I was both happy and completely miserable at the same time. My in-laws were little help. Thai Dei, as ever, said almost nothing. Uncle Doj merely urged me to be strong. "Death and despair are what we endure all our lives. This world is all one of pain and loss illuminated only briefly by moments of happiness and wonder. We must live for those times, not bemoan their passing."
"We must live for revenge," Mother Gota snapped. "You old fool." She was contemptuous as she glared at me. Nor did she spare my feelings. "My mother was a madwoman in her last days. We will be well rid of this weakling."
Being a weakling and not much caring for this world anymore, I did not feel obliged to keep the peace. "I bet that back in the swamp they thank their lucky stars every night that you decided not to come home."
Thai Dei became pure stone as I put him in a spot where his obligations had to butt heads.
Uncle Doj chuckled. He rested a hand on Thai Dei's arm. "A shaft well sped, youngster. Gota, I must remind you that we are here on sufferance. The Stone Soldier accepts us for Sahra's sake. His master does not."
Though I have a pretty good handle on Nyueng Bao these days I knew I had missed some key part of that. I did understand that he was telling her not to piss Croaker off because he might toss them out. And that was something he could perfectly well do. He considered them little more than camp followers. And Croaker hates camp followers. He considers them worse than leeches.
I had to wonder if Uncle Doj was not interested in something more than just revenge for the murders of Sahra and Thai Dei's son To Tan.
I am not certain where we were. I think about eighty miles south of Dejagore and passing over into territories only recently taken into our hands, where our appearance was endured with the same stoicism as the earthquake. Not much cleaning up had gotten done because the Shadowmaster's henchmen had employed the locals in a vain attempt to blunt our advance. Brave fools. Now there was no one to bury them.
Total paranoia hit me there.
I was unaware of the fact because I was in the wagon but we were just making camp. I was out scouting the maneuvers of Mogaba's cavalry and sitting in on his planning session for making our lives much more unpleasant at Charandaprash. I had a sneer in my heart. He would not have a single surprise for us. From having watched Lady and all the special forces she and Croaker had put together I knew we would have plenty for Mogaba.
Bright man, he expected that. He got to know Croaker pretty well before he deserted to the Shadowmaster.
Then the paranoia hit. Smugness evaporated. Had I been in flesh I would have begun to shake as though suddenly thrown into an icy river. I knew I was not alone.
I would have panicked except for the dullness of emotion out there. I did do a sort of sudden spin around on the spirit level.
For a second I thought I saw a face, not directed my way.
It was a face out of a collective nightmare, as big as a cow, the color of ripe eggplant. Its smile was all fangs. And it was smiling at whatever it saw.
Its eyes were plates of fire that, at the same time, seemed to be pools of darkness capable of drowning souls.
I withdrew, very carefully at first, but in full flight toward the safety of reality when the face seemed suddenly startled and began to turn. I emerged too terrified to be hungry or thirsty. I was shaking and babbling and making no sense at all. The Old Man was close by. One-Eye had him in the wagon by the time I got myself under control.
"What the hell happened, Murgen? You have some kind of fit? You going to start going away again on me?" He touched me, felt the shakes that still went right down to the heart of me. "One-Eye... "
I croaked out, "I just saw Kina. I don't know if she saw me."
Death is eternity. Eternity is stone. Stone is silence. Stone speaketh not but stone doth remember. Deep within the dark heart of the grey fastness stands a massive throne of worm-eaten wood. This throne has shifted sideways and tilted dramatically. A dark shape sprawls upon the throne, locked in enchanted slumber, nailed down by silver daggers driven through its limbs. Its once vacant face is drawn in agony.
The figure draws a deep breath. Silence yields to a great slow rumbling beat.
This is immortality of a sort but its price is paid in diamonds of pain, in treasure by the bucket.
In the night, when the wind no longer blows and small shadows no longer creep, the fortress reclaims its silence.
Silence is stone. Stone is eternity. Eternity is death.
12
South of Shadowlight, which offered no resistance, the land rose and became gorsy, stony, and as wrinkled as my mother-in-law's face. Snow lurked wherever sunlight seldom fell. Trees were scattered but of a variety that clung stubbornly to some of its fruit throughout the winter. That fruit was tough and dry but it grew tastier as we moved farther from civilization and anyplace where we could acquire more palatable foods. The route the Captain insisted we follow was one that had received very little preparation. And there were no navigable waterways up which barges could carry supplies.
We had cattle along. The animals could sustain themselves poorly off the vegetation. Those of us willing to eat flesh could gnaw on their stringy meat. But we were just getting started here and already I was convinced that Croaker had made the wrong choice, attacking now.
Those soldiers who were vegetarians suffered terribly.
The morning wind had a real bite. This definitely was no season for travel. We could end up in real trouble if Mogaba held us up for long.
That might be a good strategy for him to pursue. Just hold us at Charandaprash while all our forces came together, with all their camp followers, then continue to hold us there while we exhausted our resources. Then he could slaughter the starving remnants as they tried to flee.
Though he never mentioned it in so many words, part of Croaker's plan was to replenish our army by seizing supplies Mogaba had laid in for his. The Captain very much counted on victory now, soon, however cautiously he talked.
He had put us in a position where there was no other choice.
The region around Shadowlight remained prosperous even after the earthquake but already that was four hard days' march behind us. Our foragers were eating up half what they gathered just bringing it in.
Longshadow remained unconvinced that our advance was for real. He had a distinct problem imagining minds working differently from his own. Mogaba entertained doubts himself though the Deceivers and his own agents kept him informed of all the disasters to the Shadowmaster's cause. Few of the quake-battered towns and cities made more than token attempts to resist. The Captain had chosen his moment well, if emotionally.
Dark grey-indigo mountains spanned the southern horizon. Charandaprash was just days away. The Captain slowed our advance to a very deliberate pace so the soldiers would have more time to hunt and forage. Our part of the army began coming together in larger and larger forces. Mogaba's cavalry did not seem much inclined to skirmish yet. Ahead of us streamers of smoke sometimes rose as fleeing enemy caravans failed to run fast enough to outdistance our own horsemen.
Our headquarters party clung to the road. Always, now, there seemed to be corpses lying beside it. They came in all varieties, few of them being our own people.
Croaker had forced me out of One-Eye's wagon. I was no longer allowed inside while we were moving. So I led the way, mounted atop that giant black stallion, always presenting the Black Company standard. Crows were around constantly. I expect Soulcatcher, wherever she took their reports, was thoroughly amused. The standard was one we had adapted from one she had assigned us decades ago, based upon her own fire-breathing skull of a seal.