“Fine,” he said with a wide grin. “And we’ll celebrate your new beginning. But I do have a favor to ask: that you please don’t mention it to anyone, even Mrs. Walker. If word gets out, it might end up in the newspapers. And we both can do without that.”
“Of course.”
All the way home she fought the urge to call Lanie.
50
SUMMER 1975
“You’re still seeing her.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not lying.”
“It’s all over your face.”
But he was lying. And she knew it—as if a ticker tape were playing across his forehead: Yes. I see her. I see her every day. I kiss her in the halls. After class at her house. I touch her. She touches me. I want to fuck her.
But he said none of that. Yet she knew. And she found out.
One July afternoon four months after the play, he and Becky were walking hand in hand to the Capitol Cinema to see Jaws. Even though it was a Saturday matinee, the line was long. As they made their way to the ticket booth, she said how scary the film was supposed to be. He smiled and gave her a hug that she turned into a kiss. At that same moment, a car pulled up to the curb no more than ten feet away. It was Lila.
Because of the crowd, she said nothing. She didn’t have to. Her eyes shot tracer bullets at them.
Instantly, his arm fell from Becky’s shoulder like a log. He stepped out of the ticket line and moved to the car’s open window to say it was nothing, that they had just bumped into each other, that Becky was giving him a friendly hello kiss—but Lila blazed at him long enough for her fury to sear his brain. Then without a word she pulled away.
“What’s her problem?”
He made a weak shrug. “I dunno.”
“I’m sorry, but I think she’s weird. She controls you like you’re her puppy.”
In a weak attempt to defend Lila, he said, “That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. She’s jealous of you seeing anybody, which is wicked sick.”
“She’s not sick,” he muttered.
“She’s obsessed. You’re all she has.”
But it was true, all of it. Lila owned him—body and soul. When she got mad and withdrew into her shell it left him feeling desperate. It was her ultimate strategy and his ultimate weakness. He’d do anything to win her back. Anything for her love and approval, including the extinguishing of his own will.
“Drop it, okay?” he said.
Becky made a face and shrugged it off.
He bought the tickets, though the last thing he wanted to do was see a movie about a killer shark. But they did, and for two hours he tried to lose himself in the action. But it was impossible. Lila’s face of rage glowed like an ember in the fore of his brain, making him dread going home. He’d prefer the shark.
After the movie, he walked Becky home. She was noticeably cooler, saying only that she hoped things worked out with his stepmother.
Lila was not home when he returned. Nor was his father. Grateful he had been spared an encounter, he went to bed early, hoping to sink into oblivion. He was deep asleep when the door slammed open and the light went on. Lila’s face was white stone. The clock radio said 12:06. His heart instantly slammed against the walls of his chest. “Wha-what?”
She moved closer and he could smell the sugary haze of the Shalimar. Also the dark fumes of scotch. “So, you’re not seeing her.” Her voice was like broken glass.
“We just went to a movie.”
She stepped closer. “Is that right—just went to a movie?”
“Yeah, no big deal.”
Something was in her hand behind her. “No big deal, huh? You’re seeing her,” she hissed.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re seeing her. You’re dating her. You’re boyfriend-girlfriend.”
“No, we’re not. Wh-what’re you talking about?”
“What am I talking about? I’m talking about this.”
Her hand snapped up with a photo of Becky. She turned it over. “With love forever, Becky.”
“Where did you get that?” Before she could respond, he said, “That’s old.”
“Is that right?” She turned it over. “Then why’s it dated two weeks ago? Every photograph’s got a date printed.”
He felt the blood seep out of his head. “You took that from my lockbox. You had no right.”
Her breasts swelled like armor. “Don’t you tell me what I have a right to. Everything in this house I have a right to. It belongs to me, Buster. Everything, this room, your furniture, your precious lockbox. Everything, including you.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Just friends?”
“Yes,” he pleaded. She looked positively insane.
“Yeah, then how do you explain this?” In the other hand was a wrapped Trojan condom.
He nearly threw up when he recognized it.
“You’ve fucked her.”
“N-no. I swear.”
She closed in on him. “You’re lying.”
“N-no, I’m not.” And it was true. He and Becky had made out, even explored each other’s bodies with their hands. But he had not had sexual intercourse with her. But how could he convince Lila? He wished he could transport the truth from his mind into hers so she’d believe him, so she’d be normal again.
Her teeth flashed at him. “Admit it. Admit it!” She was at the edge of his bed.
She looked demonic. “I didn’t,” he whimpered. He started to get up, but she swatted the air in front of his face, and he didn’t know if she missed on purpose. “I didn’t. I swear to God.” He put his hands before his face.
“Then you were planning to. Tell me the truth.”
“She made me.”
“What?”
“She made me get it. She made me go to Bobby d’Onofrio and get one.”
“How could a cheap little slut who doesn’t weigh a hundred pounds make you get it? Did she twist your arm? Put a gun to your head? Threaten to beat you up?”
“N-no. She said just in case.”
“Just in case you fucked the little bitch, right?”
He nodded.
“No. You got it on your own because you were planning to make dirty with her.” Lila began to unbutton her blouse. “You want to make dirty? Is that right?”
He shook his head as she removed her blouse and tossed it on the floor. She was wearing her lacy black bra. “Mom, please no.”
“Becky Tolland is a little tart. You hear me?”
“Yes.”
“A little cheap tart.” With one hand she whipped off her bra and tossed it on the floor.
“Wh-wh-what are you doing?”
“What am I doing?” She unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor.
Underneath she wore panties and black lace-top stockings. Through the material he could see the thicket of red hair.
“I’m going to show you the error of your ways.” She peeled off her panties. Then she slipped off one stocking and tossed it on the pile. The other stocking she held on to. He made a move to get off the bed. “Oh, no,” she said. “You’re not going anywhere.”
He tried not to glare at the tuft of red hair just inches from his face.
“Take off your pajamas.” Her voice was a harsh whisper.
“No, please.”
“Yes, because I’m going to show you what real dirty is, not some teenybopper slut thing.”
“Do I have to?”
And in a mimicking voice she whined, “Yes, you have to.”
Her hot googly eyes bore down on him, making his hand slide up his front to undo his top. She did not take her eyes off his as he removed it. “And your pants.”
“Please no.” His voice was barely audible. He could feel the force of her will scorch dead his own. He removed his bottoms and brought his hands in front of him.