Money-grubbing assholes were what they were, but he’d managed to force their hand. It would teach them to try to grab his land. It still made him angry thinking about what they had tried to do. Thank god he’d kept it from Lexi. He didn’t want her worrying about something like that.
Trev smiled as he looked out over the spread he shared with Jamie and Noah. “No, but there are some drawbacks. I find Nell Flanders sometimes trying to talk my cows into forming a union. She thinks all living creatures respond to compassionate political views. I don’t think she’s ever watched a nature documentary in her life.”
It was a weird place, but he might take some weirdness over the nasty politics of his hometown. They were only accepted because of the money the ranch brought the town. Hell, that really only meant they hadn’t been run out of town. He had no idea what he was going to do when his kids were old enough to go to school. He was just grateful he’d kept Lexi out of it. “Well, Bo’s really happy here it seems to me. Trev, I just wanted to tell you how glad I am that you took Bo under your wing. He’s a damn fine man and a happy one. You and Beth have done spectacular things with him.”
Trev shook his head. “Nah, we just gave him a place to find himself. Everyone needs a place like that. It’s what a Dom is supposed to do.”
And that was part of Aidan’s problem. He wasn’t Lexi’s safe place anymore. He wasn’t so sure he even was her Dom anymore. He started out trying to give her what she seemed to need, but what she seemed to need now wasn’t him. “What if giving my submissive space means letting her go?”
Trev turned to him, a frown on his face. “I don’t think Lexi wants to go anywhere. I damn well know Lucas doesn’t want to. That’s beyond obvious. I saw the way he looked at you. I don’t have any interest in men, but let me tell you I was a little jealous of you this morning. He looked like he couldn’t stand another minute without you. My Beth is too tired to look at me like that these days. I think she would rather cut my dick off than let me use it on her. It was like that in the last half of her pregnancy. She was just so tired and sick. I’m hoping it changes once Caleb lets her off the leash in a couple of weeks.” Trev’s harsh words were softened by an amused chuckle. “I’m praying for it because I’m dying.”
“Lexi was insatiable when she was pregnant. I guess it’s different for different women.” It was only a few weeks after she’d given birth to Chelsea that she’d moved into complete work mode. When she’d been pregnant, she hadn’t shut him out. She’d clung to him and Lucas, allowing them to treat her like a queen. He’d loved that time.
“But she’s not now, is she?” Trev asked. “I will admit, I was worried things wouldn’t be the same after the baby was born. I hope things settle down. Beth seems happier now. She’s been a little more cuddly. Damn, I missed cuddling her.”
“You’ll find a new normal. We were the same after Jack. A couple of months in and we found our groove again. Maybe it was too soon to have another one. Maybe she needed more time. We didn’t exactly plan Chelsea. She was a happy accident, but I’m worried Lexi has postpartum depression. I read somewhere it can last a really long while. I ordered her to go and talk to Leo, but Leo says she’s fine. I think she lied to him. She’s really smart and quite good at creating a fictional tale.” The first of her many manipulations that had cut him off at every turn. Every time he tried to deal with the problem, she had another excuse. “I’ve tried to get her to talk to me, but she brushes me off and says nothing is wrong, that she just wants to get back to her career. She took a month off because of Chelsea, but apparently the world of a romance novelist is very fast paced. She keeps telling me she’ll lose her place if she doesn’t keep up.”
“Sometimes, we need to be reminded of just what our place is,” Trev said. “Sometimes that reminder is best served with a nice flogging. I have some stingers if you need one. Brand new. It’s a hobby of mine. Drinking coffee and making floggers.”
Aidan shook his head. “No. She’s still too fragile. Chelsea’s whole pregnancy was hard on her.”
“And you watched her in childbirth?”
Aidan nodded. “Yes, I was there the whole time, both me and Lucas. Her blood pressure dropped in the middle of labor. She nearly coded. They had to cut her open in her room. They couldn’t even wait to get her to the ER.”
Trev nodded, his expression grim. “So you nearly lost her and now you’re letting her run wild. I understand the impulse, but she’s alive, and I have never seen a woman who was asking her Dom to take control more than your wife.”
He shook off the mental image of all that blood on the floor. Lexi’s blood. And he’d put her there. Oh, Chelsea might not be his, technically, but he’d wanted to get her pregnant again. He’d loved watching her get round and soft. “I felt like I should give her whatever she wanted. She almost died.”
“I bet it wasn’t as close as it felt like. Those doctors don’t often lose women anymore. I’m not making light of what happened, but I’ve damn near died a couple of times and I know what I needed afterward. I needed control. I needed to feel safe. How is Lucas handling it?”
“He’s not getting what he needs.” Aidan stared out into the distance. How was the world still so beautiful when his life felt like it was falling apart? “He’s a switch.”
Trev whistled a little. “Damn. So he’s got no one to top.”
“I’ve tried, but he knows I’m not enjoying it. I feel so helpless. I never realized just how delicate a balance it is for us. I thought we were solid. I thought we had gotten through the rough stuff.”
“Life is full of rough stuff, Aidan. You should know that. It’s why we get married in the first place, so we have someone to get through it all with. It’s been really quiet and happy for me and Bo and Beth, but I don’t doubt we’ll come up against some bad shit. We have a long time to live, and I’m sure our kids are going to give us hell. How we deal with it is going to be the real measure of our marriage. I know we place a lot of emphasis on weddings, but that’s not the end of the story. It’s just the beginning. The rest might not be as pretty, but that’s life.”
And he was letting it pass all of them by. “I think Lucas blames me. He won’t say it, but he thinks I should have brought her back in line long ago. I just thought I was helping her live her dream. I don’t know how I would handle it if she told me to stop ranching.”
“What would you say if she asked you to cut back?”
He sighed because there was no easy way to answer that question. “I would say that a ranch requires what it requires. You know damn well this isn’t a nine-to-five job.”
“No, but you have the money to hire extra hands. You could make it a nine-to-five job. With the new baby, we’ve put up extra money to hire another helper so one of us is always close at hand to help her out.”
Aidan shook his head. “I don’t have that kind of money. Everything I have is invested in the land. The free money we have is Lexi’s money and Lucas’s money. It shouldn’t go into the…” Fuck. The truth hit him like a bull on the loose. What had he been doing? “I was about to say it shouldn’t go into my ranch.”
Trev nodded as though he’d figured out the problem long ago. “Yours. Not theirs. You’re holding yourself apart. Do you think they can’t feel that?”
Aidan groaned, the enormity of what he’d done settling in his gut. “I didn’t mean it like that. You have to understand, Lucas came from money. Lexi’s stepdads have more money than god. The only thing I brought to the table was that rundown ranch that Jack Barnes had to help me save. I guess I didn’t think they would want it. I thought it was my burden to bear.”