The Manager. Come on, come on, ladies and gentlemen! Heh! You there, machinist!
Machinist. Yes sir?
The Manager. Fix up the white parlor with the floral decorations. Two wings and a drop with a door will do. Hurry up!
[The MACHINIST runs off at once to prepare the scene, and arranges it while The MANAGER talks with the STAGE MANAGER, the PROPERTY MAN, and the PROMPTER on matters of detail. ]
The Manager [to PROPERTY MAN]. Just have a look, and see if there isn't a sofa or divan in the wardrobe . . .
Property Man. There's the green one.
The Step-Daughter. No no! Green won't do. It was yellow, ornamented with flowers – very large! Arid most comfortable!
Property Man. There isn't one like that.
The Manager. It doesn't matter. Use the one we've got.
The Step-Daughter. Doesn't matter? It's most important!
The Manager. We're only trying it now. Please don't interfere. [To PROPERTY MAN.] See if we've got a shop window – long and narrowish.
The Step-Daughter. And the little table! The little mahogany table for the pale blue envelope!
Property Man [to MANAGER]. There's that little gilt one.
The Manager. That'll do fine.
The Father. A mirror.
The Step-Daughter. And the screen! We must have a screen. Otherwise how can I manage?
Property Man. That's all right, miss. We've got any amount of them.
The Manager [to the STEP-DAUGHTER]. We want some clothes pegs too, don't we?
The Step-Daughter. Yes, several, several!
The Manager. See how many we've got and bring them all.
Property Man. All right!
[The PROPERTY MAN hurries off to obey his orders. While he is putting the things in their places, the MANAGER talks to the PROMPTER and then with the CHARACTERS and the ACTORS.]
The Manager [to PROMPTER]. Take your seat. Look here: this is the outline of the scenes, act by act. [Hands him some sheets of paper. ] And now I'm going to ask you to do something out of the ordinary.
Prompter. Take it down in shorthand?
The Manager [pleasantly surprised ]. Exactly! Can you do shorthand?
Prompter. Yes, a little.
The Manager. Good! [Turning to a STAGE HAND.] Go and get some paper from my office, plenty, as much as you can find. [The STAGE HAND goes off, and soon returns with a handful of paper which he gives to the PROMPTER.]
The Manager [to PROMPTER]. You follow the scenes as we play them, and try and get the points down, at any rate the most important ones. [Then addressing the ACTORS.] Clear the stage, ladies and gentlemen! Come over here [Pointing to the left. ] and listen attentively.
Leading Lady. But, excuse me, we . . .
The Manager [guessing her thought ]. Don't worry! You won't have to improvise.
Leading Man. What have we to do then?
The Manager. Nothing. For the moment you just watch and listen. Everybody will get his part written out afterwards. At present we're going to try the thing as best we can. They're going to act now.
The Father [as if fallen from the clouds into the confusion of the stage ]. We? What do you mean, if you please, by a rehearsal?
The Manager. A rehearsal for them. [Points to the ACTORS.]
The Father. But since we are the characters . . .
The Manager. All right: "characters" then, if you insist on calling yourselves such. But here, my dear sir, the characters don't act. Here the actors do the acting. The characters are there, in the "book" [Pointing towards PROMPTER'S box. ] – when there is a "book"!
The Father. I won't contradict you; but excuse me, the actors aren't the characters. They want to be, they pretend to be, don't they? Now if these gentlemen here are fortunate enough to have us alive before them . . .
The Manager. Oh this is grand! You want to come before the public yourselves then?
The Father. As we are . . .
The Manager. I can assure you it would be a magnificent spectacle!
Leading Man. What's the use of us here anyway then?
The Manager. You're not going to pretend that you can act? It makes me laugh! [The ACTORS laugh. ] There, you see, they are laughing at the notion. But, by the way, I must cast the parts. That won't be difficult. They cast themselves. [To the SECOND LADY LEAD.] You play the Mother. [To the FATHER.] We must find her a name.
The Father. Amalia, sir.
The Manager. But that is the real name of your wife. We don't want to call her by her real name.
The Father. Why ever not, if it is her name? . . . Still, perhaps, if that lady must . . . [Makes a slight motion of the hand to indicate the SECOND LADY LEAD.] I see this woman here [Means the MOTHER.] as Amalia. But do as you like. [Gets more and more confused. ] I don't know what to say to you. Already, I begin to hear my own words ring false, as if they had another sound . . .
The Manager. Don't you worry about it. It'll be our job to find the right tones. And as for her name, if you want her Amalia, Amalia it shall be; and if you don't like it, we'll find another! For the moment though, we'll call the characters in this way: [To JUVENILE LEAD.] You are the Son. [To the LEADING LADY.] You naturally are the Step-Daughter . . .
The Step-Daughter [excitedly ]. What? What? I, that woman there? [Bursts out laughing. ]
The Manager [angry ]. What is there to laugh at?
Leading Lady[indignant ]. Nobody has ever dared to laugh at me. I insist on being treated with respect; otherwise I go away.
The Step-Daughter. No, no, excuse me . . . I am not laughing at you . . .
The Manager [to STEP-DAUGHTER]. You ought to feel honored to be played by . . .
Leading Lady[at once, contemptuously ]. "That woman there" . . .
The Step-Daughter. But I wasn't speaking of you, you know. I was speaking of myself – whom I can't see at all in you! That is all. I don't know . . . But . . . You . . . Aren't in the least like me . . .
The Father. True. Here's the point. Look here, sir, our temperaments, our souls . . .
The Manager. Temperament, soul, be hanged! Do you suppose the spirit of the piece is in you? Nothing of the kind!
The Father. What, haven't we our own temperaments, our own souls?
The Manager. Not at all. Your soul or whatever you like to call it takes shape here. The actors give body and form to it, voice and gesture. And my actors – I may tell you – have given expression to much more lofty material than this little drama of yours, which may or may not hold up on the stage. But if it does, the merit of it, believe me, will be due to my actors.