He grimaced down at the sidewalk vacated by Samael.
Mika’el was going to love this.
He preferred not to think what Alex’s reaction would be.
Chapter 19
Alex twisted the dead bolt home. Never had she been so glad to see the back of her sister. Jen’s icy silence had made those last few minutes downright torturous. And just think, Alex had agreed to do this all over again at dinner on Thursday. Leaning her forehead against the door, she let the quiet of the hallway wash over her. From the kitchen came a clatter of pots and pans as Seth cleared away the last of the dinner.
Seth.
Her shoulders sagged.
Seth—and the conversation she’d avoided all day. How the hell was she going to tell him about Michael? About the mother who’d decided she needed his help now that he’d survived her assassination order? She squeezed her eyes shut. Would life ever resemble anything close to normal again?
A throat cleared behind her. “I’m no expert on mortal relationships, but I’m guessing that wasn’t the most successful evening.”
“Not really, no.” She sighed, facing him. “But it wasn’t your fault. Things between me and Jen have been . . . strained for a long time.”
“As strained as they are between me and her?”.
She smiled in spite of herself. “Maybe not that strained, no.”
“I never thought of myself as the invisible type.”
“Trust me, you’re not. And besides, she did thank you for saving Nina’s life, remember?”
Seth snorted. “More like she thanked the wall.” He leaned a shoulder against the doorpost beside him and slid his hands into his pockets, watching her. “You know the war will reach Earth eventually.”
“I know.”
“Will all mortals respond the way your sister does?”
“Pretending that it doesn’t exist, you mean? Some will.”
“And the others?”
Settling against the front door, she lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “Some will look for an explanation they can accept, others for a way to exploit things for their own purposes. Some will lash out in fear.”
“And when the fear spreads? You can’t protect humanity from itself forever.”
She closed her eyes. “I know.”
“I’ve decided to help.”
Shock snapped her eyelids open again. “I thought you didn’t want to get involved. You said this was between—Heaven and Hell.”
She’d been about to say your parents, but her brain still tended to dance around the fact that she was living with the son of —well. It was just easier not to think about the idea, let alone not voice it.
“Why the change of heart?”
His mouth twisted. “This isn’t going to go away, is it? Your job, you trying to save the world . . .”
“No. It’s not.”
“Even if you know it’s a hopeless cause.”
“Even then.”
“Then that’s why. If this quest of yours is going to consume your days—and, frankly, many of your nights—I might as well help. At least it will let me be near you, that being the whole reason I chose to be here and all,” he added dryly.
“You’re sure.”
“You want answers. I can help you get them. I’m sure.”
The weight of Mika’el’s visit grew heavier, pressing down on the relief she wanted to feel. The gratitude. She drew a breath. No more secrets. She had to tell him. “Seth—”
“Alex—”
They both stopped. She mustered a smile. “You first.”
A muscle flickered in front of his ear. His dark eyes looked away. “There’s just one thing. Did you mean what you told Jennifer? About Aramael?”
She searched her memory but came up blank on specifics. “I’m not sure what—”
Seth cut her off. “You called him the soulmate you can never have. Is that how you think of him?”
The roughness of his voice scraped across her heart. He’d overheard? Damn it. “No! Lord, no, Seth. I was angry and trying to make a point and—”
“Do you regret choosing me?”
She put a hand out to him. His arm, already rock-hard, contracted beneath her touch. She gripped harder. “I will never regret choosing you, Seth Benjamin. Ever.”
“Then you do love me?”
She looked up into a pain that sliced to her very quick. Viciously, she pushed away the guilt that plagued her, the doubts that haunted her. She remembered the agony of standing in a Vancouver alley, certain she had lost him. Remembered how his name had been the first she’d thought of when she regained consciousness. Remembered and wanted—needed—to believe. In herself, in him, in them.
“With all my heart,” she said.
For a moment, he didn’t move. Then he folded her into his arms, his chin atop her head. “Me, too,” he said.
Silence fell between them. Seth’s hand moved rhythmically against her back, making slow, gentle circles. Closing her eyes, she focused on the steady rise and fall of his chest, the thud of his heartbeat, his warmth merging with hers. However badly the evening had ended with Jennifer, she preferred to focus on all the things that had gone right. Seth’s attempt to bridge the gap between them, his efforts to belong, and this . . . one of those precious, priceless moments where the world seemed to fall away and leave the two of them suspended in a secure, protected bubble.
“It’s your turn,” his voice rumbled beneath her ear.
“What?”
“You wanted to tell me something.”
Michael.
Her throat closed. She couldn’t. Not now. Not after that.
“It can wait,” she said. “It wasn’t important.”
His hand resumed its massage, but the bubble enclosing them had already begun to shrink.
Chapter 20
“Any questions?” Alex shrugged into her coat and then reached for her scarf. Seth beat her to it, folding it in half, looping it around her neck, tucking the ends through the fold. Exactly the way she did it. She stretched up to kiss him.
“Apart from remaining skeptical about this whole Internet thing mortals have created, you mean?” He shook his head. “I still don’t see the point in relying on a tool that contains so much misleading—or wrong—information.”
“You just have to filter out the garbage. The real-time capacity is invaluable. It’s the best way we have to figure out where the babies have disappeared to—and who took them, on the off-chance that it isn’t the Fallen Ones after all. If humans are behind this, at least we can intervene.”
“And if it is the Fallen?”
She took down the strongbox from the closet shelf, unlocked it, and took out her service pistol. Slipping its magazine into place, she glanced at Seth. “You’re sure they’d still be here, in this world? Lucifer can’t take them?”
“To Hell? I’m sure. He wouldn’t even if he could. Their presence would sully his realm.”
She blinked at the idea that Lucifer, of all beings, could consider humans—or half-humans—dirty. Thrusting aside the incongruity, she slid her weapon into its holster at her waist and replaced the box on the shelf.
“Call me if you find anything?”
Seth arched a black brow. “Will you answer if I call?”
Heat crawled across her cheeks. “I will,” she promised.
Walking down the hall toward the elevator, she made another promise, this one to herself. Come Hell or high water, she would talk to someone today about her intimacy issues. She had no idea how she’d dance around the whole angel/demon thing in such a conversation, but she’d find a way. She had to. If Seth was willing to work at this, he deserved at least the same effort from her. They both did.