MacNeil/Lehrer all-purpose theme music was on; the program was over. The air in the apartment was warm and sticky, but the storm made tea seem appropriate. A cozy and proper beverage, tea. Veddy, veddy English.
"You didn't have to do this for me," Hedra said, accepting her cup.
"I know," Allie said, irritated by all this subservience. She'd just heated some water and dropped in a bag; she hadn't donated a kidney. "So maybe next time you make the tea." Hedra smiled. "I'd like that. Sort of earn my keep."
Hedra, Hedra, Hedra… Allie switched off the TV and settled back down on the sofa. "You're paying half the rent and utilities, remember?"
"Oh, sure. But I can't forget this was your place to begin with. I mean, I know how hard it is to get any apartment in this part of town. I appreciate your taking me on as a roommate." "So you've told me." "Yeah, I guess you get tired of me telling you."
God, she was even apologizing for that. "It's okay, Hedra. But be assured I believe you."
Hedra sipped her tea and said, "Just right." She set the cup on the upholstered arm of the chair, balancing it there with a light touch of her right hand. Allie felt guilty about losing her patience. Hedra was, in many ways, a more agreeable roommate than most. She was certainly preferable to a loudmouthed egotist who'd try to take over and run things. Or a lover who'd throw away your heart tike a used Kleenex.
Allie said, "It's nice having you around, Hedra. I mean that."
"I… well, thanks, Allie." She was actually pretty when she smiled, a kind of animated Mona Lisa. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, a guy was by here looking for you yesterday morning after you left. Said his name was Sam."
Allie almost spilled her tea, which was too close to the rim. She hadn't drunk any, waiting for it to cool. "Sam, you said?" "Right. Something wrong?"
"Sam's the man I was living with here. Before we decided to part. I decided, actually." "Oh. You were…?" "We were lovers."
"I'm sorry about the breakup, Allie. Those kinda things happen."
"All the time," Allie agreed. But not to me. Not so suddenly. With a phone call in the night that knocked the entire world out of kilter. Damn it, she was straightening that world and Sam had no right coming around and trying to complicate things. He'd sent Billy Stothers to collect the rest of his belongings before Hedra had moved in; there was nothing of him left in the apartment, and Allie wanted nothing left of him in her life. That was the only way to stay off the roller coaster. He'd deceived her once and he would again, if she weakened and gave him the chance. He was booze and she was an alcoholic-one drink and she was lost. "Did you tell him you lived here?" Allie asked.
"No. He didn't ask, so I didn't have to lie. And he didn't seem to suspect. Probably figured I was just a friend waiting for you to get home."
"I doubt it," Allie said. "He knows me and my finances."
The wind and rain took another whack at the window, rattling the glass, almost breaking through. Or maybe the noise seemed louder because the TV was turned off. Who the hell needed "Wall Street Week"?
"Sam seems nice," Hedra said.
"Seems." Allie sipped at her tea. It was almost cool enough to drink without burning her tongue.
Hedra said, "He left a message. Told me to tell you he was sorry he missed you and he'd be back." Allie said, "I was afraid of that."
10
AS soon as she swung the door open, Allie was sure someone was in the apartment. The air hadn't the usual stale stillness of a room unoccupied since morning. Something had stirred it not long ago. There was no discernible sound, yet the silence wasn't complete.
She stood paralyzed on the threshold. Hedra was working all day at her temporary receptionist job. Sam. Maybe Sam had forced his way in. Her glance darted to the locks on the door. She found them intact and without scratches on the surrounding wood. But it was possible Sam had an extra key made before returning his. He'd deceived her in other ways, why not that? Damn him! Damn him!
She took a stiff step inside and glanced around the living room. Everything was normal, the television and stereo-candy for burglars-were still in place. Sam. Had to be Sam.
Anger rose in her and supplanted fear. She moved farther into the apartment and quietly shut the door.
She slipped off her high heels and laid them gently aside, then padded in her nyloned feet across the floor toward the short hall to the bedrooms. She peered into Hedra's room and found it unoccupied, the bed, unlike Allie's, neatly made in almost military fashion. It was possible to bounce a quarter off the spread and watch it glance off the ceiling, Allie thought. Hedra the good soldier. She'd delight the most demanding drill instructor.
The faintest of sounds was emanating from Allie's bedroom. Someone moving around, the soles of their shoes lightly scraping the floor. Odd. Almost as if they were dancing.
Allie edged forward, her heartbeat quickening. She reached out her right hand and touched the wall as if for balance. Should she be in here? she wondered. Should she be doing this? Of course, damn it! This was her apartment. She lived here, not Sam.
At the door she paused and drew a deep breath. Then she stepped boldly into the room. "Sam-" Not Sam. Hedra.
She was standing very erect in the middle of the room. Before the full-length mirror mounted on the closet door.
Hedra's body twitched and her head snapped around. Her eyes and mouth grew round as she saw Allie. She said something like "Whaa-" More a rush of breath than an exclamation.
She was wearing Allie's expensive blue dress from Airman's, with the silver belt, silver shoes, and even Allie's dangling silver earrings with the cubic zirconia stones. Transformation. Night-on-the-town time.
Allie stood rooted in surprise, not knowing what to say, and wondering what was happening. Hedra's slim body hunched over violently, as if she'd been punched in the stomach. She wobbled back a few steps in Allie's high heels, like a little girl playing dress-up, and groaned, "I thought you were going to lunch…" As if Allie had cheated by returning home.
Allie said, "The lunch was canceled. I thought you were working today."
"Didn't need me today." Hedra's lower lip quivered. Her face was flushed with embarrassment. If Allie handed her a shovel, she'd try to dig a hole in the floor so she could climb in and hide. "I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry about this…"
A hot rush of anger welled strong in Allie. Then it quickly waned. She's about to cry, she thought, staring at Hedra. Oh, no! I don't want to fucking see that! Or hear it! She's about to collapse into a sobbing jag that might last for an hour.
Then pity forced aside the anger, and she crossed the room and placed her hand on Hedra's quaking shoulder, on the smooth material of her own dress. She thought selfishly for a moment that she didn't want tear stains on it. Hedra shrank away as if Allie were preparing to strike her.
Allie managed a cardboard smile. "S'okay, Hedra. Okay. We're only talking about a dress here, not international espionage. No harm done."
"My God, I mean, I was trying on your clothes. I don't know why I did it, what possessed me. Honest."
"I believe you." She patted the shoulder, still vibrating beneath her touch. "Now you believe me. It's all right; it really is."
The flesh at the corners of Hedra's lips arced down and danced; tears still glistened and threatened in her injured-animal eyes. "It's just that I envy you so. I mean, how you seem to make your own way so confident and all. You're always sure of yourself and I'm always in doubt. It sounds crazy, but I thought, well, maybe if I put on the dress you look so great in…"
"That some of it would rub off?" Allie finished for her. "A kind of personality transfer?"