After that Candy and Annie talked for a while about the horrors of dating, but underneath the joking around, Sabrina could see that Annie was profoundly sad. Charlie dumping her summarily, supposedly for someone else, had been a blow, especially now. She had been so sure that he was the right one. She had almost been ready to move back to New York for him. Sabrina didn't remind her of that.
“It won't kill you to live with us for a while. Besides, it might be fun.”
“It won't be fun,” Annie said stubbornly. “Nothing is ever going to be fun again.”
“Tell me that in six months when you're dating some other guy.”
“There won't ever be another guy,” Annie said sadly, and they could both see that she believed it.
“Okay,” Sabrina said, “I accept that challenge. Today is July fourteenth, Bastille Day. I hereby bet you a hundred dollars that six months from now, which will be January fourteenth, you will either have been dating someone for a while, or will be starting to date someone. A hundred bucks says you'll be dating again. And Candy is our witness. You're gonna owe me a hundred bucks, Annie, so you'd better start saving your money.”
“You're on,” her sister said. “I will bet you that in six months, or six years, I won't have had a date yet.”
“The bet is for six months,” Sabrina said firmly. “If you want a six-year bet, I'm going to charge you a hell of a lot more money. You can't afford it. Take the bet for six months. And remember, you're going to owe me a hundred bucks. Dead-ass certain.”
Annie was lying in bed, smiling. She was depressed about Charlie, but she enjoyed being with her sisters. Even now they made her feel better. Tammy had called her when she got back to L.A. the night before, and had even made her laugh with stories about Juanita, and some crazy guy she sat next to on the plane.
They left her a little while later and went back to the house. Before they left the hospital, Sabrina told her that she was going into the city to sign their lease.
“I haven't said I'd do it,” she said petulantly, still looking depressed, although better than when they'd arrived. She was understandably upset about Charlie. But at least now she wasn't trying to rush back to Florence. Being there alone and blind would have been impossible for her, and she knew it. But she insisted that she didn't want to give up her apartment in Florence. Sabrina told her to discuss that with their father. It was up to him, and she knew Annie's apartment there was dirt cheap so maybe he'd let her.
“Well, if you don't move in with us,” Sabrina told her, “then Candy and I will live together and you'll miss out.” Annie smiled slowly as she said it.
“Okay, okay… we'll see. I'll think about it.”
“I can promise you one thing, Annie Adams,” Sabrina said as they stood up to leave. “If you don't come to live with us, you'll miss out on the time of your life. We're great to live with.”
“No, you're not.” Annie laughed at her and looked straight at her as though she could see her. “I lived with you until I was ten years old, and I can tell you, you are a giant pain in the ass. And Candy is not a lot better. She is the messiest human on the planet.” They all knew that she had been for years, but she seemed to have improved lately.
“I am not anymore!” Candy said, sounding insulted. “Besides, we need a maid if we're going to live together. I am not going to clean house.”
“Gee, maid service too… now that is something to think about,” Annie said, grinning. “I'll let you know,” she said grandly, sounding more like herself for the first time.
“You do that,” Sabrina said, kissed her, and walked out of the room with Candy right behind her. Sabrina turned to wink at Candy, who gave her a thumbs-up. Annie was going to do it. She had no other choice.
Chapter 12
The psychiatrist saw Annie at the hospital as promised on Wednesday afternoon, and she called Sabrina after she'd seen her. She couldn't disclose any of what Annie had said to her, due to the confidentiality laws, but she told Sabrina that she was satisfied with their meeting, and was planning to see her again, once more in the hospital before her discharge, and hopefully on a regular basis once she moved to New York. Annie still hadn't told Sabrina that she was moving into the house, but it sounded as though she would. And Sabrina had signed the lease the night before.
The psychiatrist reassured Sabrina that her sister was not suicidal, or even unusually depressed. She was going through all the emotions that were to be expected after that kind of trauma, and losing both her mother and her sight as a result. It was a major double blow. She suggested, as the surgeon had, that Annie needed to join a rehab program that worked with people who had lost their sight, but she said the doctor would make those referrals before Annie came home. In the meantime, she was satisfied with what she saw. For Sabrina, that was good enough.
The meeting had been particularly interesting for Annie, who had been furious when the psychiatrist walked into the room and told her who she was. She told her that Sabrina had called her, and at first Annie had refused to talk. She said she didn't want any help, and she was doing fine on her own.
“I'm sure you are,” the psychiatrist, Ellen Steinberg, assured her. “But it never hurts to talk.” Annie eventually exploded and said that the doctor had no idea what she was going through, and she didn't know what it was like to be blind. “Actually, I do,” Dr. Steinberg said calmly. “I happen to be blind myself. I have been since I was in a car accident much like yours, right after I finished medical school. That was twenty-four years ago. I had some very tough years afterward. I decided to give up medicine. I had trained as a surgeon, and so as far as I was concerned, my career was pretty well shot. There aren't a lot of calls for blind surgeons.” Annie was fascinated as she listened. “And I was absolutely sure that there was no other specialty I was interested in. I thought psychiatry was for the birds. What did I want to do with a bunch of lunatics and neurotics? I wanted to be a heart surgeon, which was pretty prestigious stuff. So, I sat home and pouted for a couple of years, and drove my family insane. I started to drink a lot, which complicated everything. My brother finally told me what a horse's ass I was, how everyone was sick of my feeling sorry for myself, and why didn't I get a job and stop punishing everyone for how miserable I was.
“I couldn't do anything. I had no training for any job except medicine. I got a job in an ambulance company, answering the phones. And as some kind of crazy fluke, I got another job on a suicide hotline, and I actually liked it, which led me to psychiatry. I went back to school, and studied psychiatry. And the rest is history, as they say. I met my husband when I went back to school, he was a young professor at the medical school. We got married and have four kids. I don't usually talk about myself this way. I'm here to talk about you, Annie, not about myself. But I thought it might help you to hear about what happened to me. I was hit by a drunk driver in the accident. He went to jail for two years. And I was blind for the rest of my life. But actually, if you want to look at it that way, maybe it was a blessing. I wound up in a specialty I love, married to a wonderful man, and have four pretty terrific kids.”
“How can you do all that, being blind?” Annie was fascinated by her. But she couldn't imagine any of that happening to her. Not the good stuff anyway. She felt cursed.
“You learn. You develop other skills. You fall on your face just like everyone else does, blind or not. You make mistakes. You try harder than everyone else at times. You have disappointments and heartbreaks just like people who have their sight. It's not so different in the end. You do what you have to do. Why don't we talk about you for a while? How are you feeling right now?”