Around 3 p.m. Sam was standing inside an enclosed area on the edge of the park holding a trash bag and the grabbing stick, staring into the distance, when he saw Travis, a manager at the organic vegan restaurant where he now worked, looking at him.
“I didn’t know you volunteered,” said Travis.
“I have two days’ community service,” said Sam.
“Oh, I had this once,” said Travis grinning.
Sam moved the grabbing stick around in the air. He had been moving slowly to prevent himself from sweating. It was early October and a little warm.
At work Sam put two scoops of brown rice into a “small Chinese container.” He walked past Julia and opened a small metal door. He scooped steamed vegetables into the container. Julia carried a tray of potatoes out of the kitchen. Ben looked at Sam and said something.
“What,” said Sam.
Ben repeated what he had said.
“What,” said Sam.
“Did you tell Julia we need more beans?” said Ben.
Sam thought about saying “what” many more times
“Oh,” he said in voice louder than normal. “No.”
Ben walked past Sam to Julia.
“Julia, we really need beans,” said Ben.
“Okay,” said Julia. “Beans.”
Julia walked to the beans and moved the ladle around. She stared at the dining room for a few seconds. She walked to the back of the kitchen, leaned against a counter, and looked at Sam with a neutral facial expression. Sam felt that his face displayed no reaction. He walked to a central area of the kitchen and stood with unfocused eyes. Ben was thirty-nine, Sam knew from Facebook. Sam had a poem in the “drafts” section of his Gmail account called “ben is funny at work.” Sam felt himself grinning. He stopped grinning and stared at different things while people around him worked. “I feel tired of life,” he said out loud. “I don’t feel like working anymore.”
“What was that?” said Ben.
“What,” said Sam.
“What did you say, you’re tired?” said Ben.
“I’m tired of life. I don’t want to do any more work. But I still want to be paid.”
Ben laughed with a serious facial expression. “Just don’t slit your wrists on the cutting board,” he said. “It’ll stain the wood.”
“I would go downstairs to commit suicide,” said Sam. “I’ll hang myself in the bathroom. José-Manuel will find me.”
“Good,” said Ben. “Maybe he’ll finally learn to knock.”
“Really?” said Sam. “He doesn’’t knock?”
“No, he does,” said Ben. “I’m joking.”
“Oh,” said Sam.
“Do you mind if I go downstairs for a bit,” said Ben later. “I’m going to use the bathroom.”
“No,” said Sam. “Go ahead.”
A few minutes later Julia came upstairs with two trays of tempeh. “Ben was standing there,” she said. “I asked him what he was doing. He said he was waiting for you to do some tickets.” Julia grinned and stared at Sam like she was about to make her eyebrows go up and down.
“That’s funny,” said Sam. “Ben is passive-aggressive.”
“I know you usually do the most work,” said Julia.
“I’m not even ‘phone person’ tonight,” said Sam. “Ben is confused.”
On Christmas Eve Sam woke around 7 p.m. in his brother’s studio apartment in Manhattan. Sam had moved in November into a four-person apartment in Brooklyn but was staying at his brother’s studio apartment while his brother was on vacation with his girlfriend. Sam put on music very loud and showered in the dark with the bathroom door open. He put in earphones and walked ten blocks to an organic raw vegan restaurant. He ate a seaweed salad. He drank a smoothie. He walked back to the apartment. He drank an energy drink. He worked on writing for two and a half hours. He lay on his brother’s queen-size bed listening to music. He read most of the newest Stephen Dixon novel and fell asleep around 3 a.m.
On New Year’s Eve Sam lay on his mattress in Brooklyn reading short stories. He heard fireworks outside. He stood on his mattress and stared out his window at a deli.
Around 11:30 p.m. he got a text message from Kaitlyn: “2008 drunk by 8.”
After midnight he got a text message from Mallory: “2008 feels insane.”
Sam grinned and text messaged: “It does. Feels like 2040 or something.” He showered and dried himself. He lay on his mattress and thought about writing a novel about working hard and becoming rich and living alone in a giant house in Florida. Loneliness and depression would be defeated with a king-size bed, an expensive stereo system, a drum set, a bike, an unlimited supply of organic produce and coconuts, and maybe calmly playing an online role-playing game. Each day the person in the novel would lay in sunlight on the living room carpet listening to music in “surround-sound” while drinking iced coffee. At night the person would ride a bike around the neighborhood or drink smoothies while taking very long baths.
A few days later Sam met Kaitlyn in Williamsburg to go to the annual work party for the organic vegan restaurant where he worked. Kaitlyn had a “Synergy” brand kombucha in her jacket pocket. She said she dropped it earlier and it made a very loud noise and people looked at her. “Drop it now,” said Sam. “No,” said Kaitlyn. Sam tried to take the kombucha and it went further into Kaitlyn’s jacket pocket. “I can’t get it, why is it sliding away,” said Sam. “Stop trying to grab my kombucha,” said Kaitlyn laughing. A few minutes later Sam gained control of Kaitlyn’s kombucha and dropped it and it made a very loud noise.
The work party was at a taco restaurant with a bar. Keith looked at Sam and Kaitlyn and gave Sam four drink tickets. Sam and Kaitlyn put food on plates and sat at the bar and ordered mojitos. Kaitlyn drank hers quickly. Sam drank his slowly.
There was a Magic 8-Ball on the bar.
“Is Kaitlyn going to get drunk tonight?” said Sam.
The 8-Ball said “doubtful.”
“Is Sam going to get drunk tonight?” said Kaitlyn.
The 8-Ball said “doubtful.”
“Is the owner going to get drunk?” said Sam.
The 8-Ball said “chances are good” the owner of the organic vegan restaurant Sam worked at would get drunk. The owner was in her fifties. Sam said the owner wasn’t a vegan because her doctor had told her to eat meat. Sam saw the owner walking alone about thirty feet away, taller than everyone else. “I got really drunk last week when I was home in Michigan,” said Kaitlyn. “I went into a park to go to sleep but then I got up and walked ten blocks to a hospital.”
“What,” said Sam quietly while grinning.
“Is corn in the same food group as grains?” he said.
“Probably,” said Kaitlyn.
“Tell the DJ to play rap,” said Sam.
Kaitlyn went and told the DJ to play Lil Wayne.
“He said ‘no,’ ” said Kaitlyn grinning at Sam.
They left the bar and sat on a sofa facing the bar. “Do you think those two girls standing by that guy are going to make out?” said Kaitlyn.
“That’s a man,” said Sam.
Kaitlyn took out stationery she bought earlier that day. Sam waved at Paula who was talking to Matt. “Do you want stationery?” said Kaitlyn a few minutes later to Paula. “I want stationery,” said Sam. Briana walked by and knocked over Sam’s mojito which was on the floor. Briana walked away. “Did people get really drunk last year?” said Sam.