“What’s Zac made you do?” Skylark shouted. “Have you signed anything? You know I’m your guardian so anything you’ve signed won’t stand up in court. Why do you need him, Mum? Why —”
“Why?” Zac interrupted. “Because I give her what you can’t. You want some of it too, girlie? You want some of Zac’s action?”
“Keep away from me, you creep. Go back to the swamp where you came from and do everybody a favour and die.”
Cora kept smiling and smiling through it all. Family squabbles? Boring, boring, boring. The stuff Zac had given her was just great. It was like feeling something bubbling under you like champagne, keeping you afloat. It made you want to spread your arms and flyyy —
Skylark and Zac were so busy arguing they didn’t know Cora had left the room until they heard her entrance music. “Onstage Miss Edwards, take your position please.”
“Mum?” Skylark called.
Cora wasn’t there. “Mum, no.” Skylark pushed past Zac and ran towards the wings. It was dark, she tripped, and there were so many people in the way. “Let me through,” she called. Her heart leapt with hope when she realised Cora had missed her cue. The curtain was still down. There was still time to stop her. But the entrance music had started again.
“Cue Miss Edwards.”
“Where is she!” Ronnie asked. He had been backstage, stage managing the amateurs. It hadn’t occurred to him that the famous Cora Edwards would miss a cue and he was tearing his hair out.
There was a nervous rustle in the audience. Hoki and Bella looked at each other, puzzled. “What’s going on?” Flora Cornish recalled the awful scene that had finished Cora’s television career. Arnie, standing with Francis at the back of the hall, remembered what Skylark had told him about her mother: I have to be strong for her. All we have in the world is each other. Lucas was on tenterhooks. As for Melissa, she was hoping Cora would trip on her entrance and fall flat on her face.
For the third time, the entrance music started up. With a sigh of relief, Ronnie caught a glimpse of Cora climbing the backstage ladder which would take her to the top of the set — a near-exact replica of one Madonna had in her music video.
“Stop her,” Skylark yelled. Her voice was drowned in the orchestral introduction.
Cora reached the top of the staircase, found her mark and took up her position. She saw Ronnie and blew him a kiss. With a sigh of relief, he nodded to the headmaster, who was standing in front of the curtain playing Ed Sullivan. Then he caught a movement on the far side of the stage. Who was that? Cora’s daughter? She was trying to get his attention. What was she saying?
“Don’t raise the curtain. Don’t —”
It was too late. Cora was ready. Everybody was ready. Cora struck a provocative pose.
Ed Sullivan gave a grin. “Ladies and gentlemen, not only do we have Conrad Birdie tonight but the girl all you men would most like to meet on a blind date. She’s that superstar of our times, Queen of Pop, Maa-donna!” he ad libbed.
The curtain went up. Exposed at the top of the stairs was a dazzling apparition. Applause, wolf whistles and cheers went up in the auditorium. This was what they had been waiting for all night. It was true after all. Cora Edwards, as Madonna, had really come to town. She looked sensational.
Cora began to blow kisses to all her fans. And after that entrance, who cared that Madonna’s appearance in a 1960s musical was an anachronism?
She saw the boy playing Conrad Birdie standing at stage left. Remembered her lines. “Hey, Conrad, how’s it hanging?”
With a roar, the audience lifted the roof off the auditorium. Quickly, Ronnie ran the tape of “Like a Virgin”. There were a few bars of introductory music before Cora’s lipsync. She began to work it, baby, strutting her stuff, flaunting her body, and pouting her lips as if she wanted to kiss everybody in the world. They loved her, they really loved her. But, at that moment, somebody dark knocked on her head, wanting to come in. Cora shook her head, willing the dark intruder to go away. Can’t you see I’m busy? Perspiration was building up beneath the wig. She almost lost her place. Then, there they were, the bars leading up to the beginning of her lipsync. Thank God Ronnie had suggested it; free of having to sing the song, she could concentrate on dancing the steps. She tapped out the beat with her shoes. One two, one two three and:
“I went to New York, I didn’t know anybody
I wanted to dance, I wanted to sing —”
Cora took the first step down the staircase. That’s when whoever was knocking on Cora’s head broke down the door. Coming ready or not. Before she knew what was happening, she was tumbling down the staircase and: Cue Weather Report.
Explosions popped in Cora’s brain. This had all happened before. Where was it? When was it? Cue Music.
Cora tried to stand up. Where aaare youuu? Her outfit was ripped. One of her shoes had come off. Conrad was trying to help her up. She pushed him away. She had to get herself together to read the weather, yes, that was it. Cue Ms Edwards.
Cora stumbled to the footlights. She made ready to beam her 300-megawatt smile out to the whole of New Zealand. But then she heard voices, or thought she heard voices, and they were whispering, laughing, mocking her.
And, all of a sudden, Cora felt a huge rocketing pain. The dark intruder leapt out at her. You didn’t think I’d let you get away that easily did you? Cora screamed. “No, no, no, noooooooo —” Action.
Cora fell to the stage, put her hands up and pulled the golden wig from her head. With the wig went all illusion, all hope, all redemption. All that was left was a woman made up of sticks and straw, sugar and spice and everything nice, pitilessly exposed in the harsh light.
And where was lovely John Campbell this time, when she really needed him?
“Mum. Mummy?”
They were back at the bach in Tuapa Valley. Skylark was sitting beside Cora, trying to revive her. Hoki and Bella were hovering nearby, looking on.
“Hello, honey,” Cora whispered. “I really messed up, didn’t I? I messed up big time.”
“Thank God,” Skylark sighed. “You didn’t mess up, Mum. All you did was trip on the stairs. It’s the stuff that legends are made of. Nobody will remember Bye Bye Birdie, but they will certainly remember the night Cora Edwards fell.”
“I heard the audience laughing. Somebody laughed.”
“No, Mum, nobody laughed. Truly.” She was trying to keep her mother’s mood upbeat. She knew how quickly depression followed a drug-induced high. Once it wore off Cora would go down with the elevator.
Suddenly, Cora looked around, frightened. “Where am I? How did I get here?”
“Don’t worry, Mum,” Skylark said. “As soon as you fell I asked Bella to help me get you off the stage. Ron wanted to call an ambulance to take you to hospital.”
“They would have found out about me … I would have been sent back to rehab …”
“I had to tell Bella,” Skylark said.
Bella had once been a nurse aide. She recognised Cora’s symptoms. Told Arnie to get the ute out to the front — and quick. The local news reporter had managed a lucky snap as Cora was being carried out by a grim-faced Lucas through the milling, shocked-looking crowd.
“Where’s Zac?” Cora asked. “Is Zac here?” She looked from Skylark’s face to Hoki and Bella.
“No, Mum, Zac’s gone.” At the first hint of trouble he had burnt rubber getting out of town.
“He’s done another runner on me, hasn’t he,” Cora said. Tears were streaking down her face, and she began to shiver. Next moment she was convulsing.