Hedra bit her lower lip so hard Allie thought blood might appear. Hedra said, "Well, I think it's… just rotten!"
That made Allie feel better, almost made her smile. Hedra being Hedra again. But it didn't tell her anything she hadn't known. Rotten. That was Mayfair, all right.
Hedra stared at the floor and ground her high heel into it, as if trying to bore through wood and plaster to the apartment below. "You were counting on the money from this assignment, weren't you?"
"Hell, yes. That's the card Mayfair was trying to play. He was smooth and he made it all seem halfway respectable, but it came down to prostitution and we both knew it. What we were talking about was ass for cash." "What'd you tell him?" "Christ, Hedra!" "I'm sorry. I meant what'd you say to him?" "Nothing at all. I simply left." "Best thing, maybe."
"I passed up some solid accounts because the Fortune Fashions job was so lucrative, and now here I sit with empty pockets and empty time." "Empty pockets?" "Well, they'll be empty soon."
Hedra gave a careless backhand wave, as if shooing away a mosquito instead of financial devastation. "I can carry us for a while. And Sam'll help, I'm sure."
"Yeah, I'm sure, too. If I ask him. But I don't know if I want that." "That isn't prostitution, Allie. Not with Sam."
Allie worked her shoes off and let them drop to the floor. One landed on the soft throw rug, the other thunked on wood. "I guess it's not," she said. She began massaging her foot. In her anger after leaving Mayfair, she'd walked blocks along Seventh Avenue before hailing a cab; her legs were tired and her feet were sore and felt clumsy and heavy. Her soles tingled as if she'd been marching barefoot on sandpaper. She leaned back and closed her eyes. "God, I really feel shitty, Hedra."
"Anybody would, after what happened." There was a hitch in Hedra's voice; she seemed about to cry. "I don't like seeing you like this."
"I know you don't," Allie said, her eyes still closed. "I don't like it, either."
Hedra spoke from the blackness. "If you want, I can get you something."
Allie wasn't sure what she meant. "No, I'll be okay. But thanks." "You sure?" "What do you mean by 'something'?" Allie asked. "You know. A pill."
Allie opened her eyes and met Hedra's guileless stare. "What kind of pill?" "Just something to make you feel better, that's all." "What kind of pill?" Allie repeated.
"I dunno, it's something like Demerol. You heard of Demerol?"
"Sure. In hospitals." Allie stared at Hedra, who was outlined against the bright haze of light streaming through the window. There was something unreal about her, as if she were someone's strayed shadow rather than solid substance. Here was yet another side of Hedra. "It's none of my business if you do drugs, Hedra; I'm not preaching. But it's not for me and thanks anyway." The figure silhouetted against the light writhed with discomfort. "Wait a minute, Allie, it's not like I'm a drug fiend. It's just that I got used to taking certain drugs when I was in the hospital in St. Louis." "I didn't say you were an addict."
"No, I guess you didn't. Guess you wonder what I mean, though, about being hospitalized and all."
Allie sat quietly, waiting, knowing Hedra felt compelled to tell her about this. Allie had been wounded and brought down to earth. The weak could safely confide in the weak.
"I was just a kid," Hedra said, "and a car hit me when I was on my bike. It tossed me twenty feet and injured my spine. The doctors couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong; injured backs can be like that. Anyway, I was in the hospital for a while, and they had me on this drug and that drug for pain. They were doing that to a lot of people in those days if they couldn't diagnose what was wrong; I even saw a TV documentary on it once. Well, eventually the pain just went away by itself, but I was in the habit of taking drugs when 1 felt bad. I still do it, but it's not as if I'm hooked or anything. There are millions of people like me, using drugs the way I do sometimes, to help them over the rough spots."
"I suppose there are," Allie said. "But it's a habit I never fell into. Where was your family when all this was going on?"
Hedra stepped out of the light and Allie was shocked by the dismay and rage on her face. "My family situation was never good. I try not to think much about those people, after the way they let me down. Heck, the way the brain can block out bad stuff, I hardly even remember them. Except for my father's hands, and the things he did with them. That's the way I see him now, just a pair of big powerful hands with dirt under the nails. I can't even picture my mother at all."
Her mood passed abruptly, as if a dark cloud blown across her mind had dissipated. Her mental sky was clear and blue again. She smiled. "Oh, well, it's all in the past. Doesn't matter anymore. It's today that matters. And tomorrow. Don't you think?"
Allie nodded. The end of the month would matter, when the rent had to be mailed to Haller-Davis. She said, "When you don't have any remaining family, like I don't, sometimes you think even bad family's better than nobody at all." "Oh, you're so wrong, Allie."
"Maybe. I guess it depends on the seriousness of the problem."
The phone jangled and she jumped at the noise. Lord, she was wired. Tempted to gulp down that pill. "Easy," Hedra said, "I'll get it."
She crossed the room and lifted the receiver. Said, "Hello. No, but she's right here. Just a minute." She held the receiver out for Allie. "For you." She cupped her hand over the mouthpiece. "Maybe it's that Mr. Mayfair calling to apologize."
"He's not the type," Allie said, hoping Hedra was right. She got up from the sofa and padded in her stockinged feet to the phone, pressed the receiver to her ear, and said hello.
A male voice said, "Allie, I'm gonna tie you to the bed and whip your ass till you come. Make you eat shit with a rough wooden spoon. Listen, bitch, I'm gonna…"
The voice faded to silence as Allie lowered the receiver in her trembling hand. Let it drop the final few inches to clatter into the cradle. Her breathing was ragged, her throat tight.
She tried to remember the voice of whoever had made the other obscene calls. She couldn't know for sure if this caller was the same man. "Who was it?" Hedra asked. "A crank call." "You okay?"
"Sure." She turned around and faked a smile that didn't fool Hedra, then felt it go brittle on her face.
"Oh! That kinda call, huh? Think it was that Mayfair jerk?"
Despite her loathing for the man, Allie was unable to imagine him making such a call. "No, not his style."
"Don't be so sure," Hedra said. "Remember, the creep asked for you by name." That was what Allie couldn't forget.
Hedra walked over to the window, her hands jammed deep in the pockets of Allie's coat as if she were cold.
Staring outside, she hunched her shoulders and shook her head. She said, "It takes all kinds, Allie. And they don't wear indentifying labels."
15
HE looked like a computer-game figure weaving through a maze. Allie watched Graham Knox's slender body maneuver among the crowded tables at Goya's as he brought her the hamburger and Diet Pepsi. Though he actually moved gracefully, there was that inherent and somehow appealing awkwardness about him that seemed to stem more from the tentative, intense expression he habitually wore than from physical motion. He always seemed preoccupied and puzzled by some inner conflict.
"You're busy tonight," she said as he placed her order on the table. The charred-beef scent of the hamburger wafted up to her. She wasn't sure if it made her feel hungrier or slightly ill.
"And you have something on your mind."
Allie was amazed. "How'd you know?"
Graham gave his canine-like lopsided smile and wiped his hands on the small white towel tucked in his belt. "I'm sort of a student of human nature. Gotta be, in my profession." A Beatles song, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," began blasting from the speakers. The decibel level of conversation in the restaurant rose to challenge it. The result was a maelstrom of noise. Graham leaned down close to her, his mouth near her ear. "You need to talk, Allie?" She felt his warm breath, like the life-breath of a lover.