"In jail."
"For how long?"
"Probably just a few more hours, unless Mr. Ahasuerus decides not to bail him out."
"And if not?"
"Maybe a week."
"Is he well?"
"Nobody said otherwise," I replied.
It looked like he was going to say something else, but just then Big Alvin came over. "It's getting near show time, Tojo," he said uncomfortably.
"So what?" I said.
"I gotta get over to the girl show," he said. "Gloria'll be on in a few minutes."
"Thaddeus said to stay here," I said.
"If I'm not there, he'll make her work strong," said Big Alvin. "I know he will." He clenched his huge fists until the knuckles turned white. "If he makes her get down on the stage and lets those guys start messing with her . . ." His voice trailed off for a minute. "I've never hurt anyone before, Tojo, but if he makes her do that, I'll do something bad to him. So help me God, I will!"
"It's all right," I said. "Thaddeus is working this show."
"Then who's the talker for the meat show?"
"Swede," I said.
"Swede," repeated Big Alvin slowly. He thought about it for a moment. "Swede's okay. He won't make her do anything she doesn't want to do."
"I'm sure he won't," I told him gently. "Besides, I don't think we've had time to pay off the cops yet."
"All right," said Big Alvin. "I'll stay here. But if Thaddeus isn't barking for the freaks, I'm leaving."
"I wouldn't stop you if I could," I told him truthfully.
We spent a few more minutes just sitting around, and then Thaddeus, all done up in what he called his Elvis suit—gold lamé from his neck down to his shoes, twirling a gold cane—walked in.
"Okay, move 'em out," he said.
Big Alvin and Treetop escorted the freaks to the adjoining tent, where each was placed on a separate platform that had been set up. When they were all in place Thaddeus covered the front of each platform with a makeshift curtain made of colorful metallic cloth.
"You stick with the Blue Man," he told me. "If he tries anything funny, give a holler."
Then he shoved me onto the Blue Man's platform and pulled the curtain shut.
The crowd entered a few minutes later. I could hear the drone of Thaddeus' voice as he collected them all outside, taunting and teasing them, but it wasn't until he ushered them into the tent that I could make out the words.
"From far exotic Africa," he thundered, "from the forbidden port of Mozambique, from the pits of Hell itself, comes our first exhibit. Stand back a bit, ma'am. He killed the first two white hunters who tried to capture him, and he went after a customer only last week.
"Now you may be wondering why I let you all in free, why there was no cover charge. That's because Thaddeus Flint doesn't work that way. You, young lady, would you step up next to me, please? Right up here. That's right.
"Now ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to let this young lady right here have a free peek at the Human Lizard. She'll tell you what we've got, she'll tell you if we're trying to pull a fast one here. Then I'm going to ask each of you to hand me a crisp one-dollar bill, and if half of you are willing to pay everyone gets to see him. If not, then the show's over and we'll all go home and watch the late movie. Does that sound fair to you?"
I couldn't tell what he did next, but a moment later I heard a shrill shriek, and then there was a great bustling, as if everyone was pulling out money at once.
"And there he is, ladies and gentlemen," cried Thaddeus. "Half man, half lizard, and all mean. What are you hanging back for, Mac—afraid of snakes? Better not let Blondie know it, or she's going to think you're afraid of lot of things."
On and on he droned for the better part of five minutes. Then he went through the whole thing again with the Cyclops, this time teasing one man into putting up twenty dollars for the whole crowd. He had a different financial pitch for each exhibit, and it sounded like he'd pocketed about six hundred dollars by the time he'd worked his way through the first nine.
The Man of Many Colors was tenth. I couldn't see him, but I could tell that he wasn't changing colors, because Thaddeus started taunting and insulting him, and finally told the crowd that he was going to refund their money for that particular exhibit, because obviously the man was a shirker with no sense of moral responsibility, and that even though a pale blue man was pretty odd, it wasn't what they had paid to see.
The Blue Man made a funny noise deep within his throat and I looked up at him just in time to see a small tear trickle down his cheek.
"Now this next exhibit I'm gonna let you see for free," continued Thaddeus, as still another mass exclamation arose from the crowd. "But that's for one night only. Starting tomorrow this lovely little lady's going to be working next door in our adult entertainment show. She's gonna shake and spin like you've never seen anyone shake and spin, because she's got more to shake and spin than anyone you ever saw. Now even though this delicious accident of Nature is going to make her act fifty percent longer than usual, we're not going to charge you fifty percent more money, no sir . . . You looked shocked, madam . . . no? Then envious . . . certainly not broadminded. Oh, you are? Then I expect to see you and that grinning baldheaded ghoul next to you in the front row of the strip show tomorrow night. Is that a promise?"
"My fault," whispered the Blue Man to himself. "My fault."
Thaddeus went on for a few more minutes about all the natural wonders that were on display at the strip show, put in a plug for Monk and Dancer, told a couple of stories that looked like they were going to be off-color until he got to the punch lines and made everyone laugh more out of relief than humor, and then ushered them out.
The Blue Man and I waited on the platform, wondering why he had been neglected but not willing to risk Thaddeus' wrath by leaving it. Thaddeus brought seven more groups of people in before the evening was over, though he gave up displaying the Man of Many Colors after two more attempts, and never did he pull the curtain back to reveal the Blue Man.
Then he told Treetop and Big Alvin to take the freaks back and start closing up the place, but to leave a certain platform alone. I assumed that he was pointing to us when he said it. Sure enough, we remained where we were for the better part of twenty minutes, until the place was empty and only one light remained on. Then Thaddeus walked over and pulled the curtain away.
There was a huge grin on his face.
"I can be pretty dense sometimes," he said, standing in front of us with his hands on his hips and a cigarette dangling from his mouth. "It took me until this evening to figure out what was going on." He brought his gaze up to meet the Blue Man's. "Mr. Ahasuerus, I presume?"
The Blue Man stared at him, unmoving and expressionless.
"You're crazy!" I said. "This is the Blue Man. He's one of the freaks."
"This is Mr. Ahasuerus, and I don't think he's a freak at all," said Thaddeus, still grinning from ear to ear.
"What are you talking about?" I demanded. "Just take a look at him!"
"You look at him, Tojo," said Thaddeus. "Look at all of them. I haven't got it all figured out yet, but I do know this: no human parents ever spawned any freaks like this bunch. Still," he added, flashing an enormous wad of bills that he had obviously taken in during the evening, "I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. It's a pleasure having you aboard, Mr. Ahasuerus."