“No, somewhere we can't be watched."
He glanced at her curiously. He had never asked Blessing whether his office was monitored, but in all probability it was; that was standard for all rooms in Earther buildings, even the lavatories. He had become accustomed to the idea-just as he had become accustomed to Earther lavatories and the incredible amounts of water they used. Kwam? had assured him that all the water was purified and re-used, not simply wasted, but it had still taken him weeks to adjust to the idea of intentionally polluting water with his own wastes.
He had adjusted, though, and now he was bothered by the smell whenever he had to use Godsworlder facilities, and annoyed by the inconvenience of carrying a communicator with him when outside headquarters, rather than being able to talk to anyone he chose simply by addressing the ceiling.
Miriam said she was working for Dawes, and wanted complete privacy; it was easy to guess that whatever was to be said to him was something Bechtel-Rand did not want ITD to hear. That might be interesting; it might well be something he could use against Bechtel-Rand.
“All right,” he said, “I know a hollow over in the rocks.” He pointed with one hand and slipped the other into his pocket, checking the settings on his communicator and trying to decide whether or not to use it to record the conversation.
Miriam nodded, and he led the way up to where a rocky shelf jutted out from the hillside. A piece had broken off and slid down the slope a few yards, leaving a gap where they would be sheltered on three sides.
When they reached the spot, John turned expectantly to Miriam.
“What is it?” he asked.
“What's in your pocket?” she demanded.
“What?"
“You shouldn't wear your jeans tight, like the Earthers, if you want to hide things in the pockets-I can see you've got something there. What is it?"
Reluctantly, he pulled out the communicator. She snatched it away and tossed it down the hillside.
“You can fetch it back later, if you want,” she told him.
“All right, then,” he said. “You've got your privacy, Ms. Humble; what is it you wanted to tell me?"
“The People of Heaven hired me to come and talk with you because they were pretty sure you'd talk to me, where you might not talk to one of their own people. I'm not saying I like what they're doing, but they're paying me enough to buy my own inn, if I want, so here I am."
“What is it?"
“I just want you to understand I'm not here on my own-I'd given up my revenge. I think you deserve this, but it's not my doing."
“What isn't your doing? Darn it, woman, will you get to the point?"
“They don't want you working for ITD any more; they want you to break up this Free Trade Federation if you can, but whether you do that or not, they want you to go away from here. They don't like having a native Godsworlder running things for ITD here-it's making ITD look good and the Heaveners look bad, especially when it's you, the man who fought the Earthers for so long. It makes it look like ITD belongs on Godsworld more than the Heaveners do."
“Maybe it does."
“I don't know, maybe it does-but that's not the point. Ms. Dawes wants you to stop working for ITD. She doesn't care what you do after that-her job offer is still open, she says, or you can just go home, or whatever, just stay away from ITD."
“Why should I? I don't owe her any favors!"
“She'll pay you."
“ITD is paying me, and they can match anything she can offer."
“All right, then; I was hoping it wouldn't go this far. Do you know what a videodrome is?"
“Of course-Mr. Blessing is thinking of building one here."
“Ms. Dawes has built one in the Citadel, and she's going to open it to the public tomorrow, free of charge. And if you're still in Savior's Grace, the first tape she'll have shown is the one of you and Tuesday Ikeya; she's had copies made, and one will go to every town in the protectorate. You'll be a laughingstock."
John stared at her silently for a long moment. “You think so?” he said at last.
“Of course! The great warrior, humbled by a mere woman!"
“I don't think that's how it'll look, Miriam. I think that if you hadn't seen that tape while you still hated me you'd know that."
Suddenly uncertain, Miriam asked, “What do you mean?"
“Think about it. The Earthers are planning to show Godsworlders an obscene tape-first off, how many do you think will actually watch it? How many of them will dare admit they watched it? Most places on Godsworld strong men still blanch when one of our saleswomen adjusts her collar; do you think they'll watch a tape of a perverted rape? And you think that if they do, after watching me and this naked slut of an Earthwoman, they'll think the worse of me but not of her?"
“No, but Tuesday isn't here any more; she doesn't matter."
“Doesn't she? Do you think that your ordinary Godsworlder will think that? He'll see an Earthwoman wallowing in decadent lust. Do you think he'll say, ‘oh, that's just this one pervert'? No, he'll say, ‘I knew those Earthers were bad!’”
“But John, they'll see you naked!"
“No, they won't; she didn't get my clothes off."
“No, I mean they'll see… see you!"
“They'll see a lot more of her, as I remember it."
She stared at him. “What kind of a man are you? You can stop the tape from being shown, and you won't? You don't care if half the population of the world watches you rutting like an animal?"
“No, actually-I don't care. I suppose I should, but it hardly even seems as if I'm the same person I was then. I was naive and ignorant, like most Godsworlders; I'm not any more."
“You're still a Godsworlder."
“Am I? I haven't attended services in months; the minister here doesn't like me, and I don't like him. I'm not a member of any tribe; the True Worders have disowned me. I live here in the Earther headquarters, like an Earther myself-I eat their foods and I use their furniture."
“You're still a Christian, with morals…"
“Am I? I'm not sure about that. Look, I followed the rules in my tribe for all of my life; I thought we had the one true path, God's intended way, and that anyone who lived differently was wrong, evil, lost-and that all those people would have to be miserable, suffering for their sins, that the only joy was to be found in Christ. Isn't that what you were taught?"
“Yes, of course!"
“Well, it's not true. The Earthers live just as they please, and they don't suffer for it. God doesn't punish them. They don't know Christ, but they're happy, happier than anyone I ever knew before they came. They're comfortable-not just physically, either, they're comfortable with each other and with themselves, most of them. They don't worry about sin. Maybe they'll all burn in hell, I don't know, but in this life they're better off than Godsworlders, and a lot of it is because they don't worry about things like sin and righteousness. I'm not going to worry about strangers watching that tape-if I ever had any reputation for chastity or dignity it doesn't matter any more. I am going to worry about going on with my work. I don't like Bechtel-Rand, and I don't like America Dawes. Let her show the tape; if things get too rough for me here on Godsworld I'll leave."
“What?"
“You heard me; if Bechtel-Rand makes me unwelcome on Godsworld there are plenty of other worlds out there."
“You mean leave Godsworld? But you can't! This is your home!"
“Is it? I don't think I have a home any more. Stephen Christ-is-Risen went somewhere else when the Heaveners ruined his home; I can do the same. Listen, Miriam-you tell America Dawes that she can run that tape if she wants, but I'm not leaving ITD, and it'll hurt her business more than it'll hurt mine. She must know that.” To himself, he added silently that Dawes must be desperate to make such a foolish attempt at blackmail.