They were walking toward a brightly lit store. Yellow and white incandescent bulbs strobed deliriously in its smudged and smeared show window, their light racing madly around its border. A neon sign blinked "ADULT BOOKS" in turquoise while another blared "PEEP SHOW" in red.
You're taking me there?
"Yes. Have you ever been in one?"
Never!
"Then this will be a new experience for you."
Inside the door was a square room, its walls lined floor to ceiling with porno magazines—men with women, women with women, men with men. To the rear was a curtained arch, keystoned with a sign that said, "PEEPS." A narrow platform ran across the front of the store, supporting a glass display case and a cash register. Behind the case stood a portly, short, balding, middle-aged man wearing a greasy Guns n'Roses T-shirt and a two-day stubble. There were two male customers in the store who quickly headed for the back when they saw her.
The man on the platform leaned over the display case and looked down at her.
"Can I help yiz, lady?" he said in a voice like a chain saw.
"I'm looking for a tool," Kara's voice said as she stared into the dusty display case.
Lined up on the shelves behind the glass were a good two dozen different models of vibrators and dildos.
You're not serious!
"Hush. I'm choosing."
"Why fool with a tool when you can have the real thing?" the counterman said, leering through his stubble.
"How about yours? Is your tool available?"
His smile broadened. "Anytime!"
"Interesting. However, I believe I'll take that one there."
Kara watched in horror as her finger pointed to a twelve inch pink vibrator formed in the shape of an erect penis. Gabor could only be buying it for one reason. It made her sick to think about it.
No!
The counterman took it out, wrapped it up after it was paid for, and handed her the package with a lascivious smile.
"Batteries not included."
"Quite all right. I have plenty at home."
"Okay. But if dis don't work, come back an' I'll show you da real ting."
"I just might take you up on that."
You wouldn't! Kara said as they exited the store.
"I might. Just to teach you a lesson if you prove bad company for me."
But he's dirty and ugly and probably crawling with diseases!
"Probably. But I can always replace you should you become debilitated by disease."
The sick helplessness of her position began to weigh more heavily than ever on Kara. But she refused to be cowed.
What kind of monster are you? she said as her body settled again in the back seat of the cab. And what kind of a man wants to be in a woman's body?
" 'Man?' What makes you think I'm a man? You saw my body. Genetically it may possess a 'Y' chromosome, but that's it. During my formative years my perceptions were drastically limited and I was never treated as a male—or a female, for that matter. I was treated as a sexless, mindless sibling. A doll. A pet. My own body had no experiences to influence my sexual orientation. But when I began getting out of my body and into others, I found the female sexual response more intense, more fulfilling. And speaking of sexual response…"
Kara watched her hands slip the vibrator from the brown paper bag. Her body leaned back in the seat and spread her legs. The hands slipped the vibrator under her coat.
Was this why he'd left her clothes at home? He wasn't—! Not here in the cab!
No. Don't!
"A shame we don't have any batteries."
God, please don't!
She felt the cold plastic begin to work its way inside her. Even without a voice, she managed to scream.
▼
6:05 A.M.
Kara watched her hand carve a thick slice off the loaf of seedless rye.
"You know the plan now? And when we get to your Aunt Ellen's you will coach me so I don't make any mistakes."
Kara still burned from the humiliation in the cab a few hours before. She refused to answer.
"Don't be rude, Kara. We are going to be living together in this body for quite some time to come. You have to accept that. We can be bickering enemies or civil companions. But I warn you, if you give me trouble, there will be more incidents like the one in the cab. And they will escalate until you behave like the good little girl I know you can be. The choice is yours."
I choose to be set free, damn you!
"That is not an option."
Kara fought the black depression thickening around her. She was utterly helpless, completely at Gabor's mercy—and he didn't have any.
Even without any mistakes, Ellen's going to think my moving in here is pretty strange.
"What she thinks doesn't matter. She merely has to hold the door as you and your daughter move out."
Mention of Jill drew her up from the depths.
Why Jill? You didn't say anything about her before!
"You can't very well abandon her. Not a devoted mother like you."
Were Kara's skin responsive to her emotions, it would have crawled at the thought of this thing in her body pretending to be Jill's mother.
No! Let her stay with Ellen!"
"Not a chance."
Kara's rage exploded. She wished she could take that knife and—
Suddenly her right hand pulled the knife from the bread and slashed toward her left. The blade never reached her flesh. But it came close, stopping within an inch or two of her arm.
"Well, well! Spirited, aren't we? You caught me by surprise there. But it won't happen again."
I hate you! I'd rather die than live like this!
"You think being a passenger in your own body or a little autoeroticism in the back of a cab is the worst that could happen to you? You're wrong, my dear. I've been kind to you. I've allowed you to keep in touch with the world through your senses. But I don't have to do that. I can cut them off."
Go ahead. I don't care.
"Really? We'll see. Say good-bye to smell and taste."
The odor of the bread was gone but other than that, Kara didn't notice much difference.
"Now… sound."
Silence such as Kara had never imagined possible— even the subliminal rush of blood through her arteries was gone. Only the voice remained.
"Now sight."
Darkness engulfed her. Darkness so profound its impact was almost a physical blow. More than an absence of light. A darkness that had never known light.
"Frightening, isn't it? But tolerable because you still have your senses of touch and proprioception. You can still feel the air against your skin, your feet on the floor; you still know up from down. But not for long."
I'm not afraid.
"You should be. You are about to experience true, complete sensory deprivation. I used it to punish Lazlo when he was naughty, and he dreaded it. I will use it to punish you, as well. And if you do not prove to be a pleasant companion, I shall leave you in the deprivation state permanently."
Huddled in the vast empty darkness, Kara was terrified but refused to let him know.
Do your worst.
"Very well. Your first punishment will be brief, but it will seem eternal. Good bye."
Suddenly the floor went out from under her. She was tumbling, racing into & silent black infinity. All points of references were gone. There was no up or down or near or far. She was exploding and contracting in cycles. If only she could stop this endless falling, but there was nothing to hold onto. Everything was gone.
She hadn't realized it would be like this. Never in her darkest imaginings had she encountered terror like this. There was nothing here! Nothing! He had to let her out, let her back into the world!
She screamed but there was no sound. Only the endless fall into the eternal silent darkness.