So when she says, "Close your eyes," I do. But only to speed things along.
"Now I want you to imagine long spindly roots sprouting from the soles of your feet and delving deep into the earth, carving into the soil and stretching their limits. Digging deeper and deeper into the ground until they've reached the earth's core and can't go any farther. Got it?"
I nod, picturing what she asks, but only so we can get this show on the road and not because I believe in it.
"Now take a deep breath, take several deep breaths, and let your whole body relax. Feel your muscles loosening, while your tension fades away. Allowing any lingering negative thoughts or emotions to disappear. Just banish them from your energy field and tell them good riddance. Can you do that?" Um, whatever, I think. Just going through the motions and feeling pretty surprised when my muscles really do start to relax. And I mean, really relax. Like I'm at peace after a long hard battle. I guess I wasn't aware of just how tense I've been or how much negativity I was lugging around until Ava made me release it. And even though I'm willing to do just about anything to get into that room and closer to Summerland, I have to admit that some of this mumbo-jumbo stuff might really work. "Now draw your attention up until you're focused on the crown of your head, the area right at the top. And imagine a solid beam of the purest golden white light penetrating that very spot and easing its way all down your neck, your limbs, your torso, all the way down to your feet. Feel that warm, wonderful light healing every part of you, coating every last cell both inside and out, allowing any lingering sadness or anger to be transformed into loving energy by this powerful healing force. Feel the light surging inside you like a steady beam of lightness, love, and forgiveness with no beginning or end. And when you start to feel lighter, when you start to feel yourself purified and cleansed, open your eyes and look at me, but only when you're ready."
So I do, I go through the whole white light ritual, determined to participate and at least pretend to take these steps seriously since it's important to Ava. And just as I imagine a golden beam coursing through my body, coating my cells and all that, I also try to calculate just how long I should delay opening my eyes so it won't look too fake.
But then, something odd happens. I find myself feeling lighter, happier, stronger, and despite the desperate state I arrived in —fulfilled.
And when I do open my eyes, I see that she's smiling at me, her entire body surrounded by the most beautiful violet aura I've ever seen.
She opens the door and I follow her inside, blinking and squinting as I adjust to the deep purple walls of this small spare room that, from the looks of it, seems to double as a shrine.
"Is this where you give your readings?" I ask, taking in the large collection of crystals and candles and iconic symbols that cover the walls. Watching as she shakes her head and settles onto an elaborate embroidered floor cushion, patting the one right beside her and motioning for me to sit too.
"Most of the people who show up here are occupying a dark emotional space, and I can't risk letting them in. I've worked very hard to keep the energy in this room pure, clean, and free of all darkness, and I don't allow anyone to enter until their energy is cleared, including me. That cleansing exercise I just put you through, I do it first thing every morning, just after I wake, and then again before entering this room. And I recommend you do it too. Because even though I know you thought it was nonsense, I also know you're surprised by how much better you feel." I press my lips together and avert my gaze. Knowing she doesn't have to read my mind to know what I'm thinking. My face always betrays me —it's incapable of lying.
"I get the whole healing light thing," I say, gazing at the bamboo blinds covering the window and the shelf lined with stone statues of deities from all over the globe. "And I have to admit that it did make me feel better. But what was that root thing all about? It seemed kind of weird."
"That's called grounding. " She smiles. "When you came to my door, your energy felt very scattered and this helps to contain it. I suggest you perform that exercise daily as well."
"But won't it keep us from reaching Summerland?
You know, by grounding us here?"
She laughs. "No, if anything, it'll help you stay focused on where you really want to go."
I gaze around the room, noticing how it's so crammed with stuff, it's hard to take it all in. "So is this like your sacred space?" I finally say.
She smiles, her fingers picking at a loose thread on her cushion. "It's the place where I come to worship and meditate and try to reach the dimensions beyond.
And I have a very strong hunch that this time, I'll get there."
She folds her legs into the lotus position and motions for me to do so as well. And at first I can't help but think that my new long and gangly legs will never bend and entwine like hers. But a moment later I'm shocked by the way they just slip right into place, folding around each other in a way that's so natural and comfortable without the least bit of resistance. "Ready?" she asks, her brown eyes on mine. I shrug, gazing at the soles of my feet, amazed to see them so visible as they rest on top of my knees, wondering what kind of ritual she'll put us through next.
"Good. Because now it's your turn to lead." She laughs. "I've never been there before. So I'm counting on you to show us the way."
CHAPTER 24
I had no idea it would be so easy. Didn't believe we'd be able to get there. But just after I lead us through the ritual of closing our eyes and imagining a brilliant portal of shimmering light, we joined hands and toppled right through, landing side by side on that strange buoyant grass.
Ava looks at me, her eyes wide, her mouth open, but unable to form any words.
I just nod and gaze all around, knowing just how she feels. Because even though I've been here before, that doesn't make it any less surreal.
"Hey, Ava," I say, rising to my feet and brushing the seat of my jeans, eager to play tour guide and show her just how magical this place can be. "Imagine something. Anything. Like an object, an animal, or even a person. Just close your eyes and see it as clear as you can and then ..."
I watch as she closes her eyes, my excitement building as her brows merge together and she focuses on her object of choice.
And when she opens her eyes again, she clasps her hands to her chest and stares straight ahead, crying, "Oh! Oh, it can't be —but look—it looks just like him and he's so real!"
She kneels on the grass, clapping her hands together and laughing with glee as a beautiful golden retriever leaps into her arms and smothers her cheeks with wet sloppy licks. Hugging him tightly to her chest, murmuring his name again and again, and I know it's my duty to warn her he's not the real deal.
"Ava, um, I'm sorry but I'm afraid he won't —" but before I can finish, the dog slips from her grasp, fading like a pattern of vibrating pixels that soon vanish completely. And when I see the devastation on her face, my stomach sinks, feeling guilty for initiating this game. ''I should've explained," I say, wishing I hadn't been so impulsive. "I'm so sorry."
But she just nods, blinking back tears as she brushes the grass from her knees. "It's okay. Really. I knew it was too good to be true, but just to see him like that again, just to have that moment —" She shrugs. "Well, even if it wasn't real, I don't regret it for a second. So don't you regret it either, okay?" She grasps my hand and squeezes it tight. "I've missed him so much, and just to have him for those few brief seconds was like a rare and precious gift. A gift I got to experience thanks to you."