn and it is a real pretty night here on the ranch with stars over the water and the shrimp boats in close enough I can hear them and there are lights in the windows of those little houses down on Mango Bay where Sally Carmel lives. I know you remember how it was and always liked it when the two of us went out in the pasture and looked up at the sky at night and we could hear the little diesels of them shrimpers working in shallow. Don’t that seem like a long time ago? Marion, I have been having powerful dreams. Most the frog-eaters I know would not understand but you were always different and might. My dreams tell me I am not going to be in this world much longer. I believe that I will be passing into the next world soon. This may be good because if it is an Indian afterworld there will not be so many frog-eater automobiles and I will be with people of my own kind. That is a good thing because I have become an old man and lonely. Your uncle has become an old man and lonely, too. We were partners all our lives and now we will soon share death, too, which may be the first time I ever heard Tucker quiet for more than a few hours. That is why I write. Judge Flowers is supposed to send these papers to Tuck’s daughter after Tuck and Sinclair Benton die. If my dreams have been wrong, and I am still alive when you read this, come get me right away so we can go straight to Cat Island, which will save you a lot of time. Your uncle cannot do anything the simple way. We both know that. This time he has a reason, though, and it’s not just some crazy trick. At least I think he’s got a reason and not just being tricky again. You will find out for yourself, and maybe we will find out together. If I am dead when you read this, good luck. There are a couple of things I’d like you to know. You have met your cousin, Ransom, who has a strong heart. I doubt if your uncle told you that you also might have a cousin who lives in Cuba. He fathered a son there. Or I might have fathered the son. We’ve never seen the child enough to be sure, but the boy’s mama was romantic with us both. That was often the way when we was on the trail. Something else you don’t seem to know is that Tucker Gatrell is like Ransom. He has a heart that is strong and good. He may be a drunken liar and half crazy but he is a decent man, plus my partner, and always will be. I hope you will honor his wishes, Marion. He’s always felt real bad about how things turned out. Sincerely, Your Friend