“I was independent, up to a week ago. Now I'm going to be like a two-year-old, if that.”
“No, you're not. We want to be your roommates, Annie, not your jailers. You can come and go as you please.”
“And how do you think I'm going to do that? With a white stick?” she said, as tears filled her eyes. “I don't know how to use one.” As she said it, all three of them thought of the people they had seen trying to cross the street in heavy traffic, and needing assistance. “I'd rather be dead. Maybe I'll just stay at Dad's.” It sounded like the kiss of death to them. Even their dad would be at her. “I can figure it out for myself.” She was crying again, and Sabrina was near tears herself, in frustration.
“Don't make it so hard for yourself. Come on, Annie. This is going to be hard enough. Let us help.”
“No!” Annie said, and rolled over in bed with her back to them. Sabrina and Candy exchanged a long look and said nothing. “And don't look at each other like that!” she shouted. Sabrina jumped when she said it.
“So now you've got eyes in the back of your head? You have your back to us. And pardon me for mentioning it, but you're blind, so how do you know what we're doing?”
“I know you!” she said angrily, and Sabrina chuckled.
“You know, you're as big a brat as you were when you were seven. You used to spy on me, you little shit, and tell Mom.”
“So did Tammy.”
“I know, but you were worse. And she always believed you, even when you lied.”
She still had her back to them, but Sabrina could hear her laughing in her bed.
“So are you still going to be a brat, or are you going to be reasonable? Candy and I found a great house, and I think you'd love it. We all would. And it would be fun to live together.”
“Nothing I do is ever going to be fun again.”
“I doubt that,” Sabrina said sternly. She couldn't wait to hear from the shrink. Annie needed one badly. They all did. And maybe she could tell them how to deal with Annie. “I'm signing the lease tomorrow night. And if we lose this house because you're having a tantrum, I'll be really pissed.” She had a right to more than a tantrum, but Sabrina figured that maybe being firm with her would work best. All she wanted to do was put her arms around her and hold her, but maybe Annie needed something stronger than that. Hard as it was to do, they couldn't let her wallow in feeling sorry for herself.
“I'll think about it,” was all Annie would say, and she wouldn't turn around to face them. “Go away. Leave me alone.”
“Do you mean that?” Sabrina looked shocked, and Candy hadn't said a word. She had always hated Annie's temper. For her, Annie was the big sister who had given her a hard time when she was growing up. They were five years apart.
“Yes,” Annie said sadly. She hated the world.
Sabrina and Candy stayed for another half-hour and tried to jolly her out of her black mood, without success. And finally they took her at her word and left, promising to be back later, if she called them and wanted them to come back, or tomorrow.
Both sisters talked about it on the way home. Sabrina thought that maybe it was a good sign that she was angry. And she had no one else to take it out on but them. In truth, she was railing at the fates that had taken her mother from her in one fell swoop, and left her blind. They had been cruel fates indeed.
“What'll we do about the house?” Candy asked, sounding worried. “What if she won't move in with us?”
“She will,” Sabrina said calmly. “She doesn't really have a lot of choice.”
“That's sad.” Candy was feeling sorry for her again.
“Yes, it is. The whole thing is sad. For her, for Dad, for us. But we have to make the best of it.” She was still excited about the house they had found. It was perfect for them. “She'll come around,” Sabrina said, hoping it was true.
When they got home, she found a message from the shrink. Sabrina called her back, told her what had happened, and she agreed to come out from the city to see Annie. She said her practice was in New York, but in special circumstances, she made exceptions and visited patients where they were. Annie's circumstances sounded special enough to her. She promised to come out on Wednesday, and was encouraged to hear that they were moving to the city in the next few weeks. She had time to take Annie on as a patient and sounded interested in her case. Sabrina was relieved, and thought she sounded nice on the phone. She had been highly recommended by Annie's surgeon.
Sabrina left a message on Tammy's cell phone then to tell her they got the house. And she spent the rest of the afternoon returning calls and making notes. She called her office and checked in, then called her landlord about how to go about releasing her apartment. It sounded like a fairly simple procedure to her. She explained the circumstances to them, and they were sympathetic and helpful.
They didn't visit Annie again till the next day. When they got there, a nurse was walking her down the hall, and Annie didn't look happy. She sensed them before they greeted her. She took Sabrina's arm then, and they walked back to her room. She looked skittish, and was anxious about bumping into things. More than ever, seeing her out of her room made her sisters realize how vulnerable she was. She was like a turtle without a shell. She was very quiet once back in her room, and then finally she told them. She had spoken to Charlie. She looked sad the moment she said it, and they both knew why.
“He was in Greece, and he said his phone wasn't getting reception till now.” She hesitated and then went on. “He said he met someone else. That's cute, isn't it? I left Florence less than two weeks ago, and he was madly in love with me. And within days, he meets someone else. He was a shit on the phone. He didn't want to talk. I guess he went to Greece with her.” Two tears crept down her cheeks as she said it, and Sabrina gently brushed them away.
“Guys are shits sometimes. I guess women are too. People can be. That was a lousy thing to do to you.” Even lousier than she knew.
“Yeah, it was. I didn't tell him that I'm blind, so it wasn't that. I told him about the accident though, and that Mom had died. But I said I was okay. I didn't want him to feel sorry for me. If everything had been okay with us, I would have told him. So he could decide if he was okay with it. But I never got that far. He told me almost as soon as he answered.” Listening to her, Sabrina decided it was better that way. And she was glad she'd called and warned him. If Annie had told him, and he'd rejected her, it would have been much worse. This way she thought she'd gotten dumped like anyone else. Rotten luck. And bad behavior on his part. But not the mortal blow of a man who no longer wanted her because she was blind. Losing him was for the best. He clearly wasn't a good guy.
“I'm sorry, Annie,” Sabrina said, and Candy told her there would be other guys, and he was obviously a jerk.
“There won't be other guys for me now. No one wants a woman who's blind,” she said, feeling sorry for herself. Sabrina decided not to tell her yet about the shrink, but she was glad that she was coming to see Annie.
“Yes, there will,” Sabrina said gently. “You're just as beautiful and smart and nice as you were before. None of that has changed.”
“You know, I get dumped all the time,” Candy added, and both of her sisters laughed. It was hard to believe that with looks like hers. “A lot of the guys I go out with are assholes. Some guys our age just are. They don't know what they want. They love you today, and want someone else tomorrow. Or they just want to get laid, or get into a party. There are a lot of users out there.” Sabrina realized it was probably one of the standard features of Candy's life. A lot of people wanted to use her. And she was young to handle all that. And Tammy wasn't having an easy time either with men her age and older. Men could be tough at any age.
“You two make me glad I'm not that young. I'd forgotten what jerks guys in their twenties are. I went out with some lulus before I met Chris.”