But no matter how wonderful, sex with John had been a mistake. She’d known it as she’d stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom and he’d kissed her good night. She’d felt it in the empty pull of her heart. John didn’t love her, and she was surprised by how much that hurt.
She’d known from the beginning that he didn’t love her. He’d never said it or intimated in any way that he felt anything for her except lust. She didn’t blame him. Her pain was her fault and something she’d have to deal with on her own.
Georgeanne filled the water reservoir on the coffeemaker and pushed the on button. She leaned one hip against the counter and folded her arms beneath her breasts. She’d thought she could love him with her body but not her heart. Now all her illusions were gone, burned away in the light of morning. She’d always loved John. She could admit it to herself, but she didn’t know what to do about it. How could she see him on a regular basis and pretend she felt nothing more than mild friendship? She didn’t know how. She just knew she had to do it.
The telephone rang, startling Georgeanne. The answering machine beeped twice and clicked on. “Yeah, John,” a male voice said from the machine, “this is Kirk Schwartz. Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I’ve been out of the state on vacation for the past two weeks. Anyway, as per your request, I’ve got a copy of your daughter’s birth certificate in front of me. Her mother has listed the father as unknown.”
Everything inside of Georgeanne froze. She cut her gaze to the audiotape and watched it slowly turn. “If the mother is still willing to cooperate, then it won’t take much to get that changed. As far as visitation and custody, we’ll talk about your legal rights when you get back into town. The last time we spoke, I believe we decided that the best course of action at the present time is to keep the mother happy until we determine what to do legally. Uhh… I think the fact that you didn’t know about your daughter until recently, and that you make a substantial income and want to provide for her, puts you in a very good position here. You’ll probably be awarded the same custody as if there had been a divorce between you and the mother. We’ll discuss it at length when you get back into town. Talk to you then. ‘Bye.” The tape shut off and Georgeanne blinked. She turned to Lexie and watched her suck a Froot Loop off the back of her spoon hand.
The trembling began in Georgeanne’s chest and work its way outward. She raised a shaky hand and pressed her fingers to her lips. John had hired a lawyer. He’d said that he wouldn’t, but he’d obviously lied to her. He wanted Lexie, and Georgeanne had blithely given him what he wanted. She’d tried to put aside her misgivings and had allowed John the freedom to spend time with his daughter. She’d tried to disregard her own fears because she’d wanted to do what was right for her child.
“Hurry up and finish your cereal,” she said as she turned from the kitchen. She had to get away, get away from his house and from him.
Within ten minutes Georgeanne had changed her clothes, brushed her teeth and hair, and had thrown everything into the suitcases. Keep the mother happy … Georgeanne felt sick when she thought about how happy he’d made her last night. Sleeping with her had gone above the call of duty.
After another five minutes she had the car loaded. “Come on, Lexie,” she called out as she walked back into the house. She wanted to be gone by the time John returned. She didn’t want a confrontation. She didn’t trust herself. She’d been nice. She’d tried to be fair, but no more. Her anger fueled her like a gas line to a blowtorch. She let it burn uncontrolled through her veins. It was better to feel the rage than the humiliation and soul-numbing hurt.
Lexie walked out of the kitchen, still wearing her purple pajamas. “Are we going somewhere?”
“Home.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s time to go.”
“Is John coming, too?”
“No.”
“I don’t want to go yet.”
Georgeanne opened the front door. “That’s too dang bad.”
Lexie frowned and stomped out of the house. “It’s not Saturday yet,” she pouted as they headed down the sidewalk. “You said we were staying till Saturday.”
“There’s been a change of plans. We’re going home early.” She belted her into the passenger seat, then laid a shirt, shorts, and hairbrush in her lap. “Once we’re on the highway, you can change your clothes,” she explained as she got behind the wheel. She stared the car and put it in reverse.
“I forgot my Skipper in the bathtub.”
Georgeanne stepped on the brakes and looked over at a sullen Lexie. She knew if she didn’t go back in and get the Skipper, Lexie would worry and fret and talk about it all the way back to Seattle. “Which one?”
“The one Mae gave me for my birthday.”
“Which bathtub?”
“The one by the kitchen.”
Georgeanne shoved the car back into park and got out. “The engine is on, so don’t touch anything.”
Lexie’s shrug was noncommittal.
For the first time since childhood, Georgeanne ran. She ran back into the house and into the bathroom. The Skipper doll sat in the soap dish stuck to the tiled wall, and she grabbed it by the legs. She turned around and almost collided with John. He stood in the doorway with his hands planted on the wooden frame.
“What’s going on, Georgeanne?”
Her heart twisted in her chest. She hated him. She hated herself. For the second time in her life, she’d let him use her. For the second time, he’d caused her such pain she could barely breathe. “Get out of my way, John.”
“Where’s Lexie?”
“In the car. We’re not staying.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“Because of you.” She placed her hands on his chest and shoved.
He moved, but she didn’t get very far before he grabbed her arm and stopped her from opening the front door. “Do you act this way with the other guys you sleep with, or did I just luck out?”
Georgeanne whirled around and lashed out at him with her only weapon. She whacked him on the shoulder with the wet Skipper doll. The doll’s head popped off and flew into the living room. Her rage boiled beneath the surface, and she felt as if her head were about to pop off just like poor Skipper.
John looked from the headless doll in her hand to her face. His brows were raised. “What’s your problem?”
Inbred southern grace, Miss Virdie’s charm lessons, and years of her grandmother’s polite and proper influence turned to ashes within the inferno of her anger. “Get your slimy hand off of me, you immoral son of a bitch!”
His grip tightened and his eyes bored into hers. “Last night you didn’t think I was slimy. I may be a son of a bitch, but not for what we did together. Last night you were hot, I was hard, and we took care of it. It may not have been the wisest choice either of us has ever made, but it happened. Now, deal with it like an adult, for Christ’s sake.”
Georgeanne yanked her arm from his grasp and stepped back. She wished she were big and strong and could hit him really hard. She wished she were quick with cutting words and could slice his heart. But she was neither physically strong or quick under pressure. “You made sure I was real happy last night, didn’t you?”
He blinked. “ ‘Happy’ is as good a word as any, I guess. Although I’d use ‘sated,’ but if you want to use ‘happy,’ that’s fine by me. You were happy. I was happy. We were both pretty goddamn happy.”
She pointed the headless Skipper at him. “You sneaky bastard. You used me.”