Gretchen leaned over, frowning. “What will your parents think?”
“My parents are a D/s couple. They should think this is all their fault. If they had done a better job with teaching me to hide my sexuality, this wouldn’t be happening. Guilt. They should have instilled a whole lot of guilt in me if they didn’t want me to run off with the first two überhot rich Dom twins who need to share. I mean, seriously, they should have planned for that.”
Suddenly she really wanted to talk to her mom. Her mom would be amused by Chase and charmed by Ben. Her dad would hate them both, but that was okay because he was her dad.
And Ben and Chase would likely be horrified that she was thinking about taking them home to meet the folks. God, move fast much, Nat?
She stopped.
“What is it?” Kitten asked, proving she was far more astute than most people gave her credit for.
“You know that little voice in your head? The one that talks to you and makes tons of sarcastic comments?”
Kitten grinned. “I call mine Miss Kitty. She’s quite vulgar.”
Gretchen shook her head. “No. I don’t have some inner voice. I think that’s called insanity, Natalie.”
But it was her insanity. Since she was a kid, she’d had this voice in her head that told her when she was being a dumb-ass. It was the same voice that had whispered to her when it was time to paint and what she should make come alive. It was a voice that died when she’d been taken.
But suddenly she saw herself working, her hands moving across a canvas. Colors. Beiges and greens. Earth tones for Ben. He was rooted, a glorious man who built a home for the ones he loved. Blues and reds for Chase because his head was a chaotic, beautiful mess. She saw the whole painting in one flash of imagery. Sleek lines and gorgeous colors. It would encompass the way she felt. Free. Saved.
“Nat, you’re crying.” Kitten touched her face, wiping away the tears she hadn’t known she was shedding.
“I’m happy.”
She was. She wanted to work. She hadn’t wanted to work in years. Oh, she went to her job, but that was what it was—a way to earn cash. Painting, that was her work, and she’d ignored it for years. She didn’t even own a paintbrush anymore.
“OMG, you guys are pervs. Seriously, what’s up with y’all and no clothes?” Georgia walked in carrying a small black bag.
Abby Barnes followed right behind her. “Don’t worry about it, hon. This space has seen a ton of nudity.” Abby was a gorgeous woman who looked younger than her forty plus years. She wore tight-fitting jeans and a green shirt that accentuated her skin and red hair. “Now, I came up here to tell you that dinner is in twenty minutes and your men are on their way back. Georgia here seemed to think you might want to pretty up.”
“I brought my makeup. All Chanel. I’m so excited. Makeover. Ben and Chase asked me earlier to play around and see if I can make you look a little different. You know, for the undercover work. They know I spent some time on the stage. I totally got into makeup and costumes. And Abigail has a shockingly large collection of wigs.” Georgia grinned as she started to open her overly large makeup bag.
Abby laughed. “Well, I have been known to play dress up. Though I seriously doubt they want you in the naughty nun’s habit or looking like the slutty nurse.”
“I don’t know. My brothers have some weird taste.” Georgia opened her case.
Nat grimaced. She didn’t really love makeup, but Chase and Ben were so hot she felt a need to try, and Georgia obviously knew what she was doing. She was lovely and so put together. Nat’s version of a chic outfit was whatever went with her uniform pants. Georgia was their sister. She fit into their world. How the hell was Nat supposed to fit in? She’d grown up fairly middle class and her parents hadn’t exactly been mainstream. Ben and Chase had grown up rich.
Of course, this little session wasn’t really about making her look good. They wanted her to look different. So she could go undercover with them as their sub.
“Maybe I should wash my face first.” It seemed like a good idea before someone put a bunch of makeup on her. Abby handed her a robe, and she made her way to the bathroom.
Nat heard the chatter as everyone told Kitten to put on some clothes and Kitten pouted. It was kind of nice to be surrounded by people. She’d walled herself off for the last few years, choosing to be alone as much as possible.
“Hey, they have enough makeup out there to kill a cow, you know.” Gretchen leaned against the doorway.
Nat smiled, turning on the hot water. “Georgia seems very knowledgeable.”
“Yeah. So you and these guys, huh?”
Why did Gretchen have to be so curious? “I don’t know. Right now it’s just play, you know?”
“I didn’t think you played anymore.” There was a hint of judgment in Gretchen’s voice. “You’ve ignored the Doms who were interested in you.”
Nat found a washcloth and soaked it in hot water. “I wasn’t interested in them.”
“You don’t think that’s a little arrogant of you?”
Nat stopped, staring at Gretchen through the mirror. “Where are you going with this, Gretchen? I have the right to decide who I want to be with. Just because some Dom thinks he wants me doesn’t mean I have to go with him. Where is this coming from?”
She shrugged, her brown eyes sliding away. “I just know some Doms who said you were rude. I think it’s unbecoming.”
Nat felt her shoulders square. “Who said I was rude?”
“I’m not going to break trust. Just know you’re getting a reputation.” Gretchen looked at her through the mirror. “I think it’s great that you found a Dom. I wish it hadn’t been two, but you tend to do things your own way. I don’t think a ménage can really work. Men are jealous creatures.”
“They’re fine. They’ve shared before.” But Chase’s words were coming back to haunt her. He hadn’t wanted to share this time. He’d wanted her for himself. What if he changed his mind?
“I hope you’re right. I just worry that two men can’t really share.”
“I think Jack Barnes and Sam Fleetwood would say something different.” Jack and Sam shared a wife and each other.
“It’s not the same. Jack is the head of this household. Jack makes the rules. Sam and Abby both belong to him. It would be different if Sam wasn’t sleeping with Jack, too. How do two alpha males share?”
When they seemed to share one brain, how could they not? Still Gretchen’s words were making her think a little too much. Was it something that could work over the long term? All the long-term threesomes she knew had a Dom and two subs. She’d heard Leo was sharing with his brother, but they’d only been together for a short while and they’d had a rocky start. How could someone as obviously possessive as Chase really share? “Like I said, it’s not serious.”
Gretchen sniffled a little. “It can be hard to share, to give and give to a person and to know they still want someone else.”
Nat turned. “What are you talking about?”
Gretchen shook her head, standing up straight. “I’m just making a point. Jealousy will always happen. But you know better than the rest of us, don’t you? You always have.”
“I never said I was smarter than anyone else.”
Gretchen held out her hands palms up. “I’m screwing this up. I’m sorry, Nat. It’s been a stressful couple of days.”
“Yeah, I know.” She was the one under scrutiny for murder.
Gretchen was the one who huffed. “You know this isn’t easy on anyone. This has been hard on me. You’re important to me. I need you.”
Nat took a deep breath because Gretchen was self-centered, not selfish. She had to remember the difference. Gretchen had been through a lot. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was going.”