“I cannot go to Shadows Fall,” said Merlin. “And no, I’m not going to tell you why. I’ll just say… you’d think such a proud, ancient, and legendary town would have more of a sense of humour about… certain things. I’ll stay here and keep Lilith’s attention focused on me. I’m pretty sure I can set up a glamour, to fool her into thinking Taylor’s still here with me. For a while, anyway…”
I looked at Julien Advent. “I really could use your help on this one, Julien…”
But he was already shaking his head. “I’m sorry, John. It’s my responsibility to protect the Nightside, not risk my life on such a long shot. I’ll help Walker run the resistance. I have contacts and associates and Beings who owe me favours that even he doesn’t know about.”
“I wouldn’t put money on that,” said Walker. “But thanks, Julien. I could use someone level-headed around here.”
“Who’s he looking at?” Alex said loudly. “I don’t know what he’s talking about. Like to see him run a dive like this. I can feel one of my funny turns coming on.”
In his own way, he was trying to cheer us up. I looked at Cathy before she could say anything.
“No,” I said, “you can’t come with me. You’d have to kill or be killed out there, and I won’t have that on my conscience.”
She nodded jerkily. Her eyes were full of tears she refused to shed. “You come back safe,” she said. “Or I’ll never forgive you.”
“I’ll keep an eye on her,” said Ms. Fate. “She’s stronger than you know.”
“You keep her safe,” I said. “Or I’ll come back from my death to haunt your Bat-cave.”
“You probably would, too,” said Ms. Fate. “I wish I could go with you, but I know my limitations. Good luck, Taylor.”
And that left Dead Boy. He scowled, shook his head, and finally shrugged. “Oh hell, why not? I could use a little excitement. Where did I put that duct tape…?”
“I could use my gift to transport you right to the station entrance,” Tommy said suddenly.
“No, you couldn’t,” I said. “Lilith will be looking for that. If she even guesses I’m heading for Shadows Fall, she’ll stop me.”
And that was that. People finished their drinks, said their good-byes, and set about preparing themselves for what was to come. Shotgun Suzie took me to one side, and looked at me solemnly. She put a leather-gloved hand on my chest and let it rest there, like a butterfly on a wall.
“I wanted us to have a moment together,” she said, in her cold calm voice. “Because… things can always go wrong, and we might not get a chance to say a proper good-bye, later. We’ve been through so much together, and if this is it, well… I need to say something to you, John. You… matter to me. No-one’s mattered to me for a long time. Not even me. Perhaps especially not me. But you… made me want to live again. So I could share my life with you. I care for you, John. I wanted you to know that.”
“I knew that, Suzie…”
“Shut up and let me say this. It isn’t easy. I love you, John Taylor, and I always will.”
She made herself hug me. Her leather jacket creaked loudly as she put her arms around me, and her bandoliers of bullets pressed hard against my chest. She put her head forward, and deliberately pressed her unscarred cheek against mine. Flesh to flesh. I held her gently, as though she was brittle and might break. I could feel the effort involved, in what she was doing, of how much strength it took her to do a simple thing like this, and I was so proud of her I could hardly get my breath.
“If we do both make it out of this alive,” she said, very quietly, her mouth right next to my ear, “I can’t promise I’ll ever be able to be a woman for you, John. But I will try.”
“Suzie… it doesn’t matter…”
“Yes it does! It matters to me. Do you love me, John?”
“Of course I love you, Suzie. Now and forever, and all the times between. I’d die for you, if I had to.”
“I’d much rather you lived for me.”
She let go of me and stood back. I let go of her immediately. I knew better than to push it. She looked at me, her face apparently entirely unmoved.
“I know about the future Suzie. I know what happened to her, here in this bar. You can’t keep secrets in a dump like this. You mustn’t worry about it, John. The future is what we make it.”
“That’s what worries me,” I said.
And so, finally, I led my brave little band of heroes out of the bar. Shotgun Suzie, Razor Eddie, Tommy Oblivion, and Dead Boy. I eased open the door, slowly, silently, and one by one we crept out into the narrow cobble-stoned back alley. It smelled really bad. The piled-up bodies I’d expected from Suzie’s defence were gone, and it was best not to wonder where, but the blood and gore remained, splashed up the alley walls and soaking the cobbled ground. The air was hot and heavy, thick with old smoke, and an overbearing sense of a world running down, of things coming to an end. There were screams and roars and howls, all the sounds of death and destruction, horror and fury. The Nightside might be going down for the last time, but it sure as hell wasn’t going down quietly. I set off down the alley at a steady pace, ignoring the blood splashing under my shoes, trying hard to radiate confidence and a strong sense of purpose.
Suzie was right there at my side, shotgun at the ready, happy and smiling like a woman on her way to a really good party. Tommy and Eddie and Dead Boy moved along with us, and together we made our way to the end of the alley and looked cautiously out into the main street.
Fires blazed everywhere. Dead vehicles sprawled the length of the road, overturned and abandoned. A hearse had been broken apart from the inside out, and a taxi lay on its side with a wooden stake hammered through its engine block. Maddened crowds swept back and forth under a flickering twilight of burning buildings and half-smashed neon signs, attacking everything in sight. The noises they made didn’t sound human any more. Reason had been blasted from their minds, by loss and horror and Lilith’s will, leaving them only the most basic instincts and emotions. Men and women killed and ate each other, while monsters roamed freely, killing where they would and exhausting their various appetites on the fallen. Lilith was softening the Nightside up, before she went in for the kill. And because she enjoyed it.
“How the hell are we supposed to get to Cheyne Walk through that?” said Tommy.
“I’d suggest running,” said Suzie.
“I’d also strongly suggest killing anything that isn’t us,” said Dead Boy.
“Works for me,” said Razor Eddie. “But… loath as I am to be the voice of reason in this group, I really don’t like the odds out there. Too many of them, too few of us. Enough hyenas will bring down even the strongest lions. If we have to fight for every step of the way, they’ll drag us down long before we get anywhere near Cheyne Walk.”
“We can’t hit them head-on,” I said. “In fact, we can’t afford to be noticed at all. Lilith is bound to have people out there looking for me. Once she knows I’ve left Strangefellows and Merlin’s protections, she’ll come straight for me. So, Tommy, you’re up.”
“What?” said Tommy. “What?”
“Use your gift to hide us. Or at least hide our identities. Such a small use of your gift should slide past Lilith unnoticed.”
“Yes,” said Tommy, after a moment. “I think I could do that…”
He frowned, concentrating. It took him a while, to force his mind to deal with only one thing and ignore the madness and horror around him, but finally I could sense his gift firing up, as he imposed his existential will upon the world. Slowly and carefully, moment by moment, we became as uncertain as he thought we were, until the world couldn’t decide whether we really were there or not, and even if we were, it couldn’t make up its mind about who we were. I could feel Tommy’s gift all around us, like a fog of possibilities. Everywhere I looked, it was like seeing through a heat haze, as though we were out of synch with our surroundings. I took that as a good sign and made myself concentrate on the only thing that really mattered—getting to Cheyne Walk Station.