Sneezer, the butler, stood in the open centre of the table, a white cloth over one arm of his now immaculate coat. His once-untidy hair was combed back, tied with a ribbon and powdered white. He held a silver tray with three crystal tumblers of something orange (probably juice) and a tall wineglass full of a blood-coloured liquid Arthur hoped was actually wine.
There was no one sitting on the chairs, but there was a large crowd of Denizens behind the table, all standing quietly. Arthur recognised Dr Scamandros and waved, and then he waved again as he saw Sunscorch slightly behind him, looking very fine but somewhat uncomfortable in the admiral's uniform that was his right as the new Wednesday's Noon. Soon Arthur was waving all over the place as he recognised Japeth the Thesaurus and Mathias the Supply Clerk standing together, and Monday's Dawn and Wednesday's Dawn, and others from his previous adventures – as Leaf might call them – in the House.
"Take your seats," bellowed Dame Primus, her voice going all gravelly and low, startling Leaf. "Let this council be in session. Suzanna, you can return the Transfer Plates to the china cabinet before you join us, please."
Suzy grimaced, gave a clattering curtsy, and ran out, pausing to stick out her tongue at Dame Primus as the Will turned and gestured at the golden chair.
"That is your throne, Lord Arthur. Everyone else is arranged in order of precedence."
"Where do I sit, then?" asked Leaf.
"You may stand behind Arthur," said Dame Primus coldly.
"Actually, I think Leaf had better have a chair next to me," said Arthur firmly. "As an honoured guest."
"Very good, sir," said Sneezer, making Arthur jump. The butler was somehow behind him now, offering him an orange juice. "I shall place a chair for Miss Leaf."
"I have prepared an Agenda for this council," announced Dame Primus as she sat down. Her chair swirled through red, white, and gold and Arthur noticed it grew a few inches at the back, almost matching his own chair's height.
Dame Primus tapped a large hard-bound book of at least three or four hundred pages that was sitting in front of her on the table. Arthur had a copy in front of his seat too. He sat down, dragged the book over, flipped the cover open, and read Being an Agenda for a Council to Discuss Various Troublesome Matters Pertaining to the House, the Release of the Will of the Architect, the Assumption of the Rightful Heir, and other Diverse Matters.
The next page had a list of items numbered from one to thirty. The page after that had thirty-one through sixty.
Arthur turned to the end and saw that there were over six thousand Agenda items.
"I suggest we begin with Item One," said Dame Primus. "And work our way through."
Arthur looked at Item One.
Arbitration Between Demesnes, Article One: The Dispute Concerning Record Filing and Transport of Records between the Middle and Lower House.
"The Agenda is arranged alphabetically," said Dame Primus helpfully. "All the Arbitration matters are first."
"I haven't got time for this," said Arthur. He shut the agenda book with a loud clap. "What I want to know is what that Spirit-eater is, what it's going to do to my family, and how to get rid of it. Dr Scamandros, do you know?"
"This is quite improper," Dame Primus complained. "I must protest, Lord Arthur. How can we properly come to conclusions and act effectively if we don't follow our Agenda?"
"Why don't you put the Agenda in order of importance, and while you're doing that, we'll talk about the Spirit-eater," said Arthur, not daring to look at Dame Primus as he spoke. There was something about her that made him want to quietly sit and do as he was told. She reminded him of the scariest teacher he'd ever had, who could stun a classroom into silence just by appearing in the doorway.
But like that teacher, Arthur found that if he didn't meet her gaze, she was easier to confront. "Dr Scamandros?"
"Ah, well, I haven't had much time to look into things," said Scamandros with a jittery glance at Dame Primus. The tattoos of palm trees on his cheeks suddenly shook and half-a-dozen nervous monkeys fell out and slid down to his chin before the palm trees disappeared and were replaced by clock faces with swiftly moving hands. "I mean, I barely had time for a glass of revitalising tonic at Port Wednesday before I was hustled here. But nevertheless, I do have some information, collected with the aid of Monday's Noon, who while not trained in the Upper House is nevertheless a capable sorcerer …"
He paused to bow to Monday's Noon, who bowed back. Arthur gripped his orange juice and tried not to look too impatient. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Suzy slink back in and sit on the floor, hidden behind Monday's Noon.
"As far as we can ascertain," Scamandros continued, "Spirit-eaters have only been raised on a handful of occasions in the whole history of the House. A Spirit-eater is a potent and unpleasant type of Nithling created to assume the identity of someone, either Denizen or mortal. Its chief power is to cloak itself in an exact likeness of its target, and it also has the ability to extrude its mentality into those around it, whether they be mortal or Denizen –"
"What?" interrupted Arthur. "What does “extrude its mentality” mean?"
"I'm not too certain … apparently once a Spirit-eater has done it, though, it is able to control its victims" minds and read their recent thoughts and memories. It does this in order to further its deception. Initially it will have only the usual, exterior knowledge of its target, so it seeks to learn more from the target's confidants and fellows."
"You mean it's going to mentally take over my family?" Arthur spilled his orange juice as he stood up in agitation. "How long will it take to do that?"
"Yes, that is … I suppose that is what it will do," said Scamandros. "Though I don't know how."
"How much time would it need?" asked Arthur. This was the worst thing, his family being in danger. He remembered the two Grim's Grotesques breathing their foul breath of forgetting over his father; how he had felt in that awful second as that fog had rolled over his dad. Now his whole family was threatened again, and he was stuck in the House. They would be defenceless.
I have to help them, Arthur thought desperately. There has to be something … someone …
"A few days, I think. But I cannot say for certain," said Scamandros.
Arthur looked at Leaf. She met his gaze.
"I guess you're thinking what I'm thinking," she said. "You can't go back or the whole world goes kapow. But I could go back and try to get rid of this Spirit-eater."
"I don't know," said Arthur. "It sounds very dangerous. Maybe Monday's Noon could –"
"No interference!" boomed Dame Primus. "Remember the Original Law! The mortal may return to whence she came, but no others may sully the Architect's work."
"I think it's more than a bit sullied already," said Arthur crossly. "How come it's all right for the bad guys to do whatever they want, but whenever I want to do something it's “forget about it”? What's the good of being the Rightful Heir anyway? All I get is trouble!"
Nobody answered Arthur's question, and he noticed everyone was not quite looking at him – and no one was telling him to behave himself. He felt suddenly weird, and wished that somebody would just say, "Shut up, Arthur, we've got work to do."
"Is it possible?" asked Leaf. "To get rid of the Spirit-eater, I mean."
Arthur and Leaf both looked at Scamandros. The tattoos on his face showed some anxiety, picturing shaky towers that were being built up stone by stone, only to fall down as the last course was laid.
"I think so. But it would require finding the item used to create the Spirit-eater in the first place. That will be something personal from its target, overlaid with spells. In this case, something of yours, Arthur, that was close to you for quite a while. A favourite book, or a spoon, or perhaps some piece of clothing. Something of that order."