“Ms. Crowley never laid a hand on you at any point during this interaction, correct?”
“Nah, but she’s a chick, so she probably thought about it.” He started snort laughing. Braden stared. He stopped snort laughing.
“She never said she would harm you in any way, right?”
“She said ‘I order you to leave.’ That sounds like an implied threat to me.”
“Your Honor …” Braden began.
“Answer the question he asked you,” Judge Epstein snapped and Ev gave her a wounded look.
“She never actually said she would harm me, no,” he answered petulantly.
“And you testified that you yourself were yelling, correct?”
“Yeah, but she yelled first.”
“Other than the garlic and the salt, she didn’t drop anything else on the floor did she?”
“No, but that was plenty. It smelled like a friggin’ pizzeria in there.”
“No further questions,” Braden returned to the defense table. Most of the women, and a few of the men, watching from the gallery, sighed collectively. Have I mentioned how sexy my husband is? A cry echoed from the back of the room, “The EMF reader is going off the scale! Folks, we have paranormal activity!” a guy in a black T-shirt shouted. Another guy, holding a stick that seemed to light up spontaneously, headed toward Ev.
“Objection Your Honor.” Mr. Brenner was on his feet.
“I’m being threatened again!” Ev whined.
“We’re the Spirit Hunter Team,” the guy with the stick explained. “Your Honor, the witness in this case seems to be surrounded by an electromagnetic field. That could be indicative of paranormal activity.”
“What?” Judge Epstein screeched incredulously.
“This man is possessed,” a second Spirit Hunter announced as he ran a little gadget up and down near Ev’s body.
“I told you!” Ms. Crowley called out and Braden warned her to be quiet.
“We should probably get a sample, Ernie,” said the guy with the stick.
“A sample of what?!” Ev broke in.
“We’re going to need a sample of a body fluid,” the guy with box answered. “What do think, Burt, mucus or spit?” Ev looked helplessly at Mr. Brenner, but he seemed to be momentarily stunned.
“Okay, enough!” Judge Epstein banged her gavel. “You can’t just interrupt a case like this. I know President Judge Feeney said you could shoot in here, but you cannot stand in the way of justice. And there will be no spitting either.” She looked purple and veins were sticking out all over the place. It was like a scene from that old horror movie Scanners.
“Oh, uh. Sorry, Your Honor,” Ernie apologized sheepishly.
“We can wait and get the sample later,” Burt added. “He’s probably going to want to find a good exorcist, though.”
“I’ve got a special going right now,” Ms. Crowley called out.
“How much?” Ev asked. Suddenly, he was a believer.
“Work this out later!” Judge Epstein screeched. “Is there any argument?”
“Well, Your Honor …” Mr. Brenner began.
“Case dismissed!” She slammed down her gavel. “Five minute recess.” With that she flew off the bench with her black robe billowing. She looked like a giant vampire bat. Ev went off to talk to his new friend Ms. Crowley, and I went over to talk to Braden.
“Have I told you lately how sexy you are?” I asked him quietly.
“So, you want to get sexy with me?”
“In five minutes?” I laughed.
“That’s long enough for me to cop a feel. It will build anticipation.”
“Where do you want to go?” I asked coquettishly. He contemplated for a moment, and then grabbed my hand and led me out of the courtroom. We headed down the hallway and around a corner into a cavernous room, lit only by the dim glow of vending machines. “What, are you in the mood for a three year-old Milky Way?” I joked.
“There’s a dark corner behind the machine with dubious looking sandwiches, and the pickles shot full of chemical waste. Nobody will ever venture over there.” He had a point.
I felt naughty as we snuck over into the corner, stepping over cables and wires along the way. He backed me against a wall and put his hands on my bottom, pulling my hips against him and then he leaned down and kissed me hungrily. I sighed and slid my tongue against his. Kissing Braden would never get old. His mouth was so warm, wet and wonderfully minty, and his tongue was alternately teasing and demanding. I could happily make out with him all night.
One hand slid from my bottom up over my hip, tracing my curves until he arrived at the swell of my breast beneath my blouse. Braden was a boob man, and luckily for us both, I had a pretty nice rack. He cupped and lifted with his palm and brushed his thumb over the tip, sending shivers down my spine. His mouth moved to kiss my neck and whisper in my ear.
“Wait until I get you home tonight. I’m going to do bad things to you that will make you feel so good.” His tongue traced the edge of my ear and I moaned quietly and ground my hips against him. I could feel a bulge pressing against my abdomen that was filled with decadent promise.
“Uh oh, you’re indisposed. What are you going to do about that?” I ran my hands up his back, thoroughly enjoying the way his hard muscles tensed under my fingertips. I began gently biting his neck.
“For now I’ll walk it off and think about baseball,” he mumbled against my throat, pinning me against the wall with his hips and making me tingle from head to toe. “Later tonight I’ll give it to you.”
“Oh, baby.” I giggled and writhed against him. I was starting to get lightheaded. A moment later, though, I heard Mr. Brenner calling my name from somewhere down the hall. Great. Braden sighed, collected himself, and stepped back, strategically buttoning his suit jacket in front.
“I think you’re needed back in court.” His voice was a little husky.
“Yeah, I guess so. Well, here we go.” I steeled my nerves, straightened my shoulders and prepared to return to the trenches.
“Round two.” He smiled.
Chapter Two
When we returned to the courtroom the Spirit Hunters gang seemed to be conferring about something exciting. Maybe they had found intelligent life here. Nah.
“Uh oh, I don’t see Mr. Marley anywhere. I had better go hunt him down,” Braden said, heading off in the other direction to do some spirit hunting himself. I saw Mr. Brenner head my way with a determined look on his face and a file in his hand. Great.
“Hey, Mrs. Pierce,” he said. “What’s going on with Norman Bates?”
“That’s Nathan Bates,” I corrected him.
“Right, sorry, Nathan Bates, the body snatcher.” He smiled.
“You have an offer for me?” I asked hopefully. He grimaced and shifted his weight from foot to foot. That didn’t look like a good sign.
“Mr. Peterman’s family is very upset about what he went through.”
“What he went through? You’re kidding me right? Mr. Brenner, Mr. Peterman is dead. It’s not like he cared about his little trip around the block.”
“Your client was absconding with their dead relative, to go do, God knows what. I kinda get where they’re coming from. Don’t you?”
“What are you trying to tell me here, Mr. Brenner, that you’re going to make me try this stupid case? Oh come on. Just tell the family about how the system works, how we rely on plea bargains to keep things moving along, so that live people can have their day in court.”
“I’m not going to make you try it. Your client can always just plead to the charges as filed and let the judge craft an appropriate sentence.”
“Are you serious? Let delicate Debra up there have at him? She’ll sentence him to be racked and boiled in oil. And then she’ll make him do community service and pay a fine too.”
“Now, Mrs. Pierce, you’re not implying that Judge Epstein would be unnecessarily harsh with Igor over there are you?” He was trying hard not to laugh.