THIRTY-FIVE
To my great joy and relief, Sean informed me before lunchtime the next day, Christmas Eve, that Alex felt strong enough to spend time with the family that evening. I happily scrapped my rather chaotic plans to try to take Christmas Eve to her and instead concentrated on everything I needed to get done around the house.
Despite my inability to carry a tune in a bucket, as the old saying went, I scurried around the house that day singing snatches of my favorite Christmas songs, chief among them “Silent Night” and “Joy to the World.” Not for the first time did I wish that the joyful noise I was making could be in tune as well. Both my children had pleasant singing voices, especially Laura, who had done musicals in high school and college. It had to have come from their mother’s side of the family, because I didn’t remember that either of my parents could sing any better than I could.
Stewart helped bring the decorations down from the attic, and he had arranged for a friend with a pickup to deliver the tree he had picked out at a local Christmas tree farm. The tree was scheduled to arrive no later than three this afternoon. That would give us time to get it set up before family started arriving around four thirty. We would start decorating the tree together then.
The doorbell rang a little after two, and I went to answer it, expecting to see Sean’s friend with the tree. It took me a moment to recognize the man on the doorstep. Dr. Henry McGillivray, noted cardiologist, and stepfather to Tommy Russum, appeared to be in an irritable state of mind.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Harris,” he said. “If you have a few minutes, I’d like to talk to you about my son.”
“Certainly, I’ll be happy to talk to you about Tommy.” I stood aside and motioned him in. I noted with interest, and approval, that he referred to Tommy as his son, not as a stepson.
A tall, powerfully built man who exuded an air of authority, Henry McGillivray was around forty. He seemed uneasy, however, and that surprised me. All the times I had seen him in church, he never appeared in the least unsure of himself. He had impressed me as a man who was always in control and was a stickler for detail.
After taking his overcoat and putting it on the rack in the hall, I led him to the kitchen. I didn’t want to confront him with Tommy’s kittens right away.
“Please have a seat,” I said. “Can I offer you something to drink? Sweet tea, a soft drink? The mulled cider isn’t quite ready yet.”
“No, thank you,” McGillivray said. “I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’m glad you came by,” I told him as I took my place at the table. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about Tommy and his kittens.”
In a brusque tone he said, “I’m happy to reimburse you for any expense you’ve incurred because of them.” He reached inside his jacket.
“There’s no need,” I said. “Tommy actually gave me money to help pay the expenses.” I watched him closely. He was obviously surprised at this information. His hand faltered, and then he pulled it back.
“Really?” he asked. “Where did he get the money?”
“He said it was from his allowance. It seemed important to him that he helps pay for them.”
McGillivray frowned. “That’s good, and it shows he does have a responsible side after all. But his allowance isn’t large. It can’t be enough.”
“It’s enough for me,” I said, trying to keep my tone level. “I’d say Tommy is quite a responsible boy. I have no reason to doubt what he told me. He found a starving cat, took care of her and fed her, and then he found himself with five kittens. He was doing what he could to look after them, despite apparent parental opposition. When he felt he could no longer keep them safe and warm, desperation drove him to me. I guess everyone in the neighborhood knows about me and my cat.”
Mentioning Diesel made me realize that he wasn’t with me. He must have gone upstairs with Stewart to fetch another box or two from the attic. I wondered how he would react to the doctor.
“Yes, everyone has seen that big cat of yours,” McGillivray said, his irritation growing, it seemed. “What do you mean, parental opposition? What did Tommy tell you?”
“I’ll show you.” I got up and went to the drawer where I had placed Tommy’s notes to me. I found the first one and brought it to McGillivray. He took it and stared at it. As I watched him, I could see what looked like remorse in his expression.
He put the note on the table and ran a hand across his face. “I never said I wanted to drown those kittens,” he said, sounding for the first time unsure of himself. “As far as I can remember, what I did say was that farmers used to drown kittens they didn’t want to bother with. I’m not even sure why I said it, but I didn’t say it to Tommy. He must have heard me talking to my wife. I’d had a rough day at the hospital. I’d lost a patient on the operating table earlier that day. When I came home and found those kittens in the shed, I just didn’t think about what I said. I honestly didn’t realize those kittens meant so much to him.”
He looked at me, obviously shaken. “Mr. Harris, I love that little boy like he is my own flesh and blood. I wouldn’t want to hurt him.” He paused. “When I’m upset, I say things that come out of frustration and exhaustion. I put in twenty-hour days sometimes. I was angry with myself because I couldn’t save my patient. I took it out on my son and those helpless kittens. I can’t forgive myself for doing that to him.” By the time he finished his short speech, tears streamed down his face.
I didn’t quite know what to do or say. Unless he was a consummate actor or a sociopath, I had to believe that he loved Tommy and was heart-stricken that he had hurt the child so badly. After a short time, he managed to regain control of his emotions. He pulled a handkerchief from a pocket and wiped his reddened eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “My wife and I, Tommy’s mother, lost a baby two years ago, and the thought of losing Tommy terrifies me. I can’t believe I made him afraid of me. Made him hate me.”
“Children listen to us,” I said gently, “and our words can do harm even when we don’t truly intend to hurt them. I have a son myself, an adult now, and we went through a period a couple of years ago when we hardly ever talked to each other. It was my fault, and it started with things I said. I never meant to hurt him, but like you, I was so wrapped up in my own emotions, I was careless.”
“Thank you for telling me that,” McGillivray said. “I feel like scum right this minute, but you obviously repaired your relationship with your son. I only hope to God I can do the same.”
“Tommy is a very loving boy with a big heart,” I said. “I bet he will forgive you.” I smiled. “Especially if you tell him he can bring those kittens home.”
McGillivray nodded. “He is such a sweet kid. He never asks for much, not toys, not video games. Books sometimes, but he seems content with what he has most of the time. Of course he can have those kittens, and we’ll keep them all if that’s what he wants. I just want my son back.”
I was struggling to hold on to my emotions. Talking to McGillivray brought back my own feelings over my estrangement with Sean, and all the guilt had resurfaced. If sharing my experience with this man helped him heal his relationship with his son, I would count it as a blessing.
“Just go home now and talk to him,” I said. “I’m sure he will understand. I have a box that you can put the kittens in if you want to take them now.”
He shook his head. “If you don’t mind keeping them another hour, I’d like to talk to him first. Then we’ll come and get them and take them home together.”
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” I said. “I’ll have a box ready with their toys and food that you can take with you.”