“I assume that was three point two beer. This being Oklahoma, after all.”
“Well …”
“You’d have to drink a hell of a lot of three point two to get so drunk you didn’t know what you were signing.”
“Oh, I did. Put down a whole six-pack and a half in about ten minutes. I was grieving, see. I had just found out the Sci-Fi Channel was removing Earth II from its lineup.”
“So you had about nine beers, then.”
“I did. Man, I was reeling. Could barely stand up straight.”
“Tell me this, then, Mr. Zyzak. After you finished those nine beers … what did you do with them?”
“What did I do with them? What do you mean? I didn’t do anything with them, "cept maybe when I went to the John.”
“The cans, Mr. Zyzak. What did you do with the beer cans?”
“Oh. Why didn’t you say so? I just threw them in the—”
All at once, Zyzak’s face froze.
Ben smiled. He held up a typed piece of paper. “I have here a signed and notarized affidavit listing the complete itemized contents of Mr. Zyzak’s trash, on August fifteenth, the next day, and the next two weeks. There were no beer cans, Mr. Zyzak. Not one, much less nine.”
“Oh.” Zyzak stared down at his hands for a long moment. Finally, he looked up. “Judge, is it too late for me to settle?”
Judge Lemke smiled beatifically. “I think that would be very wise.” He leaned forward a bit. “Tell me, son. Was there ever a Captain Marvel … uh … um …”
“Pez dispenser?”
“Yes. That.”
Zyzak nodded. “Oh, yeah. But it’ll cost you.”
Chapter 2
JONES PASSED THE FILES and documents and photographs back to the woman in the gray coat. “Look, I’m sympathetic. I know this must’ve been horrible for you. But we can’t help you.”
The woman didn’t budge. “Why not? What happened to us was wrong. Very wrong.”
“I don’t dispute that. But you have to understand—every wrong does not have a legal remedy. There’s only so much the courts can do.”
“What these people did was unconscionable. They should be made accountable.” She paused. “I’ve done a lot of reading about this. We could sue for wrongful death.”
“And you would lose. You’ve got a causation hole big enough to fly a 747 through.”
The woman did not relent. Obviously, this was important to her. “We could get some experts—”
“Do you have any idea how much it costs to hire an expert witness, ma’am? Because I do. As the office manager for this firm, I have to. They’re expensive. You Wouldn’t believe how expensive. And that would just be the tip of the iceberg. A case like this would cost thousands to try. Hundreds of thousands. Do you have that kind of money?”
For the first time, the woman hesitated. “No. But I thought perhaps some sort of contingency fee arrangement—”
“Meaning we would have to pay all the bills up front. Let me tell you something, ma’am, speaking as the man most intimately aware of this firm’s feeble financial status. We can’t afford your case. Perhaps some other firm.”
“I’ve tried other firms. They all say the same thing. They won’t take the case because they don’t think they can make any money off it. The reason I came here is that I heard Mr. Kincaid was a lawyer who actually cared about something other than the thickness of his wallet.”
“I’m sorry,” Jones said insistently. “It’s simply impossible.”
“How can you know that? At least let me talk to him.”
“Mr. Kincaid is very busy. As the office manager, it’s my job to screen potential clients.”
“All I need is ten minutes of his time.”
“I’m sorry, no.” Jones rose, obviously suggesting that she should do the same.
The woman in gray gathered her materials and grudgingly prepared to leave. “Could you at least explain why you’re hustling me out the door like this? Are you so certain Mr. Kincaid wouldn’t be interested?”
Jones shook his head. “I’m certain he would.”
Jones almost had the woman out of the office when Fate intervened to spoil his plan. Ben Kincaid walked through the front door.
Ben glanced at the woman he didn’t know, then over to Jones. “Well, we’re back.”
Christina came in a few steps behind him. “And back triumphant, I might add.”
Jones beamed. “You won? Excellent.”
“We were fortunate,” Ben said. “Had a good day. The client was very happy.”
“So happy he paid you on the spot?”
Ben tilted his head to one side. “Well … no. Actually, there’s a bit of a problem with that.”
Jones slapped his hand against his forehead. “Dear God,” he murmured, “don’t let this mean what I think it means.”
“Seems our friend Mr. Coe has had a turn of bad business luck.…”
Jones pinched the bridge of his nose. “I knew it. I just knew it.”
“His profits are way down,” Christina explained. “His store hasn’t recovered from the loss of those Pez dispensers.”
“Let me guess,” Jones said. “He can’t pay you.”
“Not in cash,” Ben said. “But he did give me a lovely near-mint-condition copy of Aquaman #18.”
“Why would we want that?”
“Are you kidding? That’s the one where Aquaman marries Mera the merwoman.”
Jones shook his head. “I can’t take it. I just can’t take it anymore.”
The woman in gray stepped forward. She had large doe eyes, vivid blue and unblinking. “Are you Ben Kincaid?”
Ben extended his hand. “Guilty as charged.”
“I’m Cecily Elkins. I’d like to talk to you about a possible lawsuit.”
“Would you be the plaintiff?”
“One of them. I believe it would be a class action suit.”
“Really?” Ben raised his eyebrows. “Cool. Did you talk to my office manager?”
A tiny frown spoiled her face. “Yes. He assured me you wouldn’t want to talk to me.”
“Nonsense. Of course I want to talk to you.”
Jones tried to step between them. “Boss—if I may—I think this is a mistake—”
“Don’t be such a wet blanket, Jones. We’re just going to chat. Why don’t you put on some coffee?”
Jones drew himself up indignantly. “I do not do coffee. I’m the office manager.”
“Fine. Then go manage something.” He pointed toward his private office at the end of the hallway. “Ms. Elkins, would you join me?”
Ben escorted the woman down the hall. Christina started after them, but Jones grabbed her arm. “I want it recorded for posterity that I tried to prevent her from talking to him. That I was against this from the get-go.”
Christina shrugged off his hand. “Jones, why are you getting so worked up? It’s just another case.”
“Yeah, just another case,” he echoed grimly. “But it could well be our last.”
Half an hour later, Ben had scanned all the papers the woman had brought with her, and worse, had seen all the photographs. He’d heard the woman’s story, at least in miniature. It had been one of the most emotionally wrenching half-hours of his life.
“I’m beginning to understand why my office manager didn’t want me to talk to you.”
“I understand the difficulties,” Cecily said. “But I think it’s important. We can’t let something like this happen.”
“I agree,” Ben said, “but you have to realize that the odds against us are staggering.”
“I’m not going to back off just because it won’t be easy.”
“There are other concerns as well. Important ones. I’ve spent most of my career working in the criminal courts. Sure, I’ve done some civil work along the way, but with a case of this magnitude … you might be better off with a different firm. A bigger firm.”