He hit it, but not hard- didn’t even dent his fender. I pulled over behind him. The tires spun for a while; then the engine went dead.
Before I had a chance to get out of the car, he was out of the truck, lurching, arms hanging gorillalike, a bottle in one hand. I locked the car. He was right next to me, kicking the Seville’s tires, pressing both hands on my door. The bottle was empty. Gatorade. He raised it as if to smash my window, lost his grip and let it spin out of his hand. He followed its descent, gave up, looked at me. His eyes were watery, swollen, rimmed scarlet.
“Gonna… kill your… ass, man.” Slurred speech. Theatrical grimaces.
“The fuck… following me?”
He closed his eyes, staggered, fell forward, knocked his forehead on the roof of the car.
The brain-damaged stance of a lifelong boozehound. But his life hadn’t been that long- what was he, twenty-two or -three?
He kicked the car, grabbed the door handle, missed, and stumbled. Little more than a kid. Baby bulldog face. Short- five four or five- but strong-looking, with sloping shoulders and thick, sunburned arms. Red hair, shoulder-length, coarse, uncombed. Wispy mustache and beard the color of lint. Pimples on his brow and cheeks. He wore a sweat-stained T-shirt, cutoff shorts, tennis shoes without socks.
“Fuck, man,” he said, and scratched an armpit. His hands were blunt-edged, scarred and scabbed, caked with grime.
He rocked on his heels, finally lost balance completely and landed on his rear.
He stayed that way for a while. I slid across the seat and exited the Seville on the passenger side. He watched me, not moving, let his eyes drop shut again, as if lacking the strength to keep them open.
I walked to his truck. Thirty-year-old Ford, poorly maintained. Wobbly white letters spelled out D.J. RASMUSSEN, CARPENTRY AND FRAMING on the door. Under that, a post office box in Newhall. In the truck bed were two ladders, a toolbox, a couple of blankets weighed down by metal parts.
The interior was littered with empty bottles- more Gatorade, Southern Comfort, several brands of wine cooler.
I pocketed the key, removed the distributor cap, and returned to where he still sat.
“You D.J.?”
Glazed look. Up close he smelled of ferment and vomit.
“What were you doing up there?”
No answer.
“Were you paying last respects? To Dr. Ransom?”
The glaze melted fast. Right track.
“Me too,” I said.
“Fu-uck you.” Followed by a putrid belch that made me step back. He mumbled, tried to move an arm, couldn’t. Closed his eyes, seemed in pain.
I said, “I was a friend of hers.”
Belch and a gurgle. He looked ready to throw up. I took another couple of steps back, waited.
An unproductive dry retch. His eyes opened, stared at nothing.
“I was her friend,” I repeated. “How about you?”
He moaned. Dry-retched.
“D.J.?”
“Oh, man… you’re…” He trailed off.
“What?”
“Fucking… with… my head.”
“I’m not trying to,” I said. “Just trying to understand why she’s dead.”
More moaning.
He ran his tongue over his lips, tried to spit and ended up drooling.
“If she was more than just a friend, it could be harder on you,” I said. “Losing a therapist can be like losing a parent.”
“Fuck you.”
“Was she your doctor, D.J.?”
“Fuck you!” After several efforts he managed to get to his feet, came at me, fell upon me.
Limp as a bundle of rags, his arms bulky but booze-dead, carrying no punch. I stopped him easily with a hand to the chest. Took hold of his arm and sat him back down.
I showed him the cap and the keys.
“Hey, man… what the…”
“You’re in no shape to drive. I’m holding on to these until you show me you’ve got it together.”
“Fuck you.” Less conviction.
“Talk to me, D.J. Then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“What… about?”
“About being Dr. Ransom’s patient?”
Exaggerated shake of head. “Uh-uh… not… crazy.”
“What’s your connection to her?”
“Bad back.”
“Lot of pain?”
“Hurt… fucking job.” Remembering, he bit his lip.
“Dr. Ransom was helping you with the pain?”
Nod. “And… after-” He made a feeble try for the keys. “Gimme my shit!”
“After what?”
“Gimme my shit, man!”
“After she helped you with the pain, then what?”
“Fuck you!” he screamed. The cords on his neck swelled; he punched out wildly, missed, tried to get up, couldn’t lift his butt from the ground.
I’d pushed a button. It set me thinking.
“Fuck nothing after! Fuck nothing!” He flapped his arms, swore, tried to get up and buckled.
“Who referred you to Dr. Ransom, D.J.?”
Silence.
I repeated the question.
“Fu-uck you-u.”
“There may be other patients who are feeling as bad as you do, D.J.”
He gave a sick smile, then a feeble head shake. “Uh-uh.”
“If we can find out who referred them, we can track them down. Help them.”
“No… fuck… ingway.”
“Someone should get in touch with them, D.J.”
“I’m… You’re some… fucking Robin Hood?”
“A friend,” I said. “A psychologist, like her.”
He looked around, seemed to be noticing his surroundings for the first time. “Where am I?”
“Side of the road. Just down from Dr. Ransom’s house.”
“Who’re you, some fucking… Robin Hood?”
“A friend. Who referred you to her, D.J.?”
“Doctor.”
“Which doctor?”
“Carmen.”
“Dr. Carmen?”
He giggled. “Carmen… doctor.”
“Carmen’s doctor?”
Nod.
“Who’s Carmen?”
“Fuck you.”
“What’s the name of Carmen’s doctor?”
A few more go-rounds before he said, “Bev… Hills Jew… Wein…”
I wasn’t sure if he was giving me a name or asking for a drink. “Wine?”
“Dr. Weinfu-uck.”
“Wein something? Weinstein? Weinberg?”
“Garden, grow grow grow.”
“Weingarden? Dr. Weingarden?”
“Big… mouthed Jew.”
He slumped and fell over, lay on his side.
I nudged him. Dead to the world. After copying down the post-office box number on the truck door, I searched among the bottles in the cab, found one that was half full, and emptied it. Then I let the air out of two of the tires, removed one of the blankets from the truck bed, hid the keys under the remaining two, stashed the distributor cap in the bottom compartment of his tool box. Figuring if he could work all that out, he’d be sober enough to drive. Then I spread the blanket over him and left him to sleep it off.
I drove away telling myself I’d use the post office box to reach him in a few days. Encourage him to get a new therapist.
God knew he needed the help. Through the booze haze there’d been heavy potential for violence- one of those tightly wound, pressure-cooked young bulls who let things build to an excruciating level, then blow it off without warning with fists, brass knuckles, blades, chains, and guns.
Not exactly your typical private-practice patient. Where had Sharon gotten him? How many others like him had she treated? And how many fragile personalities were on the verge of shattering because she’d no longer be there to hold them together?
I recalled Rasmussen’s sudden rage when I asked what had happened after the pain treatment was over.
An ugly hunch that I couldn’t justify, but one that refused to fade away, was that his relationship with Sharon had gone beyond treatment. Something strong enough to draw him back to her house. Searching? For what?
Following in Trapp’s footsteps…
Could she have been sleeping with both of them? I realized I’d wondered the same thing about the old sheik at the party. About Kruse, years ago.
Maybe I was getting carried away- projecting. Assuming sexual links that didn’t exist, because my own entanglement with her had been carnal.