“We’ll be there in ten minutes,” Sweet Caroline says over the phone. “Mom’s getting her keys.”
“There’s a church on the corner. Meet me in front,” I say, and I hang up.
The plan.
I knew the guru would be careful after I walked in on him at the Center, and I was right. I followed him to this neighborhood yesterday.
He’s here again today.
I start to have second thoughts. But Mom and Sweet Caroline are already on their way. It’s too late for second thoughts.
I sit on a bench in front of the church and wait for them.
There’s a statue of a saint looking out over the garden.
God is everywhere. That’s what Rabbi Silberstein says.
Maybe it’s true, and maybe it’s the problem. God has so much territory to cover that he can’t focus on any particular thing.
I look to the saint in the garden for guidance, but he’s got nothing for me. He’s staring straight ahead, lost in thought. A bird lands on his head, flapping its wings twice before taking off again.
Mom’s Volvo pulls into the parking lot. I motion for her to pull into an empty space.
“What are we doing in a church?” Mom says when she gets out.
“We’re not going to church. We’re going to someone’s house down the street.”
“What are you up to, Sanskrit?”
“It’s a surprise,” I say.
“I told you, Mom,” Sweet Caroline says.
Sweet Caroline gets out of the wagon. She smiles, excited about it all.
“Down the street,” I say. “Follow me, everyone.”
Mom holds Sweet Caroline’s hand, then reaches over to take mine, but I pull it away. The new, happy Mom does crazy things like trying to hold her kids’ hands in public.
“It’s the little green house over here,” I say.
“Whose house is this?” Mom says.
“Mom, just let us surprise you,” Sweet Caroline says.
We walk down the driveway. I’m thinking we could ring the front door and see what happens, but I’ve already checked and I know the gate to the backyard is open.
“We have to go around to the patio,” I say.
“Does my hair look okay?” Mom says.
I give her a look. “Just in case,” she says.
I open the gate silently, make Mom walk in ahead of me. Then I step in front of Sweet Caroline.
“Let me go first,” I whisper.
“I want to see,” she says.
“Please,” I say. I’m trying to protect her, but she’s not making it easy.
She slumps her shoulders and lets me go in front of her.
I guide Mom up the three steps onto the back patio behind the house.
“It’s in there,” I say, pointing to the big picture window and the screen door leading into the house.
The sound of laughter spills out from inside the house.
Mom’s face goes pale.
I glance through the window.
The guru is in there. So is Sally. This is her house.
She’s sitting on his lap, kissing him.
Mom doesn’t move. She stares into the house, not saying a word.
She turns back to me.
“You did this,” she says.
“What happening?” Sweet Caroline says. She’s trying to come up on the patio, but I’m blocking the steps.
“You set me up,” Mom says.
“No,” I say. “I just wanted you to see the truth.”
“What’s going on, Mom?” Sweet Caroline says.
“Stay there!” Mom says, holding up a hand to stop Sweet Caroline from coming onto the porch. Mom’s face is bright red.
“What did you do?!” Sweet Caroline says to me. “You made things worse!”
Mom points her finger at me.
“You did this,” Mom says. “I don’t know why, but you did it and I’ll never forgive you.”
“I’m sorry!” I say.
But why am I apologizing? I’m not the one cheating on Mom.
Mom pauses for a moment, caught between opening the door to the house and something else. What else?
She jumps from the porch, grabs Sweet Caroline, and rushes away, pulling Sweet Caroline the whole way.
I stand on the patio not knowing what to do. I look inside again. The guru is kissing Sally. Suddenly, he turns and looks at me. He rubs his eyes for a moment like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.
“Sanskrit?” His lips form the words.
He shifts Sally off his lap. He gets up and walks towards me.
I take off.
I hear the door open behind me.
“Stop, Sanskrit!” the guru shouts after me.
But I don’t stop. I run.
“Mom is upside down, and it’s all your fault.”
Sweet Caroline confronts me on the front stoop to the house. She must have been watching through the front window, waiting for me to come home.
“Did you hear me? It’s your fault,” she says.
“Leave me alone,” I say.
After I saw the guru, I ran until I couldn’t breathe, until my sides were splitting, until I didn’t recognize the neighborhood anymore.
Then I drifted through Santa Monica for a few hours, thinking about things. I considered going to Dad’s, but how could he help?
“What was in that house?” Sweet Caroline says. “Mom wouldn’t tell me.”
“You’re too young,” I say.
“I’m not too young!”
“Fine,” I say. “It was the guru. With another woman.”
“Oh.”
That’s all she says.
“Now you know why Mom didn’t tell you.”
“Why would you bring Mom there?”
“I’m trying to save our family,” I say. “So you lied to me?”
“I didn’t lie. I told you we’d get Mom back.”
“We didn’t,” she says. “What do you mean?”
“You have to get dressed. We’re going to the Center.”
“I’m not going.”
“Yes, you are. It’s Mom’s good-bye party.”
“Why would I go? Why would she go after what she’s seen?”
“She’s going, Sanskrit. That’s all I know. She hasn’t said a word since we came home except that I should get ready to go. And if I’m going, you’re going.”
Sweet Caroline is right. How can I let her go there alone with Mom, not knowing what Mom is going to do?
I walk into the living room, and sure enough, Mom is upside down. She’s wearing her best skirt, a wide, loose, flowered fabric that is flopped down to cover her face and body while her bare legs stick up in the air. She looks like a wilted flower.
She doesn’t speak to me.
I go to my room and change into my best pants and a button-down. I only have two button-downs, so it’s not like there’s a lot to choose from.
A couple minutes later, Sweet Caroline knocks on my door, and I follow her down the hall. Neither of us says a word.
We go to the garage, and Mom is already in the car waiting.
I usually sit in the front, but I decide it’s better to sit in the back today. I open the door and slide in next to Sweet Caroline.
Mom starts the car.
The garage door isn’t open yet, and for a second, I think Mom might have gone crazy like she talked about the other day. She’s going to keep the car running in a closed garage until we all die from carbon monoxide poisoning. I wonder how the Jewish Journal will massage that headline.
Mom revs the engine, glances in the rearview, realizes her mistake, and clicks the garage door opener.
The door creaks and rises in short jerks, a few inches at a time.
I’m thinking that Mom hates me right now, but she’ll get over it. She’s not really angry at me. She’s angry at the guru. She’s angry at the truth. She needs some time and then she’ll understand.
It’s better to have her in Los Angeles hating me than gone forever with the guru.
That’s what I tell myself, anyway.