He studied the lines of her delicate face as if etching each detail to memory. “You have no idea how difficult it is for me to open up to new people. I’m always searching for their hidden agendas. Do you know what I’m saying? So much of my life is public. The little bit that remains private is really hard for me to expose. I hate to be that cynical but I guess it comes with the territory. It’s difficult for me to trust, and that’s probably because I’ve been screwed too many times in the past.”
Annie leaned in closer to him. “Do you think I have an agenda?”
A sly grin appeared on his chiseled face. “My gut instinct tells me no.”
“Good, I’m glad you think that because I don’t have an agenda,” she said.
Michael smiled lazily at her. For some reason he was able to relax with her which was rare for him. It felt comfortable, like he’d known her all his life. It felt right. They continued to stare at one another in total silence, their eyes liquid and smoldering. He wanted to touch her so badly. It was pure torture being this close to her and not touching. Finally, unable to handle the mounting sexual tension, Michael turned away.
“Are your parents still living?” he asked, desperately trying to get his mind off her mouth.
Annie stiffened. “No,” she answered quickly, suddenly nervous where the conversation was drifting.
“My father died when I was in my early twenties,” Michael stated. “And I lost my Mom a couple of years ago.”
Annie nodded. “I think I read something about that.”
“What about your brother?” he asked. “You mentioned something the other night about a younger brother.”
“He’s gone too,” Annie replied.
“Really? Wow.”
Annie shifted uneasily on the couch. Then her head dropped into her lap. “I don't like telling people this because when I do people tend to look at me differently and get all sympathetic when it really isn't necessary. It was a long time ago. I think Gary is the only one that knows the full story.”
“You don’t have to tell me, Annie. I was only trying to get to know you better. That’s all.”
Annie tipped her head back and gazed out the window. “I lost my family when I was fifteen. It was a car accident and I was thrown from the car,” she said quietly. “I was the only one that survived.” She raised her eyes to his. “Like I said, it was a long time ago.”
He was silent for a moment, choosing his words carefully. He sensed there was a lot more to that story but also knew it was none of his business and decided not to push the subject. “Even still, I’m guessing that really shaped your life.”
Annie refolded her legs. “It’s safe to say, I’ve been taking care of myself since I was fifteen.”
He took a sip of his water and set the glass back on the coffee table. “I have a brother, but we’re not close.”
Annie cocked her head in surprise. “Really? I’ve never heard you mention him in interviews.”
He smiled. “We’re not close,” he laughed. “His name is Tom. He’s eight years older than me and did everything right. He was my mother’s favorite and a big bone of contention between her and I. He was the stereotypical over achiever: college graduate, still married to his first wife, had kids that my mother could actually see, and became a college professor at Columbia University in New York City. Kind of hard to compete with that.”
Annie touched his arm thoughtfully. “How could you say that, with all the awards you’ve won and the success you achieved with your music?”
Michael inhaled deeply. “My mother only chose to see the long haired musician and recovering addict side of me. Sure, I got married, but then I got divorced. I gave her a grandson, but she never got to see him.” He glanced off toward the bedroom. “No matter what I did, it always paled against what my brother did.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
He shrugged. “Don’t be. Families suck. I spent most of my life trying to prove myself to her. Now that she’s gone, I realize the only person I had anything to prove to was myself.”
“That’s very true,” she replied.
He looked back at her and grinned.
Annie shook her head and stiffened again. “The fifteen years I had with my family were hell. My father was a drunk: a really mean drunk. He was a liar and a cheat, treated my mother like shit, and verbally abused us all. We were constantly moving because he could never keep a job. In some ways, it was a relief to be away from him.”
Tears spilled from her eyes. “I do miss my brother though. He would have gotten a kick out of my music career.”
Michael wiped the moisture from her cheeks.
“This is depressing. Can we talk about something else?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“So why did you get divorced?” he asked.
“Wow! That’s a bit direct - and another depressing subject.”
He quickly turned to look at her. “That’s probably too personal. Never mind.”
Annie tipped her head nervously. “No, I don’t mind answering. It’s really pretty simple,” she said with indifference. “Gary had a weakness for groupies.”
Michael stifled a laugh.
“You’re smiling, so let me guess, you have a weakness for groupies too,” she said.
Michael shook his head. “Hardly. But groupies are a by-product of the business, Annie. They’ll always be there. You can ignore them for so long, but sooner or later…”
“So, that justifies cheating?” Annie’s back began to stiffen.
“No, it doesn’t make it right, it just is what it is.”
“That’s bullshit. If you really loved someone it would be easy not to cheat.”
“Yes, I suppose so. But I’m willing to bet you’ve had a few male groupies panting over you from time to time at a show,” he said.
Her eyes shifted toward the kitchen. “I've had male and female groupies hit on me.”
“And you were never tempted?” he asked.
“I didn’t say that.” Her eyes slammed back into his. “Okay, yes, I did it one time and I’ll never do it again. I found out the hard way that I’m not a one-night stand kind of girl. The intimacy means too much to me. I did it purely for revenge. I wanted Gary to know the kind of hurt he was making me feel every time I caught him with someone back-stage.”
“Did Gary get jealous?” he asked, the grin fading from his mouth.
“Yes, he did. But, in the end, it didn’t matter to me that I had hurt him. I was too disgusted with myself. I vowed then I’d never demean myself like that again. When I got home the next morning I packed what I could in a suitcase and left Gary, and that was the end of it. I filed for divorce a couple of weeks later.”
“You mentioned something about a drummer?”
Annie met his gaze. Her eyes stung with tears from reliving the memories of Gary’s infidelity. “I feel like you’re interviewing me.”
“That would be a switch; me being the interviewer.” He reached out and took her hand in his, kissing the knuckles. “I’m sorry. Forget about it. None of this is really any of my business. I hate it when people pry into my personal shit.”
“I met Joe after I left Gary. He was different from most men, he made me feel good about myself; which is something Gary never learned how to do. It lasted about six months. Short and sweet.”
“What happened?”
“One of our gigs got canceled so I decided to surprise him and show up at his show. Instead, I got the surprise. I caught him in the back room with a girl and that was the last time I saw him.”
Michael quietly gasped: “Wow.”