She Is The Darkness

"We going to be able to control him?"

"Oh yeah. You've seen statues of dead generals that had more freedom of action than she's left him."

Lady looked up from her work. She wore the tiniest of smiles but it betrayed the confident amusement of an old, old evil. She is the darkness. Smoke was for sure right about that.

I said, "Wouldn't we be better off if we moved into Overlook?"

"Maybe. And we might do that. Once we get straightened out and know where everybody is. And figure out where, for right now, their loyalties lie."

"Speaking of which. Uncle Doj is back. He's out there helping my mother-in-law and acting like he was never gone."

"I heard."

"I'm wondering how he managed to survive. Especially last night."

Lady looked at me like I had sparked a surprise thought. She said, "Watch Howler. Call me if he moves. I'll be right outside." She hurried out the doorway.

I looked at Croaker. He shrugged. "I don't ask anymore."

"She looks pretty ragged."

"Don't we all? But maybe we'll get to rest up now. If we get the Shadowgate under control there won't be anybody to aggravate us for a long time. If ever."

Mogaba was out there. But he had no patron anymore. That meant that nobody could cover his ass magically. He would have to back off. And the Prahbrindrah Drah might not live long enough to become a problem. He had to evade both shadows and Goblin to reach friendly territory. And even so-called-friendly territory would not be very friendly if he could not pull together a band big enough to look out for itself. Peasants are notoriously cruel to fleeing soldiers when they catch them at a disadvantage. Possibly that is because soldiers are so cruel to peasants when the advantage lies in their hands, though many from the hyperrefined warrior classes have insisted it springs from the beastly nature of the peasantry.

"Can you get over to the Shadowgate?"

"Me? Now?"

"You. Now. Before dark. Carrying the standard. To test my theory about what it is. And to help cover the troops there if I'm right."

"I can try. But I'm in pretty lousy shape."

"You could ride."

That was asking for another set of galled spots entirely but he was right.

With a slightly nasty smile he observed, "You could have your understudy do it for you if you had one."

So he knew Sleepy was missing. I needed to check on the kid first chance I got.

Lady pushed back inside. She was not a big woman but she had a big presence. I was always surprised when I saw her after a separation because I always remembered her about a foot taller. She told me, "Your friend Doj isn't just a priest from some obscure cult. He's a sorcerer. Very minor. Less than One-Eye in ability. But he's carrying something—an amulet, an artifact, what exactly I couldn't determine—that protects him from shadows."

Croaker looked at me like I ought to have known all about that years ago. "I don't know, boss. This's the first I've heard about it." Though I had always suspected that Uncle Doj might be able to do something besides crochet with a sword. In fact, his skills with a blade always did seem almost magically augmented. How could a guy pull off something like that attack on the Deceivers at Charandaprash without getting swamped by sheer weight of numbers?

I do not know why but I told Lady, "My wife isn't dead. The Deceivers never touched her when they raided our apartment. Thai Dei and Doj and some cousins took her away, then told me she was dead. They also convinced her that I was dead while they were taking her back to the swamp. They've got her stashed in a temple there now, where she won't embarrass them by being pregnant. Doj and Gota don't want us two together. They only ever put up with it at all because Gota's parents insisted." Sarie, her family and the Nyueng Bao were not something I had discussed with Lady before. I never talked with her much about anything except stuff that needed to go into the Annals or the stuff that she had written there that needed clarification.

She checked Howler again while she listened to my chatter. She suggested, "Tell me all about this. I've always had a feeling that there was something going on."

Yeah? Right. Her and everybody else smart enough not to eat dirt.

Croaker went to the doorway and stuck his head out. He popped back inside. "Hey. Why didn't you say it'd stopped raining? Maybe I can get these assholes to move a little faster now." Out he went. I felt for him. He looked even more worn out than I felt.

I said, "I did tell him."

"He doesn't always listen. Talk to me about the Nyueng Bao."

I talked. Lady listened. She asked sharp questions. I returned the favor at times, when we touched on anything I thought I wanted to know.

She said, "I want to know about your dreams, too."

"They're different than yours. I think."

"I know. How they're different might mean a lot."

We talked a long time. But not long enough for me to get out of trekking over to the Shadowgate with the goddamn standard.

76

Horses were in short supply. Most that had not gotten eaten had been killed by shadows the previous night. And were getting eaten now. I ended up borrowing Lady's mount. Croaker never said a word. He did not have to. Down the road somewhere I was going to pay.

Thai Dei got up behind me. Lady's stallion, which was used to lugging only her hundred and a few pounds, plus armor occasionally, glared over his shoulder. I told the beast, "It's only for a little ways. I promise."

The Old Division and some of Lady's troops had moved into camp below the Shadowgate. Tensions were obvious as we rode in. A lot of faces were less than friendly. These were men who had stayed with the Company mainly because their chances of survival were better with us than away from us. Twilight was not far off, though, so no one was inclined to belligerence.

I decided not to tell anybody why I had brought the standard.

Word spread fast. Company brothers came out to see if there was anything special in the wind. I ran into people I had not seen for months. Some, even, whom I had not seen since we had left Taglios.

Sindawe and Isi appeared. They thought something big had to be up since I had come out of my hole. I could see how they might have gotten that odd notion. My job had kept me close to Smoke for a long time.

Ochiba materialized. He and the other two Nar were the senior officers outside the Shadowgate. All the most senior Taglians had deserted. They had respected their obligations to their prince.

I suspected they would regret choosing to maintain their honor. If they had not done so already, last night.

Sindawe caught the stallion's reins. Thai Dei and I dismounted. Everybody waited for me to say something. I just shrugged. I pulled my pants away from my burning thigh. Riding had been no improvement. Just as I had predicted. "Don't ask me why I'm here. The Old Man said to come. So I came. What he's up to is his secret."

"So what else is new?" Big Bucket asked. "He ever does say what's what, nobody will believe him."

I glanced around. The ground there was harder than it was back across the way. It was also dryer. Most of the shelters, therefore, were aboveground. The camp gave poverty and squalor a bad name. I saw the ensigns and pennons of battalions that had, a year ago, been renowned for their spit and polish. I asked, "Is morale really this bad?"

"It is over here."

"From what I hear the New Division suffered fewer casualties than anybody last night."

Sindawe observed, "You've been in this business most of your life, Standardbearer. You know morale can have little to do with the facts of a situation. Perceptions are more critical."