Out came his knife hands. “That’s where we need to step up our game. This isn’t like Afghanistan or Iraq. We will not have a year in between deployments to break in green troops and perfect unit cohesion. This is a mother fucking crash course. Questions?”
Staff Sergeant Danielle Walker, the only female platoon sergeant in the entire infantry battalion, spoke up first. “Does that mean the small arms ranges will be open longer, Sergeant Major? What about getting enough training ammo?”
“Ha! Sergeant, this means that you and your troops will be living at the range! Wait a second… you’ve had problems getting ammo or range time?” The towering Brown grew even taller. He leapt forward and prepared to gut the supply company’s first sergeant with an unsheathed knife hand. Training resources were his responsibility. The pudgy man, only a few months short of retirement, was taken off guard.
“Sergeant Major! It wasn’t my call; it’s all those damn civilians. Don’t you remember the budget deal a few years back? Civilian contractors run almost all of the base’s support activities nowadays. When they say they don’t have the time or money, well, what can I do? They don’t work for me.”
The old man’s whiny excuse didn’t save him from an ass chewing. Only the presence of his subordinates in the room kept him unharmed. Brown grunted. “We’ll talk about this later. Stay after the meeting, First Sergeant.”
Brown clapped both hands behind his back and took a deep breath. For those that knew him, such calmness was scandalous. “Okay. Sergeant Walker, you’re coming with me and we’re heading down to the range control office. I’m going to sort them out and we’ll get your ammo.” He stopped and grinned. “Bring your medic too, in case one of those civilians wants to give me any lip.”
Sergeant Walker laughed. “Oh, my platoon is all set, Sergeant Major. I, ah, ‘acquired’ all the ammo we need and worked out an arrangement for two hours of range time, twice a week. I meant for the rest of the unit.”
Brown was impressed, which was a rare emotion for him. Not knowing how to act, he tried to test her further. “Now how did you do that, darling? How’d you do what the big boys weren’t able to?”
Walker couldn’t stop her left eye from twitching. Giving any hint that he pissed her off annoyed her. The sexist routine didn’t seem like the sergeant major’s game, but everyone shows their true colors eventually. A couple of the guys snickered behind her. High school all over again.
Even after years of official integration, females were woefully underrepresented in the combat arms branches of the military. Not because of any media-hyped “armored glass ceiling,” but simply because they were smarter. Without rivers of testosterone messing with the brains and some weird “code of manhood” to live up to, her female compatriots were quite happy sticking to a non-combat support specialty. Learning a job skill that might actually be useful in the real world. Smart, but those jobs were so boring to Walker.
She mumbled “fuck it” under her breath. As one of the first women to join this ancient, male-dominated infantry institution, she’d probably already climbed as far in the ranks as she could. Why not speak her mind?
“I took care of the issue myself. I didn’t let my soldiers run the risks, if that’s what you’re asking. I don’t think you would care to know the details, Sergeant Major. I also think you better not call me ‘darling’ again.” She stood at parade rest. Her tone and posture held the upmost respect, but her quiet voice challenged her boss as much as a cocked pistol to the head.
“And I’m not talking about filing a fucking complaint with the equal opportunity office. Just because I have one doesn’t make me a pussy. I’d be happy to try some old-fashioned, wall-to-wall counseling. That’s if you’re man enough, Sergeant Major.”
About half the battalion’s male leaders shook their heads. What a shame to lose a good NCO at this point. The other half couldn’t believe their luck. They’d been trying for a while to get this gal out of their manly world. Finally, this smart-ass bitch did herself in.
Brown’s ever-widening smile made her see red, but she just barely restrained herself from stabbing his neck. Respect the rank, even if not the wearer, she kept reciting over and over in her mind.
After a good ten seconds of condescendingly beaming at her, Brown gave up trying to provoke an altercation. Now he was truly impressed.
“At ease, Sergeant. Savor the flavor, because you will never hear this again. I apologize. I was out of line.” You could almost hear jaws dropping around the room. None of the other men could fathom this surreal turn of events. The tall brute took a step forward and playfully punched Walker’s shoulder.
“With a can-do attitude like that, why the hell aren’t you a sergeant first class yet?”
Walker heard that this “hero of Florida” had a sick sense of humor, but what the hell? She decided to play along. “What can I say, Sergeant Major? You know how it is. I’ve been on the promotable list for over a year now, but never received my orders.” She made a big show of glancing down at her small breasts.
Brown nodded. “Ah, that old bullshit, huh? I’ll talk to the colonel. I’m sure your first sergeant can squeeze in a promotion ceremony next week.”
That same supply first sergeant looked aghast. He tried to help Walker out with the promotion paperwork several times, but she always refused his dinner invitations. Once even threatened to make him a eunuch if he didn’t shut up. If she wasn’t going to be a team player, why should he prioritize her promotion packet? This new sergeant major just didn’t get how things worked around here. He raised his hand.
“Ah, Sergeant Major, that might be a problem. You see—”
Brown was really trying to grow up and tone down his infamous rage. God knows it had caused enough problems already, but he had to say something. His lethally deadpan delivery left the other NCO speechless. “That’s two strikes, First Sergeant. Do you want to see what happens at three?”
Brown dropped his gun-shaped hand aimed at the first sergeant’s head. “Let me make everything clear right now. I don’t have any time for this ridiculous ‘women-in-combat’ insecurity. We’ve been integrated for years now- deal with it! I don’t care if you’re butt hurt over the changing world. Suck it up and drive on. We’re not on a college campus debating social issues over a frapa’fuckin’chino. This is a damn military unit about to go to war! If you got a problem with a soldier because she pisses sitting down, or an issue with anyone for anything except their performance as a soldier… then keep it to yourself and do your damn job.”
Brown took a deep breath. “All right. Enough screwing around. Let’s get back to work. I want to see new training and maintenance plans, revised for 60-hour workweeks, by the end of the day. No hype. If anyone uses Power Point, I’ll beat you to death with your own damn computer!”
“Welcome back to the latest edition of ‘Only in America,’ with Huw Gosling.” The host’s independent news slant, neither liberal nor conservative, found few sympathizers in America. However, that smug British accent was universally provocative. Which played no small part in his show’s rising popularity. Gosling’s talent for drama, honed by twenty years in the tabloid trenches of English news, gave him a further edge over his loud-mouthed US competition.