“Take care of yourself, Rei! Please don’t get sick again!” Courtney called after me as I got to my feet and unsteadily walked into the house.
IN MY BATHROOM, I locked the door and leaned against it, ready to fight off anyone who might come after me. I put the lid down on the toilet and sat there with my head in my hands, unable to stop crying. This was nothing to get upset about-a comedy of errors, really. I’d apologize to Hugh as soon as he arrived.
There was a knock at the door, followed by my father’s voice. “You are justified in being upset with Edwin. But, please, look at the bright side of the situation.”
“How can there be a bright side to this…embarrassment?”
“You were once engaged to Hugh, and separated under unhappy terms. Now is a chance for closure. Rei, please let me in.”
I reached out and turned the doorknob, allowing my father in. He caught sight of my tear-streaked face, and his concerned expression grew. He beckoned me into his arms and I finally went.
“I’m just not ready for this to happen now,” I said into his shoulder. “I obviously have to see Hugh because he’s flown all the way here, but I feel really bad about it. He’s married and happy, and I’m still alone. It’s all so awkward.”
“This family would much rather have you alive and temporarily unhappy than to have you dead, with your pride intact. I’m sure Hugh will feel similarly.”
“Thanks for the kind thought,” I said sarcastically.
“I have many more of these thoughts, Rei-chan. We never know the way that fate will operate. Hugh is on an airplane right now, traveling to hold the hand of someone he fears is dying. Imagine his happiness and relief upon arrival, to hear from Edwin that you have recovered enough to leave the hospital. And what if the words you offer him are generous-go happily with the woman you love, for I am happy in my new life, too?”
I rolled my eyes. “Otoosan, that’s not the way I would speak to anyone.”
“Use your own words, then.”
I struggled for a minute. “I wish I could say that I’m happy, because I finally realize how much I have: my family, my friends, the ability to live anywhere in the world because I don’t have to worry about a mortgage or car payments. Some people might say I have a net worth of zero, but the reality is I have zero responsibilities, and that’s liberating.”
“Turn your statement around,” my father said quietly. “Could it be that because you have no responsibilities, you hunger for them? Is this the reason you labor mightily to take on everyone’s troubles as your own?”
“That’s not quite true, Otoosan. You’re the one who asked me to look into the business about Harue’s house, when I was ready to spend my days here swimming and reading.”
“It’s not the only thing you’ve done. You also helped your great-uncle by compassionately listening to his stories of the past, and you are helping your cousin Braden as much as anyone can, in this difficult circumstance.”
“Actually, I’d say Michael is the one who’s really done a lot of that work. I won’t take credit.”
“And why is it that Michael has done so much for the Shimura family?” My father’s voice was soft.
“Loyalty to me,” I said, without hesitation.
“And what have you done for him?”
“Excuse me?” I looked at my father suspiciously.
“Maybe the only responsibility you are shirking is the one you have to Michael.”
“But you don’t think he’s suitable,” I reminded him.
“I never used those words,” my father said. “I’ll admit to you that I disliked the way he allowed everyone to initially believe he was someone he wasn’t, but now I understand. You see, when we were all waiting in the hospital for news, and learned about the poisoning, Michael became extremely…agitated. He questioned the doctors and exhibited an unusual knowledge of toxicology.”
“He would know about drugs,” I said. “But it doesn’t mean he uses them, Dad, he’s the straightest arrow I know.”
“Agreed. When I confronted Michael about this behavior, he asked me to walk outside for a shaved ice. As we drank our ices, he explained about his work, and yours. He was concerned that you might never have a chance to tell me. I’m not happy about the risks involved in the work, but I understand the work you did with him had great meaning for the future of this country-and its relationship with Japan.”
“OCI is all in the past,” I said. “All I ever wanted to do is work with Japanese antiques. After this vacation, I’m getting back on track. For real,” I added, then laughed. I was picking up Hawaiian slang.
“I shall leave you to rest now, but I think more of Michael for telling me what he did. He’s a good man, Rei, and I regret giving you any other impression.”
“Oh?” This was magnanimous of my father, to say he’d been wrong about something.
“Yes, I was wrong. And you’re thirty years old now, my dear. Behave within reason, but don’t be afraid to follow your heart.”
26
I WAS SORTING through the few remaining clean dresses in my closet, wondering what I should wear to confront my own past and future, when my cell phone rang. It was Michael on the other end.
“Brooks,” I said, relief flooding through me like a gentle anesthetic. As awkward as things might be in a few hours time with Hugh, I would step into the Sebring at seven o’clock for my long-anticipated dinner date with Michael. I’d tell him everything, and he’d help me get over it. And then we’d have fun.
“I’m glad you answered-I was having trouble with reception earlier, because I’m on the North Shore. Are they going to let you out of Queen’s today?”
“You must not have heard that they let me go. I’m home, and you caught me in my room, figuring out what to wear tonight, if you’re still interested in dinner.”
“Of course. The reservation is on the late side, though. Do you think you can stay up till nine? Are you truly feeling fine?”
“Yes and no. My body’s more or less back to normal, but I’m a bit anxious about something.”
“And why’s that, honey?”
He used the endearment without any strategic reason-just affection, which made my revelation all the harder. “A visitor I never expected is coming to see me today. I’m not really in the mood to face him.”
“Kainoa?” Michael’s voice darkened.
“Actually, it’s someone flying in from Tokyo. Hugh.”
“Who?”
“Hugh! Hugh Glendenning, my ex. Edwin conned him into flying over here from Japan, saying I was deathly ill. I think it was all a way to get another person working on Braden’s legal defense.”
“If you didn’t invite him, then why would you see him?” Michael’s voice was tight.
I was speechless for a moment, then said, “Of course I’ll see him. I must explain about what Edwin did and make some apologies, at least.”
Michael was silent for a while, causing me to think our connection had broken. At last he spoke. “If you see Hugh, it’s over.”
“What’s over?” I asked.
Michael paused, then said, “This thing we have.”
Now I was mad. “Michael, you and I have never gotten past first base, so you’re a fine one to talk about having any kind of relationship, and I’m not hoping to rekindle anything with Hugh. He’s happily married to a beautiful actress and flew here intending to absolve me of all my past sins, or something like that, at my bedside as I lie dying-”
“He flew out here because he’s still in love with you, Rei.” Michael’s voice was somber. “When he finds out you’re OK, he’s not going to be content at the side of your bed, either.”
“I’m not going to be in bed, OK? I’m up and well and walking around,” I protested. “Come on, Michael. I didn’t have to tell you this at all, but I did it because-”