The car door opened and Joel rose out of the vehicle all cool, calm, and casual, as if he had every right to be in this neighborhood, on this street, in front of my neighbor’s home. I slammed on my brakes, practically giving myself whiplash in the process. Joel closed the door and stood next to the car, watching me. I didn’t know whether to roll down the window, get out of my car, or simply continue staring at the man who looked as stunning at 8 a.m. as he did at 11 p.m. He was simply beautiful. Beneath a beige blazer, he wore a light green collared shirt that made his eyes somehow lighter. Or maybe that was the way they always looked because I’d never seen this beautiful man out in daylight before. His jeans and loafers made him appear more casual, but they didn’t take away from his overall polished appearance.
Joel was striking. Drop dead gorgeous. A kind of take-your-breath-away stunning I’d never witnessed before in a man, possibly ever.
For those few minutes as we both stared at each other—with me hiding behind the safety of my vehicle—I forgot all of the reasons why he couldn’t be at my house and why I couldn’t be seen talking with him. As far as I was concerned, Joel was the enemy and we were in the middle of a war. There were no time-outs, no cease-fires, no talks of peace. To be seen speaking with him was damn near treasonous.
But when I looked at him, I didn’t see an enemy of war.
I saw Joel. My Joel. Or as much of him that could be considered mine after only spending a week together.
My hands felt shaky—an effect of my lack of coffee, I told myself with my mind racing, pulse hammering, and heart beating frantically. I was a mess of nerves. I got out of my car, barely shutting the door before walking down the driveway to meet him at the edge of my yard. As if just remembering what I looked like, I started straightening my skirt and patting my hair to make sure that I looked like a woman in control of herself, despite every synapse of my brain protesting the thought.
“Don’t you clean up nice?”
“What are you doing here, Joel?”
“What? I came to see you off to work.”
He moved in closer. So close, I could feel the heat of his breath break across my face like tides crashing against a rocky shore. The heat was strong enough to knock me flat on my back, a surge of feelings that rushed up pulling me under that looming gaze of his. That was what Joel did. That was what he was good at. Making women feel weak and off-kilter. I felt like my thoughts weren’t my own. Actually, I knew my thoughts weren’t my own because when he leaned in—our bodies so close our shadows were already merged there on the sidewalk—I leaned in, too. I closed my eyes and let him wrap those large arms around me, my body becoming sludge in his firm hold, while his mouth descended over mine. His lips felt sun-warmed and soft, capturing my bottom lip between his. He sucked and licked, awakening my whole body with the way his tongue enveloped mine. It was instinctual, my tongue reached out to touch his—to feel, to taste, to remember.
I forgot all about being late, and not talking to Joel, and everything else outside of our lips merging. His face was freshly shaved, and I rubbed my palms there beneath the curve of his cheeks. Fingers wound in his hair, relishing the softness. Joel was soft everywhere. Soft lips, soft skin, soft hair. I opened my eyes and watched those long, brown eyelashes sweep against the dip above his full cheekbones. He looked sweet from this angle. Every bit of the playboy I’d seen that night and discovered over a week ago was gone. Before me stood a boy that kissed like it was his first time. When kissing still felt like the gateway to another’s soul and all you had to do was reach for it.
His eyebrows quivered and the few groans that escaped his mouth were swallowed by my lips, but we continued kissing as if it were the last thing our lips would touch. We kissed like we were searching for answers. I didn’t know if I had the answer for Joel, but I liked to think that if I did, he found it in that kiss.
Joel’s hands trailed down my back until his hands found my waist. He wrapped them around me, holding me in place as his lips finally broke away from mine. His forehead rested against mine as we both came down from the high we were just on. I stared into his eyes as if looking at them for the first time. He didn’t move, didn’t blink. He simply stared back, holding me there in my driveway. The whole world could have passed down my street in those few minutes and I wouldn’t have noticed. More importantly, I wouldn’t have cared.
His hands fell from my waist and whatever spell his touch had tied me up in was broken. I took a step back and continued putting distance between us, each step marking the return of my sanity.
“What are you doing here, Joel? And don’t say it was to send me off to work. I get to work just fine. In fact, I’d be there already if it weren’t for you.”
“Blaire. Don’t be this way. I want to see you. Will you just meet for lunch? Please?”
“I can’t. And you shouldn’t be here. Please leave, Joel.”
“You don’t want that,” he said taking a step closer. I threw my hands up, forbidding him to come closer. “That’s not what that kiss said, Blaire. Do you know what I heard? Lick me, taste me, fuck me. Does that sound familiar? It should. It was the same thing you said the first night.”
“I don’t remember. Please, Joel.”
“You said that a lot, too,” he laughed. His smile was bright and his eyes sparkled, and I knew he was working his charm on me. Oh, how I wanted to remember the things that he could recall so easily. I wished I could remember those things so I’d have more memories to recycle. The ones I had were becoming too predictable.
“I have to go, Joel. Please don’t come here again.”
“Blaire. Blaire, please,” he pleaded, reaching for me.
I didn’t turn my back on him as I returned to my car, and he didn’t chase after me. We watched each other as the distance between us grew. We watched each other until my car turned right and escaped his view.
Chapter Five
The week flew by, and I let Kerri convince me to make Saturday a girl’s day out with her and Piper. The three of us went and had pedicures done before getting down to our swimsuits for some tanning and swim time over at the Cosmopolitan. The temperatures had just reached the hundreds—the first of the year—and everyone was sprawled out on lounge chairs to officially welcome summer.
“Ohh, my godddd. I love summer,” Kerri said ripping her sarong off and throwing out her arms as if offering herself up to the hot rays and cloudless sky.
“You always say that,” Piper giggled next to me.
Compared to what everyone else was wearing poolside, I felt a bit frigid in my carefully placed sarong that bared very little, but compared to me, Piper looked like a Buddhist Monk—nearly covered from head to toe in a muumuu that was a bit too thick to technically be considered a swimsuit cover-up. Kerri didn’t respond, simply sighed as if she were truly content with all life had to offer her. If only something as simple as tanning under a warm sun could take away all of the worries of the world, maybe then I wouldn’t be stressed about my predicament with Joel. In a perfect world.
Even with the loud bass of the music thumping overhead and the girlish squeals and masculine yells, I was more relaxed than I’d been in days, weeks even. Pretty much ever since I woke up and found Joel still in my house.
“What do you think they do for a living?” Piper asked from the lounger next to me. I looked over to see her staring at a couple of buxom blondes in bathing suits that barely covered the important bits—which looked like they were going to be making an appearance soon if they didn’t stop bowling over in laughter.