His face smoothed, eyes darkened. Even now she knew him so well, she could see his emotional retreat.
She closed her fist and hit it to her breast, her eyes stinging with tears all over again. “It hurts me to see you in pain. It hurts me to think of you suffering. It hurts me to think of you in such danger that you have to take a life. I’ve spent my whole life hurting because I wanted you and couldn’t have you. I just can’t take the hurting anymore. I love you, Zane, but it hurts just too damn bad, and now you’re taking risks for me that could get you killed. I don’t want that. Even if we can’t be together, I need to know you’re alive and happy and doing what you love to do.”
His voice, when he spoke, was thick with pain. “You want to walk away? What about Ty?”
“I don’t know.” God, why couldn’t she stop crying? “I need some time to think about it. He adores you. He’s so happy to have you in his life, I can’t take that away from him.”
She turned, reached for the door, but it felt too wrong. Unfinished. There was something she needed to do.
“Will you let me do something for you before I go?”
“Anything.”
She gestured to his bruised, battered body. “You did this for me. I want to give something back. I want to take care of you so when I leave I’ll know you’re going to be okay.”
* * *
Pain.
His life was all about pain.
And yet the pain in his body was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. Zane’s hand clenched on his breast. If he could rip his damn heart out of his chest he would. Go back to the darkness that had sustained him for the last nine years, back to the shadows. Out of the damn light.
He heard the rush of water in the shower from the en suite bathroom, a luxury afforded only the senior patch brothers who kept rooms at the clubhouse, but he couldn’t go in. He was too wound up, too out of control, too damn emotional.
What else could he do? He had meant every word when he told her he would fight to be with her. He just hadn’t realized she would be the one standing in his way.
With a roar, he thudded his fist against the wall. His hands were about the only place on his body that wasn’t bruised. Might as well remedy that problem because he had saved them for nothing.
When he felt no release from his assault on the wall, he ripped a drawer from the dresser and smashed it on the ground. Clothes flew across the room and the wood cracked and splintered. Like his heart.
“Zane!”
But now that the floodgates had opened, he couldn’t stop. He lifted the drawer and smashed it down again, his aching muscles protesting the impact. “Do you want Viper, Evie? Is that it? Is that what this is all about?” He knew it was ludicrous. She had seen who Viper was, but he needed a reason, something he could change.
“No, baby. You know that’s not true. Now come let me wash you and look after those cuts and bruises.”
Smash. Smash. Smash. He tore the drawer apart. He loved her compassion and yet he hated it if it meant the last time he touched her he would be in pain.
“I’ll shower with you so I can look after you properly.” She clasped the bottom of her T-shirt and tugged it over her head. Zane froze mid-strike, his primal instincts sharpening at the sight of her skin and her beautiful breasts encased in blue satin.
“I don’t want your help.” He threw the remnants of the drawer across the room.
“Too bad. And if you can’t do it for you, then do it for me.” Evie undid her bra and tossed it on the bed with her shirt. “It will make me … feel better.” She slid her jeans and panties over her hips and then kicked them off. Gloriously naked, quietly confident, undaunted by his rage, she turned into the bathroom. “Come on.”
Zane’s body shook, torn between going after his woman and unleashing his frustrations on the rest of the furniture.
Don’t go in. He knew what would happen if he followed her, and it wouldn’t involve standing still while she treated his wounds. And with his heart raw and exposed, he didn’t think he could handle that level of intimacy without totally losing control. With a growl, he ripped out another drawer, and hammered it against the wall until it shattered, pieces flying in all directions. Exhausted, he sank down on the bed, the ruins of the drawers scattered at his feet, his muscles quivering at the exertion. He could hear the shower behind him, feel the breath of steam, smell the floral fragrance of shampoo.
Evie.
Loves me.
Leaving me.
Overwhelmed with the need to touch her, he stripped off his clothes, all thoughts of staying away forgotten beneath the desire to hold her in his arms one last time.
Evie turned when he stepped into the shower, rivulets of water streaming over her beautiful body. “Took you long enough. Did you break all the drawers?”
Words deserted him. He took her in his arms and held her against him, his cock, painfully erect, pressed against her soft belly.
“It’s okay,” she murmured against his chest, her arms tightening around him.
He didn’t know how long they stood under the warm water, but his heart finally slowed its frenetic beat and the tension eased from his body.
“You’re mine.”
“And you’re mine. That won’t change.” She slid her hands up his chest ever so gently to circle his neck.
She was right about that. Nothing would change. He would find a way. He would fight for her until he couldn’t fight anymore.
“Let me take care of you now.” She soaked the washcloth and then gently rubbed it over his body, washing away the dried blood, cleaning carefully over his bruises. She kept her bottom lip tight between her teeth, and when she looked up he couldn’t tell if the drops on her cheeks were water or tears. Her hands were soft on his skin, gentle, and the warm water eased muscles that had been taut for days.
“I love your body.” Her hands smoothed soap down his back, over his ass. His cock was stiff and hard despite his emotional turmoil, aching for her touch, the slick heat of her pussy, the need to reassert his claim to her body. “So strong. So hard. Perfect. When I touch you, I feel safe.”
Not safe enough, or she wouldn’t be running away.
When her breast brushed against his chest, he couldn’t take anymore. Turning, he pulled her into his arms. “You are safe. I will always keep you safe, always take care of you.”
He started with her lips, gently tracing over them with his finger, then licking them clean. He slid soapy hands over her cheeks and her neck, and then he moved to her breasts, cupping and squeezing them beneath the running water until she arched beneath his touch.
“I think I’m clean there now,” she panted.
He knelt in front of her, kissing his way over her stomach, lapping water droplets from her skin, and the soft red-gold down over her mound. Her hands tightened in his hair when he gently parted her legs and eased her back against the wall. Then he lifted her knee, opening her to him. “Over my shoulder.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Only hurting that will happen is if you don’t let me love you.”
She did as he asked, locking her heel against his back, and he leaned forward and licked the sweet petals of her folds.
“Oh, God.” Her leg tightened, drawing him closer and he licked again, tasting her honey as water slid over his cheeks. His cock throbbed under the pounding spray as he sucked and teased up and around her clit. She rocked her hips against his mouth, but he wanted more from her. He wanted everything.
She was his. And he wanted her body and soul.
* * *
“Hold on to the showerhead. Don’t let go.”
Evie’s breath hitched. No hands meant no control. And this was supposed to be her show, her way of giving back to him. But she sensed he needed her like this, needed to take back some control. She reached up and his warm smile sent a wave of arousal through her slick, wet body.