'Their calculation was that to ensure the safety of my other two children and in return for evidence of Tamsin's continued wellbeing, I would serve them unquestioningly. And so I did. Ironically, Miranda's death, which formed no part of their plan, rendered it even more effective. I only had Jeremy left then to fear for. And my fear was all the greater as a result.
'Carrying that secret dread around with me destroyed my marriage. But what could I do? Tamsin's life would have been forfeit – as well as Jeremy's – if I'd told anyone the truth. I had no choice but to do their bidding. Tamsin was lost to me. But she wasn't dead. She could lead a happy and fulfilled life under another name provided I never tried to find her and let the world believe what Jane believed: that both our daughters were dead.
'The flaw in any plan, of course, is the unpredictability of events. Griffin saw what happened and followed the van. He had to be disposed of. And he was. But then someone else had to be found to account for the car you saw driving past the pub. And Miranda's death raised the stakes. The planned abduction became a callous murder. Worse, it was an unsolved murder, which meant it didn't fade from the public mind. So then I was required to hire Wisby to give the impression I was doing everything in my power to crack the case. And eventually it was decided someone had to be found to admit he'd killed both girls. Step forward Brian Radd. As a sex offender, he needed the kind of protection in prison only someone like Smith could arrange for him. In return for that, he was willing to confess to anything. And he got his protection, didn't he? Until the day he died.
'Then there was Tamsin herself – Cherie, Chantelle – growing to rebellious adulthood. And Sally, driven by her certainty that Radd's confession was false, looking, always looking, for the girl she believed was still alive. And then finding her, by chance, in the pages of a magazine.
'So they killed Sally, dressing it up to look like suicide. The man you know as Walsh was good at that kind of thing. He wasn't so good at hide-and-seek, though. Cherie gave him the slip, became Chantelle and, eventually, last year, contacted Jeremy.
'Well, you know about that. So do I now. Flushing out Marilyn. Sending the letters. Stirring up all the secrets. And what you don't know you can guess. Someone must have tipped the consortium off about Sharp's intention to question Radd. Taking him out was an overdue precaution on their part. But they had to tread carefully. They probably considered killing you, Sharp and Wisby. But that would have risked splitting the official version of events wide open. So, they played it softly. Softly by their standards, anyway.
'It didn't work, did it? In the end, there were too many hatches to batten down. Jeremy's death has made them doubt my reliability. I just don't have enough to lose any more. But I'm untouchable. I've wrapped up their investments so tightly they know they can't unravel them without me. If I went without putting matters in order, most of their money would go with me. They had me where they wanted me. Now they're not so sure. I was a problem solved. Now I'm a problem all over again.
'I'm glad to be paying them back in some small measure for the hell they've forced me to live through these past twenty-three years. I didn't deserve to be treated as they've treated me. Recently, I've discovered that it was even worse than I thought. I never doubted Marilyn was a gold-digger. I was happy to overlook mat for the fun she brought back into my life. But now I realize she was one of them all along, steered into my path after Jane and I split up to give them early warning of any backsliding on my part.
'How can I be sure of that, Umber? Her possession of the Junius letters proves it. That's how. She was there when they grabbed Griffin. They'd have wanted a woman on hand to look after Tamsin. That must have been Marilyn's role. She took the books from Griffin's car and hid them. Why? As ammunition to use against the consortium if the need ever arose. That would be my guess. When Jeremy started pressurizing her, she panicked and tried to get rid of them. But she kept the fly-leaves. That was a big mistake. She should have destroyed them. She really should.
'I found them, you see. I don't think she realizes yet they're not where she hid them, but she soon will. I spoke to Tamsin on the telephone earlier today. Chantelle, I should say. But she'll always be Tamsin to me. She sounded desperate. Well, she must have been, mustn't she, to phone me of all people? We agreed to meet tomorrow morning. She told me the truth about the letters. And I agreed to tell her the truth about her life.
'I've had Sharp on to me as well. He hasn't worked everything out yet, but he's getting close. Enforced idleness in La Moye has given him time to think a lot through. He believes he might be in a position to squeeze the truth out of me, or at least some of it. He might be right. I fixed his release on bail, just to show Smith and his friends they couldn't always have things their own way. I didn't tell Sharp that, of course. Nor did I disabuse him of the notion he seems to have got into his head that you've been nobbled.
'I'm supposed to be meeting Sharp tomorrow as well as Tamsin. It promises to be a busy day. The burial of a son. The resurrection of a daughter. And then… the sky falls in.
'That's what it would mean, Umber. Be in no doubt. If Tamsin returns to life, twenty-three years' worth of lies collapses around her and the truth emerges. Then Smith would need a firebreak between the consortium and me. To create it, he'd have to kill me. And Tamsin too.
'Plus you, of course. I mention that in case you need an incentive to do what I'm going to ask you to do. It truly is a matter of life and death.
'I have the fly-leaves with me. Match them to the books Tamsin has and you've got evidence linking Marilyn with Griffin's murder. If anyone's been buried in this forest for twenty-three years, it's him. I want you to meet Tamsin tomorrow morning and tell her what's happened. I want you to persuade her to turn her back on all this. I want you to take her away. I have a letter for you to deliver to a man called Ives. He has an office in Zurich. Ives has access to funds held on my behalf and can arrange new identities for both of you. With his help, you can disappear. Go wherever you want, as long as it's far from here. It's an escape route I devised for my own use a long time ago. But now I realize escape is simply not possible for me. The consortium would come after me. They'd never stop looking, because they couldn't afford to. In the end, they'd hunt me down.
'Different considerations apply to you and Tamsin. They'll decide, however reluctantly, to let you go, because in the wake of all this they'll need to lie low. They'll have their money, after all. I've seen to that. Smith must already be worried that they've shown their hand once too often. Sharp's continued probing will force him to be careful. And the suspicion that I've passed the missing fly-leaves on to you will prompt Marilyn to urge caution. You'll be in the clear. My guess is that they'll arrange for the case against Sharp to be dropped. Maybe the case against Wisby as well, though that will be more difficult to pull off. They'll want everything dropped.
'This is the deal, Umber. Tamsin says she'll be at Pewsey railway station when the seven twenty-four for London leaves tomorrow morning. Does she mean she'll be on the train when it pulls in or waiting on the platform? I'm not sure. There'll be quite a few commuters at the station. Maybe she wants witnesses to our reunion. Maybe she doesn't trust me. I could hardly blame her if she didn't. I used to catch the first train up to London from Pewsey every weekday, you know. When we were one big happy uncomplicated family, in those halcyon days I can hardly remember now, before the twenty-seventh of July, 1981. She's hardly likely to know that, of course. But I think of it a lot.
'I've booked the pair of you on a noon flight from Heathrow to Zurich. Be sure you're on it. And be sure Tamsin understands why you have to be. If I met her tomorrow, I wouldn't have the strength of mind to go through with this. That's why I mustn't meet her. Because this is her only hope. And she's the only child I have left.