Annie’s studies had supplied her with a working knowledge of schizophrenia, but she realized knowing about it and experiencing it were two entirely different things. All the knowledge in the world couldn’t bring her to understand Adam’s pain.
But at the same time, he was a dangerous man. For the sake of everyone around him, he had to be contained, and ultimately, there was no scenario in which Adam Thorburn could come through this a winner.
She glanced toward the steps, wondering if she could make a dash for it before Adam could react and stop her. She decided against it. Even in his dejected state, he was still being cautious, and it wouldn’t end well for her.
He straightened up, drew back his shoulders, and watched her closely while he said, “I want to kill myself. Will you help me?”
Annie’s mouth widened and she shook her head adamantly. “Never.”
“I didn’t think you would. It was just a thought.” He sighed deeply and looked away. “I don’t have the strength to do it myself.”
“That’s not the answer, Adam.”
“I tried already. Twice. Once upstairs with the gun, and once in the swamp. I tried to drown myself and it almost worked, but something stopped me.”
“In the swamp?” Annie asked. “Is that where you’ve been for two days?”
“I like it there,” he said. “It brings me peace, but now that Jake has discovered it, I can’t go back.”
Annie’s breathing quickened. Jake was looking for her. Of course she had suspected as much, but he might be getting close.
“Where’s Jake?” she asked cautiously.
He shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. I hope he went away.”
Annie doubted that. Jake would still be in the area, and though she knew he was a little reckless sometimes, she prayed he would be careful if he ever met up with Adam. And she had to believe he would find her. It was all she had to cling to.
She tried a different tactic. “Adam, maybe Jake and I could help you get away from here. Somewhere far away. That’s what you said you wanted.”
He laughed. “That’s very kind of you, but I know you don’t mean that. You know how dangerous I am, and it would be rather irresponsible of you to help me.” He paused. “Nice try, though.”
Annie shrugged. “Okay, I’ll admit, it was a pathetic attempt, but there’s one thing I know for certain. I don’t wish you any harm and you don’t wish me any harm. All I want is what’s best for everyone.”
He nodded. “I do, too. That’s the problem with our situation. We don’t see eye to eye on what’s best for me.” He gave a short laugh, maybe from self-pity, or perhaps from the irony of the situation. “I know what’s right for everyone else. For me to go back to the swamp, jump in, and do it right this time.”
“Think about your mother, Adam. Think about what it would do to her.”
“I’m not so sure she cares. I’ve been a millstone around her neck ever since Dad died, and she might be just about fed up with taking care of me. Besides, she can’t afford it. My father left a little money in an account after he died, but that’s long gone.”
Annie had no answer to that. It seemed unlikely a mother would abandon her child, but in the real world, it happened sometimes.
“Whether or not she cares,” he continued. “It’s still better for her if I wasn’t around to cause her more headaches.”
His eyes grew damp and he turned and paced the floor, his head down. He stopped at the wall, drew back a fist, and pounded the concrete. He howled in pain, emotional and physical, and stared at his wounded knuckles. There was fire in his eyes when he turned back to face Annie, and she shrank back against the wall.
She watched in horror as he reached behind his back, withdrew the pistol, and held it up, glaring at it. He turned the barrel slowly until it pointed directly at her. His hand trembled, his finger shook on the trigger, and she saw his mind in turmoil. She held her breath, not daring to breathe.
He dropped his head back suddenly, his palms over his ears, and screamed, “Leave me alone. Leave me alone. I won’t do it.”
Then he turned abruptly, dropped his weapon hand, and raced up the stairs two at a time. The door slammed shut behind him, the lock slid closed, and Annie slumped against the wall, able to breathe again.
Chapter 43
Thursday, 2:18 p.m.
JAKE’S PATIENCE looked like it was about to pay off.
He watched from his hiding place in a thick hedge as Virginia Thorburn walked purposefully down the driveway to the sidewalk. She carried a grocery bag in one hand, a handbag in the other. He looked at his watch. It was much too early for her to be heading to work, and nobody takes a stuffed grocery bag out of the house except to deliver something. Jake was pretty sure he knew what the occasion was.
She was going to see Adam.
She cast a quick glance at the unmarked car across the street, waved a hand their way, then stepped onto the sidewalk. She strolled away, casually swinging the bag as if out for an afternoon stroll.
Jake waited until she was fifty feet away before crawling out of the hedge. He walked up the sidewalk keeping pace with her, careful to keep one of the many trees that lined the street between them whenever possible. If Virginia happened to get the slightest glimpse of him, he would be recognized immediately. For Annie’s sake, Jake couldn’t let that happen.
She reached the end of the block, turned around slowly, and gazed his way. He pulled his head back behind a massive tree trunk and waited, daring to peer out a few seconds later.
She had turned at the intersection and was heading up the short street that led from Mill Street to Steel Road. In a moment, she disappeared from sight. Jake stepped out, jogged to the corner, and frowned. She was gone.
Then through his peripheral vision, off to his right, he saw the screen door at the side of the corner house snap shut. He dropped down. That had to be where she’d gone; it was the only way she could’ve vanished so quickly.
Was Adam hiding out in there?
Was Annie in there?
He was going to find out.
He surveyed the house. It looked uninhabited. There were no curtains on the windows, the grass was overgrown, and no lights were visible inside. It was the perfect hiding place, and totally unexpected.
He had visited the house earlier and no one had answered the door, but it was only one of several where no one was home and he hadn’t given it a second thought.
Jake walked boldly to the porch, stepped up, and took a quick glimpse inside the small window in the door. He couldn’t see clearly through the screen, and he craned his neck in both directions. The entranceway appeared to be empty.
He stepped off the porch and circled around to the back of the house. A door exited onto a small deck, a sliding glass door, probably leading to the kitchen. He eased across the wall of the house and moved onto the deck, choosing his steps carefully. The boards were rotting in places, and a wrong step would send a loud warning to anyone in the house.
Jake clung to the wall, inched toward the door, and stopped. He held his breath and peered around carefully.
He pulled back abruptly and let his breath out. Virginia sat at the kitchen table, facing his way. She might have seen him had her view not been blocked by a man who sat at the near end of the table, his back toward the door.
He didn’t see the man’s face, but it had to be Adam. Who else would be hanging around a deserted dwelling? Virginia wouldn’t be making a friendly neighborhood visit to an empty house.
Now Jake had a choice to make. Should he go barging in, or wait for Virginia to leave? And what if one, or both of them, had a weapon? Normally he would dive right in, but he had to think of Annie. He wasn’t sure whether or not she was there, but if so, he couldn’t endanger her. One person, even a raging psychopath, would be easier to handle than two, especially if one of them was a mother who might do whatever it took to protect her son.