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“Watch yourself,” said Daniel.

“No, you watch yourself. You invite me here into this hedonistic sociopath paradise where we can do whatever we want, so hell yeah I’m gonna dive at your wife when she tries to seduce me. Now, I apologize for getting rough. I didn’t hit her or anything; I just put my hand over her mouth. I won’t do it again. But come on, Daniel, I turned my former best friend over to you for who-knows-what kind of torture…did you think you were inviting Mr. Rogers?”

Daniel pulled the trigger.

I flinched at the sound of the gunshot. I turned and saw that a bit of smoke billowed from a bullet hole about six inches from my head, in a color photograph of a skinned body.

“You’ve got a point,” he said.

Josie started to protest, but he waved her silent. “I guess we need to go over some house rules. Do whatever you want to the prisoners. Respect the guests. Understand?”

“I understand.”

“I’m sorry to say that you’ve cost yourself an incredible couple of hours. Believe me, I know what you’re missing. But tomorrow we’ll start fresh. How does that sound?”

“That sounds fine,” I said. “Josie, I’m sorry. I got carried away. You should be a little less irresistible.”

“Jerk,” she muttered, opening the door and leaving.

“You’re not making friends here,” Daniel informed me. “I suggest you soak for a long time, then take a cold shower, get a lot of sleep, and hope things go better.”

“They will,” I promised.

“I’m counting on that. Sleep tight.” He left. I heard the door lock, and then promptly rushed into the bathroom and vomited.

After I’d recovered, I reached into the hot tub and turned the knob to drain some of the water. The bathroom had plenty of towels, so I used those to soak up the spilled water.

Now they were going to be watching me even more closely than before. I’d screwed up my chance. Possibly my only chance. And I hadn’t even gotten any use out of the fingernail clippers. Things had seemed pretty much hopeless before, but now…

I looked over at the bed.

No. No way.

I hurried over to it.

Yes!

A yellow card key. Josie must have lost it during our struggle, along with a stick of chewing gum.

Would she notice? If she stuck with Daniel, she might not need to use it. It had been a few minutes already. She could be in their bedroom. Or she could be on her way back.

Should I sneak out now, just in case, or wait for a better opportunity during the night, when everyone was asleep?

If they heard me leave, and there was an extremely strong likelihood of that happening if I went now, I’d be screwed. If she came back for the key, I’d be no worse off than I was before discovering it (which was pretty darn bad, admittedly, but I was trying to think positively). But if she didn’t come back, I might be able to find the prisoners. Find Roger.

I decided to wait.

I SPENT almost an hour in the Jacuzzi, doing my best to relax. Nobody had returned for the key.

I got out and got dressed in the old clothes. Looking at my watch, I saw that it was about five o’clock Alaska time. If they got a full night’s sleep, the mansion residents would probably be waking up to start their new day just after midnight. Appropriate.

An hour didn’t seem long enough to wait, but I was scared to doze off for fear that I wouldn’t wake up until they came to get me. An alarm clock would’ve been nice. Instead, I quietly paced around the room, breathing deeply, trying to get myself in a jolly state of mind.

The next hour passed very slowly, and I spent most of it checking my watch to see how quickly the hour was passing. Finally, I decided it was time to go. If the card worked.

I held the card up to the reader. There was a beep, followed by a click. I pulled the door open, carefully peered down both ends of the hallway, and stepped outside my room.

Chapter 12

I HAD A cover story ready-Josie had dropped her card during our scuffle, and I got bored and decided to take a stroll-but if they caught me I probably wouldn’t have a chance to use it. The usual variety of Andrew Mayhem screw-ups was no longer permissible. Bumbling incompetence would be fatal.

I shut the door behind me. I didn’t know exactly where the prisoners were being held, but it was certainly in the metal structure and not the main house. The mansion was practically a maze, but I could probably find my way back the way we’d come earlier.

And, hopefully, locate a telephone along the way.

In fact, looking for a phone was probably the best place to start. My room hadn’t been equipped with one, but the other bedrooms might. Probably any room that wasn’t specifically intended to store homicidal maniacs who hadn’t completely earned Daniel’s trust would have a way to contact the outside world, right?

If I accidentally opened a door where one of the others was staying, I was dead, but that wasn’t likely to happen. Not with this many rooms. Though that didn’t mean somebody in a nearby room wouldn’t hear me.

I decided to tiptoe to the end of the hallway before checking any rooms. I turned the corner and pressed my ear against the first door on the right. No noise from inside, so I waved my pass card in front of the reader.

The door unlocked. I took a deep breath, and then opened it. I stepped inside and shut the door behind me before turning on the light.

Surprise!

The colorful banner with that word hung across the bedposts. The floor was covered with balloons, though most of them were only half-inflated anymore. Wrapping paper littered the bed.

So not all celebrations in this house were completely demented. And they really needed a housekeeping staff.

I searched the room quickly, kicking balloons out of my way, but there was no phone. Nor any useful weapons, unless I wanted to use the balloons to smother somebody.

I shut off the light and exited.

I unlocked the bedroom next to it. It was similarly furnished, though without the surprise party decorations. No phone. Nothing helpful.

As I returned to the hallway, I heard a door open.

I ducked back into the room, closing the door quickly but softly. I considered hiding in the bathroom, but decided to stand by the doorway, ready to strike if somebody came in to investigate.

I stood in the dark for a minute.

Then five.

Then ten.

It didn’t appear that they’d heard me…unless they were waiting outside the door for me to come out.

But I couldn’t just stay in here all night. I had to get moving before somebody decided to check out my room.

I slipped back into the hallway. It was empty.

I didn’t like the idea of wandering around the mansion when there was a good chance that somebody else was roaming the halls, but I couldn’t give up. There had to be a phone somewhere. Or a way to free the prisoners.

I continued down the hallway. I turned another corner, and saw a door much larger than the others, made out of different wood. I unlocked it and went inside.

It was a huge office. A black desk took up almost a quarter of the office by itself, and the walls were covered with maps of various cities. As I walked over to the desk I glanced at the bookshelf, which was filled with encyclopedias, almanacs, and numerous other reference works. I wondered what kind of work was done here.

The desk drawers were locked, so I couldn’t get into them, but the top of the desk had all the usual office accessories: pens, pencil sharpener, tape, calculator, hole puncher, stapler…everything but a phone.

It did, however, have a fax machine.

I flipped on the power switch. It began to hum, a little too loudly for my comfort, and a digital message read, “WARMING UP…PLEASE WAIT.”